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vrijdag 14 oktober 2016

Good Decisions Start With a Stop

By Michael Josephson



More often than we like, most of us face choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, or end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drum roll warning us that the stakes are high. Even worse, we often don’t have a lot of time to figure out what to do.
It’s no surprise that most bad decisions — the ones that mess up our lives — are made impulsively or without sufficient reflection.
Ancient proverbs tell us to “count to ten when you’re angry” or “think ahead.” But anger and lack of preplanning are only two factors that can impede excellent decision making. Fatigue, fear, frustration, stress, impatience, and emotions also create obstacles to wise choices.
Just as we learned to look both ways before we cross the street, we can learn to analyze every important decision-making situation to allow us to arrive at conclusions that are both effective and ethical.
Each decision, therefore, should start with a stop – a forced moment of reflection to help us clarify our goal, evaluate the completeness and credibility of our information, and devise an alternate strategy, if necessary, to achieve the best possible result. Stopping also allows us to muster our moral willpower to overcome temptations and emotions that could lead to a rash, foolish, or ill-considered decision.
While it’s great to have a day or two to sleep on a problem, or even a few hours, many situations don’t afford us that luxury. But a pause of even a few seconds can often be enough.

Remember, character counts.

14:07:00 - By Vincent 0

woensdag 5 oktober 2016

What Most Entrepreneurs Never Share: 7 Honest, Actionable Answers to Your 7 Most Debilitating Fears & Challenges

by SCOTT



“It’s not an adventure until something goes wrong.”
– Yvon Chouinard, Founder of Patagonia
Urgent Note: Live Your Legend RAW, our latest creation, went live a couple days ago. You have 2.5 more days (until this Sunday at midnight PST) to get early Insider’s (and very discounted) lifetime access + a live mentoring call with me. Lots more details below, or if you’re a member of our free LYL community, check your email for access.
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The Fun of Things Going Wrong…

The above is a snapshot of Chelsea learning to drive a stick shift on a wide open road in Northern Argentina a few days ago. Usually I do the driving in foreign countries, especially when a stick shift is involved, but I managed to leave my driver’s license at a bike shop in Uruguay a couple weeks ago, and despite endless attempts by me and our Argentinian friends, I don’t think I’m ever going to see it again.
That road might look tame enough for learning stick, and it was, right up until it turned to dirt, rocks, mud and river crossings a few miles later – which have become the ‘normal’ driving conditions for the past few days and 10+ hours on the road.  #saygoodbyetopavement #lovemywife
And that is why the above quote from Yvon Chouinard might be my favorite quote of all.
The best stuff is never planned, and if you knew what was coming, you’d likely never start. 
Life (and business) have a funny way of working like that.

And that is exactly why I created Live Your Legend RAW – to share the behind-the-scenes stuff that most entrepreneurs are too scared to share.

It’s a window into the “inner circle” so to speak – of what it takes to live your own legend.
More specifically, it’s a resource for honest, uncut, weekly lessons, guidance & focused actions on how to successfully pursue a dream & do work you love.
Despite some incredible (read: laughable) technological challenges of running a web-based business in rural Argentina (Yvon’s words strike again), LYL RAW went live two days ago (3 weeks behind schedule).
And I’m effing pumped that many of you have already joined!
In building RAW, I asked all of you what your biggest questions and challenges were in pursuing work you love and surrounding yourself with the people who make it possible.
That’s what I always do before creating something new for our community – so I know exactly what would help you the most.
Almost immediately, we had nearly 1,000 responses.
And after reading through them, we found a few things that everyone seems to be struggling with.
This used to surprise me. Now I expect it – it turns out, regardless of what we’re all trying to build, change or improve, or where we are in the process, the same challenge always seem to come up.
So, in honor that, I want to share some brief answers to your biggest questions and challenges.
Over the coming months, we’ll dive incredibly deep into these (and a ton more) in our weekly RAW sessions and lessons.

