Posts tonen met het label moments. Alle posts tonen

zaterdag 3 september 2016

Comfort zone challenge 9. Selfies with 3 random people

14:20:00 - By Vincent 0

zondag 21 augustus 2016

7 ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO EVALUATE YOUR LIFE EVERY DAY

By Chris Guillebeau

As regular readers know, I’m all about setting goals and working toward big projects over time. When you have a big goal, especially one with a clear end point, it’s easy to know when you’ve achieved it. But most big goals take time, and—as I’ve been learning—our lives consist of more than just a series of work-oriented projects that occupy our time.

No, to truly define success, we need to think of both these long-term goals and the actions we take every day. We also need to ensure our lives are in proper order. The challenge lies in the middle: how do we accomplish all of this?

Therefore, it may be more helpful to create an alternative method of evaluating ourselves as we go along. Here are seven different ideas to consider.

1. At the end of the day, ask yourself, “Did today matter?”

Sure, you could spend a long time thinking back on your to-do list and reviewing your calendar. And what were all those emails about? But when you ask yourself this question, chances are you’ll know the answer intuitively.

Did today matter? If so, great. Do more things like it tomorrow. Can’t remember anything in particular that made a difference? Well, better change it up.

(Hat tip: Gemma Stone.)

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2. Define success at the outset of every day, or (even better) the night before.

Before you hit the ground running, take a few moments in meditation or thoughtfulness to decide what you’d like to see happen by the end of the day. Again, be sure to prioritize: it would be great to make a ton of progress on everything, but you probably won’t. What’s most important? What is realistic to achieve?

“Man is a success when he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night. And in between, does what he wants.” -Bob Dylan

Making this decision has a side benefit. In addition to helping you focus, when you’re able to hit that definition of success, you have an automatic answer to the question of “Did today matter?” Of course it mattered, because you did what you said you would.

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3. Use ActionAlly to remind yourself of your 2-3 priorities.

My long-time friend and genius developer Nicky Hajal recently created a new tool called ActionAlly, which is software for your Mac (no Windows version yet, sorry) that will remind you throughout the day of the 2-3 things you’ve selected as most important in your life.

ActionAlly is very different from most productivity tools. Instead of helping you do more, it will actually help you do less–but do it better. Whoa, what a concept.

You can get a free 7-day trial and see for yourself.

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4. Do that thing that you’ve been putting off.

Procrastinators, unite! Or on second thought, let’s wait until tomorrow.

There’s one sure-fire way to get that thing done that you’ve been putting off: do it before you do anything else. Don’t let yourself answer any email, begin work on something new, or even—shock and awe—have your first cup of coffee or tea before doing that dreaded thing.

I know, it’s complicated. And when there’s something you’re really avoiding, you very well may want to resist it. But this method works.

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5. Create new metrics.

I use metrics to measure a lot of my business goals. How are product sales going? How’s the blog—who’s reading, and who’s visiting?

When I was going to every country in the world, I had an easy metric: the number of countries I’d visited, cross-referenced against the total number of existing countries (I’m at 193/193 now, which is… fun).

But these metrics, as appropriate as they are to these kinds of goals, aren’t comprehensive for our whole lives. So if you’re seeking harmony or just a different way to stay on track with all aspects of your life, maybe you need some new metrics.

Here’s a new habit for me: “Every day in 2015 I will write or call one friend.” The habit correlates with an easy metric: How many days did I practice this habit?

I started two weeks before the end of 2014, and so far I’m doing great. As with writing 1,000 words a day, I may miss a day once in a while, but the point is that it’s a habit—if I get off track, I’ll find my way back.

I asked on Twitter if anyone else had an unconventional way of measuring daily success. I especially liked these two answers:

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6. Increase your units of momentary happiness.

I wrote about units of momentary happiness after reading Springboard by G. Richard Shell. The concept is simple, yet valuable: think of those times when you actively felt happy. Do more of them.

How many times did you feel happy today? Where did those moments come from? How can you have more of them?

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7. Answer two questions at the outset of every day.

If the idea of defining success proves elusive, or you just don’t want to think of your top 2-3 priorities, take a different approach and ask yourself these two questions at the start of the day:

How are you feeling?
What do you want?

Take the time to actually write down your answers, even if it’s just a short sentence or two for each or a quick set of words and phrases that make sense to you. Throughout the day, whenever you have a choice of how to spend your time, think back on your answers. Perhaps the best solution will spring to mind, or at least orient you in the right direction.

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What do you think of these ideas? Have anything to add?

SOURCE

17:00:00 - By Vincent 0

dinsdag 16 augustus 2016

A Guide to Saying I Love You for the First Time

By KIMBERLY MENEO

Contrary to the deep belief in university “hookup culture,” college is the time when many students enter into serious, long-term relationships. With new relationships that start to get serious, there is always that one thing that results in many questions – the “L- word.” You question yourself – When is the right time to say it? And you question your boyfriend/girlfriend – What if they don’t say it back? It is stressful, but there are simple things to keep in