Honest, Actionable Solutions to Your 7 Biggest Challenges

#1.“What the heck am I supposed to do? I have so many interests and no idea how to choose. How do I find a dream big enough to inspire me?”

AKA: Choosing & Defining a Passion & Dream Worth Fighting (& Living) For

ACTIONABLE ANSWER: 

Follow the path of excitement – follow the spark. No one ever totally figures this out. I’m learning more about it every day (hence creating LYL RAW). And that’s the fun part. Stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself to find that ONE THING.
It’s not about what you’re ‘supposed’ to do. It’s about what you’re meant to do. That passion and fire comes from doing the things that intersect with your talents, strengths, values, beliefs and how you can actually make someone else’s life better. Everything you do – every success or failure, is part of the grand experiment. It’s a data point to better direct you towards the work you can’t not do. You just have to pay attention and do something with it.
Think about what makes you incredibly angry to talk about – something wrong about the world that you can’t stop thinking about. Focus your energy on helping with a solution. And start on an incredibly small scale.
Don’t worry about picking the ‘right’ passion or direction among all your interests.There will always likely be more than you can handle at any one time – and the list will only grow as you continue to pursue what lights you up.
The only way to have a chance at doing it all, is to pick ONE thing right now and move forward with it. The irony is that when you give incredible focus to one of your interests, that often opens up doors to incorporate others.
A few years ago I was terrified to launch a site that was only about doing work you love. There was so much other stuff I wanted to talk about. But now that incredible focus has allowed me to incorporate social dynamics, human connection, relationships, entrepreneurship, physical fitness and a lot of adventure (as I write you from a tiny town in Northern Argentina).
But if I started with all those things, most of you probably would have never heard of LYL. There would have been no clear and specific reason to pay attention.

#2. “I have no idea where to start and can’t find the motivation & momentum to keep going. How do I create a business without having it all figured out first? What’s the very, very first step?”

AKA: Starting (& Finishing) Your Most Important Projects & Finding the Unshakable Courage to Pursue Your Dreams

ACTIONABLE ANSWER:

No one has it all figured out. No one. And anyone who says they do is a liar. If fact, the more you learn and figure out, the more you realize you have to learn and figure out. But that’s part of the party that is pursuing a dream, doing work you love and making a difference in the world.
All that matters is the next step. If you can take that, then you can take the next. That’s what makes magic. Stop spinning your tires trying to figure out how to build the whole damn castle. Find a good plot of dirt and a couple good bricks. Make the steps so incredibly small that they’d be impossible not to take.
And in case you’re wondering what to specifically do first or next, it’s the thing that scares you the most. And the thing that’s likely to help others the most. It’s not getting business cards or a new suit or even your website URL.
It’s getting out in front of people and finding a way to change their life. That is all of our biggest task. Figure out how to use your talents, strengths and passions to make one person’s life better. Then do it with another, and another. Only after you’ve nailed that, do you think of how to apply tools and technology to scale your impact. Almost everyone gets this backwards (I know I did). Nail your impact first, then scale.
And if you’re lacking motivation, start spending time with other people with similar dreams. That’s why we created our free LYL Local communities. None of this is meant to do alone. Be grateful for the fact that you’re even able to read this and have the ideas that you do. Then realize that it’s your ultimate responsibility to do something with it!

#3. “How do I start something that makes real money, on-the-side, so I don’t have to take all the risk of dropping everything. I just can’t just check out and take all that financial risk right now!”

AKA: Building a Risk-Averse Passion-Based Business On The Side

ACTIONABLE ANSWER:

No one can just drop everything and leave. And even if you could, it’s often not the smartest thing to do.
Create your side hustle first. Build out your idea on the side, and use your current gig as a learning ground, as you test out what you love, how you can help people and what is going to actually work.
Live Your Legend was a side project for over five years before I went full time. And by then I was sure it was going to work, because it already had. The community was growing, the revenue was growing and I clearly found a way I could change peoples’ lives.
I cannot stress this enough – do not quit tomorrow with no idea of what’s next.There are so few people that can thrive in an uncertain environment like that, that I’m now just telling everyone to wait. If you jump ship without having a clear idea of what you actually want to be doing, the uncertainty will likely cause panic, which will lead you to another miserable job – and another 6-12 months of wasted time. Nothing’s worse than that.
If you figure out how to add massive value to someone’s life, then you can find a way to build a successful business around it. That first step is the hard part. Then you can find models of people who have successfully built the businesses and lives that you want. Study them like crazy.
The incredible thing about being alive today, is that we rarely need to invent something from scratch – the business models and examples are everywhere. We just have to figure out how to apply our ‘thing’ to them.
Start with making your first dollar from adding meaningful value to someone’s life.If you can make $1 from that, you can make a lot more.

#4. “How do I meet people who actually support me pursuing these ‘crazy’ dreams of mine. My friends and family don’t get it.”

AKA: Finding YOUR People Who Refuse to Let You Fail

ACTIONABLE ANSWER:

Start with one person who inspires you. A family member, a friend, a friend of a friend. Anyone who is somehow linked to you or someone you know. Reach out to them, tell them what you admire about them and what you’d like to build. Start by spending a few minutes on the phone or an hour out on a workout together.
At the same time, spend one less hour with the people who drain your energy. We all know who they are. Make a list of your toxic friends and slowly spend less time with them as you spend more time with people who inspire you.
Then join a Live Your Legend LOCAL group (or start one) in your home town. We now have them in over 300 cities in 70+ countries. They are 100% free and are full of ‘crazy’ people who believe what you believe. People just like you and me.
Tell the people closest to you what your goals and dreams are and why. Sit them down 1:1 and tell them how much you love and care about them and how you believe your plans will make you a better person – and improve your relationship with them. Make it crystal clear that you are not asking them to change. Show compassion.
Then spend another hour hanging around someone who inspires you. Then another. And another. Life’s too short to spend time with people who kill your dreams.

#5. “I feel guilty charging others for giving my advice, especially knowing there are other people better than I am at what I’m offering.”

AKA: Making Your First Dollar & Becoming a Practical Expert
Actionable Answer:
There will ALWAYS be people better than you. No matter how hard you work. That’s not the point.
The point is to find the intersection of your unique talents, passion and experience +the people who desperately want and need help with what you know. That is what it means to be a practical expert. And that is all you need to help people in a massive way and build an awesome business around it.
If you wait until you’re the leading expert in the world, you’ll never get anywhere.The world’s greatest experts earned those titles by doing things long before they were as qualified as they are today.
The only qualification, credential and definition of expertise that matters is getting massive results for people. You can start doing that in some capacity right this second.
And believe it or not, people will value and appreciate you more if you offer an honest and congruent way for them to compensate you. When people receive massive value, they want to pay for it. And if they do, then they’re much more likely to actually value and implement what you teach them.
Every person that’s been on this earth for a couple decades or more, has some talent or experience that another group of people is dying for help on. Those people would happily pay you for your services – and thank you for it.
That starts by finding one person. By changing one life. That will give you the confidence to start charging for the value you’re providing.
Most of the time the only thing keeping you making money from your talents and passions is…YOU. You’ll probably start making money as soon as you decide to start putting a price on what you’ve got to give.
Don’t overthink this.

#6. “How do I get people to even pay attention? Where do I find them and what should I be doing to build that online following?”

AKA: Building a Loyal & Raving Audience
Actionable Answer:
First start with one person – in the real world. See above – you noticing a pattern here? Then use those in-person interactions to craft a very specific and concise description of how you’re helping people (i.e. your personal positioning statement). For LYL this is ‘how to find and do work you love and surround yourself with the people who make it possible.
Then create a platform (a website or blog with just one or two pages to start) and create incredibly useful and directly actionable content to help the people you want to help. Put your absolute best stuff out there.
Then create incredibly useful content for other websites with similar and bigger audiences. This is what many call “guest posting.” Do this as far and wide as possible. Start with small sites, build credibility, then ladder up to bigger sites.
Then point those readers to a specific page on your site that gives huge value and asks them to join your community (i.e. subscribe to email list). Like we do at liveyourlegend.net/toolkit. Sending them to a specific page will literally increase your conversion rate by 5-20x. No joke. It’s incredible.
The formula is simple: Create massively useful content for you tribe + create massively useful content for other tribes. Repeat a lot of times.
Then continue to blow your audience’s mind with value.

#7. “How do I know which areas of my business to focus on when? What’s the ideal 80/20 time management breakdown?”

AKA: The Best Daily Habits, Tools & Routines for Handling Stress, Pressure, Fear & Rejection
Actionable Answer:
Let’s keep this one dead simple.
Do your most important task right when you wake up – the one that scares you the most. You know what’s most important or at least one of the most important things. Don’t do any other work until this is done. Then the rest of the day will be a victory no matter what.
Put all your creative energy into how to help people with the things you’re good at and enjoy. Be relentless with this. Turn off all your BS notifications for emails, Facebook and all else. Install Freedom or RescueTime or something similar to block websites. Or better yet, don’t turn on the Internet (disconnect wi-fi) until you’ve done what matters.
And give your body and mind first priority. You can’t operate at full potential if you miss workouts, eat like shite, rush non-stop through everything and leave no time for yourself and those you love. This is not optional. Taking care of yourself is more important than any of the other stuff.
Your body fuels your mind and they both fuel your potential. 
Meditate.
Breathe.
Love.
Play.
Slow down.

Know Enough to Take the Next Step…

I know these answers barely scratch the surface, and that’s the point.
Because knowing enough to take the next step is all you ever need – and usually all you should realistically expect to find. As much as you want it all laid out, with perfect clarity, before taking the first steps – that’s just not how it works.
That’s not how anything meaningful comes to life.
Start with the dream and vision of the world you want to live in.
Then take the most educated next step possible – TODAY, right this second. 
Know that all of it is going to evolve as you blaze the trail. Welcome the adventure. Because that’s what makes it worthwhile (and so much damn fun).
Especially if we get to all do it together.
That’s why we’ve created Live Your Legend RAW.
And I cannot wait to see what you do with it.
Ciao from Tilcara, Argentina…
-Scott
SOURCE
12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

Do You Try to Make Changes in Your Daily Life but Fail?

by Remez Sasson


Do you promise yourself to make changes in your day-to-day life but do nothing about it, and don’t even try?
Do you try to make changes, but fail?
Do you quit, the moment you confront obstacles?
These experiences are quite common, and they often create feelings of frustration, and sometimes, even anger. Why does this happen, and what you can you do about it?
We are all busy all the time with work, studies, children, family matters, and various tasks and obligations. These activities take a lot of our time and energy, and often, because we are so busy, we forget our promises and plans. We promise ourselves to make changes in our lives, but our obligations and daily activities do not leave time for them.
You need to ask yourself, whether all your daily tasks and obligations are important. You need to ask yourself, which obligations and activities you can dispense with, which ones you can do differently, so that can save time and energy for other matters.
Do you, sometimes, feel as if you are on a merry-go-around, and cannot get down? Do you do everything the same way every day, going through the same daily routine from the moment you wake up to the moment you fall asleep?
You need to get off this merry-go-around, and starting living your life. This might seem impossible, but you can do so by taking small steps.
Start doing one small thing differently, for example:
  • Get up ten minutes earlier in the morning.
  • If you usually skip breakfast, find the time to eat in the morning.
  • Show more interest in the people who work with you.
  • If you want to read a certain book, and never have the time, start by reading just 3-4 pages a day.
  • Do you often promise yourself to clean and rearrange your drawers but never have the time for this? Now is the right time. Clean and rearrange the contents of just one drawer.
  • Do you often think of taking on the phone with a friend, with whom you have not spoken for a long time? Just pick the phone now, and call him or her, before you start looking for excuses why not to do so right now.
To make changes, you have to take action. Otherwise, you will never make the changes you want. As you see from the examples, you do not need to take big steps. Small steps are enough, because they are easier, and hardly evoke any inner resistance. When you succeed with small matters, you gain the confidence and motivation to do bigger things.
There is something important that you should know. Often when we start something new, or when we want to make some changes in our life, we often encounter various obstacles. These obstacles are not necessarily new. They have been there all the time, but we were not aware of them. Now, that we want to make changes in our life, we are more than ever aware of them, and we might believe that are there just to annoy us and stand in our way, which is not true.
Another obstacle we might encounter is other people’s opposition and disapproval. People do not like changes, and they therefore, instinctively oppose and disapprove change. For this reason, it is advisable not to talk about the changes we are making in our life. This can save us a lot of confrontations and opposition.
What can you do to follow through with your decision to make changes in your life?
As I said earlier, start with just one simple, small project. This will pose less inner and outer resistance, and would be easier to follow through. Then, proceed to another one that requires more effort or change. Gradually, you will have more inner strength, confidence and motivation, and experience less inner and resistance from other people.
To make it easier, a little stronger willpower and self-discipline would be most helpful. You can find information and a few simple exercises to develop these skills in my article, Willpower and Self-Discipline Guidance and Exercises.

If you need a little more motivation, the following articles might help:
10 Motivational Tips to Inspire You to Become Successful
What Is Motivation and How to Strengthen It

12:23:00 - By Vincent 0

maandag 26 september 2016

THE SIMPLE JOYS ARE THE MOST MEANINGFUL

By Mark Manson


The cute Brazilian girl in the cell phone store looks up at me and sputters a series of syllables in my general direction. She’s been fiddling with my phone for 15 minutes now, the phone I just bought for twice as much as I would have paid in any other country. Now she can’t get it to work. Explanation is pending, at least until I decipher the Portuguese syllable soup she continues to vomit at me.
I’m frustrated, if you didn’t notice.
“Não entendo,” I reply, for probably the twelfth time. It means “I don’t understand.” One of the only Portuguese phrases I know.
The coy smile she had given me the first few times I said it are now replaced with an aching impatience. She frowns at me, then at the phone, and then sighs. She pulls out a Post-It note, scrawls some Portuguese on it, hands it to me along with my dysfunctional new phone and slowly instructs me to go to another store in the mall and have them deal with it. She has to repeat these instructions three times before I understand them. This is the fourth cell phone store I am being sent to. Apparently there are a lot of bureaucratic procedures involved with buying a cell phone in Brazil, the details of which are obviously sailing clear over my head. And since none of the store clerks speak English, they’ve all eventually reached a breaking point, lost patience and sent me down to the next store to be somebody else’s headache.
The entire process has taken close to three hours… and it’s still not over. The mall cell phone nightmare continues.
(Although to be honest, it should have only been about an hour-and-a-half, I fell asleep in the Claro store waiting for a customer service rep to call my number. I awoke 45 minutes later to find they had proceeded to half a dozen customers beyond me. I strained to convince the rep to take me next since I had been there an hour. But my Portuguese persuasion skills weren’t very effective… OK, since we’re being honest right now, they were non-existent. I couldn’t say a thing, and therefore I hardly raised a fuss. Thus I took a new number and sat my ass back down, this time forcing myself to remain awake for the ensuing 30 minutes I would wait… again.)
I never resolved my cell phone issue that day. I finally found an old man in the mall who spoke English and was kind enough to come translate for me — yes, I walked around a Brazilian mall randomly approaching people to find someone to translate for me. It turns out that Brazil requires an identification number to activate any cell phone bought within the country, the equivalent of having a Social Security Number in the US to buy a cell phone. There’s a formal process that’s required and if you’re a foreigner and don’t work for a Brazilian company, then you’re screwed (unless you can get a friend to come in and register your phone under their name). As is probably obvious, I did not have any Brazilian friends with me. So almost four hours after arriving, I left the mall, having paid too much for a phone I still couldn’t use.
…And then got lost going home.
This was my first day in Sao Paulo. And I would be lying if I said days like this were rare. They don’t happen that often, but with enough regularity that the seething frustration, the awkward self-consciousness, the mental exhaustion, and the unavoidable sense of isolation, they’ve all become familiar to me now.
Today, internet entrepreneurship is the latest rage. Attachment-free mobile living is the new dream. And you don’t have to look much further than the 4 Hour Work Week to see the romanticization of such a post-modern lifestyle.
seated and relaxed man drinking a beer in peace
But as with any lifestyle, there are strengths and weaknesses to it. It’s not all a bed of roses. You sacrifice some things to gain others. And don’t worry, I’m not here to complain about every trying moment I’ve come across in two-and-a-half years of traveling. There have been far, far, far more good days than bad. And I would not take back a single life decision I’ve made.
But I do want to paint a realistic picture of what this lifestyle entails, the highs with the lows. And posit that perhaps the biggest difference between this lifestyle and a conventional one, is simply that the highs are higher and the lows lower, thus reorienting what one values spending their time on.
Because this is what you don’t hear, and that Tim Ferriss would never tell you: that day after the Brazilian cell phone debacle, after finally finding my way back to my hotel at dusk, I went and sat in my room by myself. Without TV. Without Wifi. No movies. No friends (not like I’d be able to call them anyway). Nothing to do. I went home and laid in bed for most of the evening. Physically and mentally drained and miserable.
And alone.
There’s nothing new about a bad day. We all have them. And we all have our own strategies to unravel our negative emotions. Sometimes we call up a friend and unload on them, perhaps over beers. Or we call up mom or dad and look for a little reassurance. Maybe we put on a movie with our significant other and just forget about everything for a few hours. Or maybe we hit the gym or take it out on a basketball court.
But life on the road, it’s quite often that you don’t have any friends to have beers with, you can’t call a parent and lean on them for some support, you don’t have a movie to watch or someone to curl up with, no gym membership, no basketball court. Often you have to take the brunt of your emotions alone, with nothing to distract you from them.

And it’s hard. But it makes you stronger, more mentally resilient, more centered. When you do eventually bounce back, life feels much lighter. And those joyous experiences you feel in contrast to the dark and lonely ones become that much better. In fact, I’ve found that the stark contrast between highs and lows has actually begun to redefine what those joyous moments are.
Some of my happiest memories from last year were going out and just having beers with some friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Something which I did weekly for years and years prior to this new lifestyle and that was always available to me.
Group of People Watching Sunset in Riomaggiore, Italy
It’s a bizarrely paradoxical effect on one’s emotional life: the extreme highs and novelty of experience render certain “exciting” activities to feel meaningless, and the extreme lows of isolation and frustration make many “normal” activities feel exciting and fulfilling. A Fourth of July parade looks a lot different after you’ve been to Carnaval in Brazil (twice) and stayed up three days straight partying in Ibiza. And I’ll give you a hint: it becomes really boring.
A road trip to the beach back home seems silly in comparison to living on the beach in Thailand, or taking surfing lessons in the swells of Bali. In many ways, you become jaded to your former life.
But on the other hand, the dark times of loneliness, depression, frustration, and isolation make other routine daily events of life — events which you and everyone else take for granted — that much better and more significant.
Last year, I got terribly sick in a rural town in India — possibly the last place on earth you would want to be sick. I had a scorching fever, cold chills and a headache that jackhammered the inside of my skull. I ran out of potable water at about 10PM, and the only stores in town had closed down for the night. I laid in bed through the entire night, unable to sleep due to fever and sweats. No medicine. Dehydrated and incredibly thirsty. And just to make things more interesting, a few hundred bugs swarmed into the room and were now crawling and buzzing around the walls, and occasionally on me.
Mom’s Christmas dinner tastes a lot better after an experience like that.
Which I guess is what the paradox resolves into: a devaluing of superficial pleasures and a greater appreciation for simple, authentic ones. I don’t really enjoy the presents at Christmas anymore, the fireworks at fourth of July, or even the parties on New Year’s Eve. I’ve seen bigger parties, been to more beautiful places, and already own everything I’ll ever want in this life. But unlike before, I appreciate every day spent with those who mean a lot to me. A quiet beer on a patio. Watching a basketball game together. Going to a birthday party or a barbecue. These are the events I look forward to now and get excited about, days and weeks ahead of time… And that’s probably the way it should be.
12:28:00 - By Vincent 0

vrijdag 23 september 2016

12 Things You Don't Actually Need to Have Figured Out by Age 30

BY LOCKE HUGHES



In our early 20s, many of us are introduced to the post-grad world, which is apparently full of possibilities. The sky’s the limit! Anything we can put our mind to we can accomplish! Live your dreams!
Or so we’ve been told. Bombarded by messages of endless opportunity, it’s not insane to expect things to just sort of work out as they’re supposed to—just like they did while you plodded through high school and (if you're lucky) college, from class to class and grade to grade.
Once you accept that being 'grown up' isn’t exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.
But as you’ve probably realized by now, life isn’t always linear. Things don’t always turn out the way you pictured in elementary school, doodling your dreams in your favorite Lisa Frank notebook. While it’s sort of terrifying, once you accept that being “grown up” isn’t exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.
I’m not saying setting goals isn’t worthwhile (it is)—but when your goals take a little longer to reach or you end up shifting your priorities, that’s OK too. From settling down to paying off all your loans, here are 12 things you don’t have to have figured out quite yet.


1. How to Travel the World

I don’t think I have to tell you that traveling is awesome: It opens your eyes to new cultures, beautiful sights, and different types of people. But it’s also stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. And when you follow the adventures of travel bloggers on Instagram, days spent in a cubicle don’t quite compare.
However, putting off a career (and real life) to bounce from Yacht Week to music festival to 10-day yoga retreat isn’t 1) all that realistic and 2) all it’s cracked up to be. Science even confirms it: One studyfound that social media does a great job of highlighting all the glamorous upsides of a jet-setting lifestyle—without portraying the potential drawbacks. As this writer puts it, a picture might be worth a thousand words, but it also leaves out two thousand others.

2. The Person You’ll Marry

As if relationships weren’t tough enough, we now have Tinder and every other app thrown into the mix, making dating in your 20s a whole new game. All that swiping makes it seem like there are a ton of fish in the sea, so when you don’t find the Nemo to your Dory, it kind of sucks.
If you haven’t met the love of your life—the person you want to wake up next to every day for the rest of your life—it’s OK. That’s a huge decision. Don’t let other people’s expectations (or nosy questions) make you rush into something that isn’t right. That’ll just lead to way more heartache down the road. And if you’re putting pressure on yourself because you must. Settle. Down. By. Age. 30, maybe it’s time to rethink your time frame.

3. Your Dream Job

While it's awesome to be ambitious, the reality is that most of us start in entry-level jobs with mind-numbing tasks like checking email and fetching coffee (been there, done that). But no matter where you start, even on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder, there's ample opportunity to grow, network, and learn from the people around you. Getting the career you want involves busting your ass—and being humble in the process.
Also: If you find out your so-called dream job is a dud (or even if you get let go of said dream job), there’s a silver lining. As this articlepoints out, that kind of “career reality check can inspire soul-searching—and ultimately lead you in an unexpected, more satisfying direction.” And your 20s are meant to be a time for finding that out.

4. Where You Want to Live for the Rest of Your Life

...let alone owning a home in that city. If you’re still renting your place, own it—er, be proud of it. This is probably the only time in your life you’re not going to be tied down by mortgage payments, a car, a partner, and/or kids. Move once (or twice). Check out new cities you may want to live in. Spend more time outside your apartment than you do in it. Unless you’re deeply in love with where you live (more power to you if so!), isn’t it more fun NOT to know where you’ll be in five, 10, or 20 years?

5. Running a Marathon

Or a triathlon or even a half-marathon. This is not a prerequisite you have to check off your life to-do list. Of course, if running, biking, or swimming is your thing, go for it. But there are plenty of other ways to work out that don’t involve losing toenails, peeing in a wetsuit, orexhausting yourself, physically and mentally. Move your body in a way that makes you feel good—that’s all that matters.

6. Starting a Side Business

Sometimes it sounds like everyone has a side gig or passion project they work on after their 9-to-5. While there are definitely advantages to pursuing your passion outside of your day job, don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t quite found one yet. If you’d rather leave work, go home, and veg out in front of Netflix most nights, that’s your prerogative. And working hard at your day job—where they’re paying you to be fully present—is your no. 1 priority right now.

7. Your Faith

Maybe you grew up praying before every meal and going to church every Sunday. Maybe your parents couldn’t care less about religion. Either way, it’s now up to you to decide what type of role you want faith—in any higher power—to play in your life. In our 20s, many of us stray away from how our parents approached religion (and I bet your parents did the same thing). Whether you’ve gotten into mindful meditation, you still go to Bible studies, or you’ve stopped thinking about faith altogether, whatever you believe in is your choice. Just keep the faith you’ll figure it all out.

8. Cooking Fancy Meals

While we’re all about learning kitchen basics, if cooking just isn’t your thing, don’t beat yourself up about it. Knowing how to make pasta or the perfect boiled egg are nice skills to have, but don’t feel like you need to throw together four-course dinner parties for your friends every weekend. You’ll have plenty of time later in life to brush up on your knife skills.

9. The Right Balance Between Your Relationships

Your third decade of life may start in college, where you’re surrounded by friends day and night. By the end of it, some people will have settled down with just one person, maybe for life. In between, there will be periods of reveling in your glorious singledom as well as those crazy-in-love times when you can’t leave your S.O.’s side. Both are perfectly fine and normal, but finding the exact ratio of time to give your love interests, your friends, and your family is a giant balancing act that takes time to figure out. True friends will stick with you through it all (and call you out for being MIA when they haven’t seen you in weeks).

10. Allllll of Your Finances

There are a few things you should know about managing money in your 20s, but if you aren’t actively investing in the stock market or are still paying off student loans, it’s OK. (In fact, it’s probably smart to be wary of that app idea your friends think up one night at a bar.) While it’s great to sock some money away in a 401(k) if your company offers one, don’t sweat it if not. Just be sure to save some money, whether it’s in an IRA or a savings account!

11. Designing the ~Perfect~ Home or Apartment

Truth: IKEA furniture rocks. (My couch and coffee table from that magical place still look good after almost six years.) So do picture frames and towels from Target. Whether you’re still in the roommate stage or living solo, you don’t need to have fully decked-out digs with pricey furniture and original artwork. Make your place as cozy and livable and cute as you’d like—there are plenty of ways to do that for almost no money. And be grateful if you don’t have to deal with a mortgage and yard maintenance (yet).

12. Exactly What You Want to Do in Life

Here’s a little secret: No one really knows what they’re doing—especially in their 20s. No, it’s not a throwaway decade, but it’s also not a race. Take the time to figure out what you really, really want in life and work toward it, but don’t freak out if you don’t haven’t achieved all the things you thought you would’ve by some made-up milestone. You only have one life, and it’s way too short to spend beating yourself up.
12:12:00 - By Vincent 0

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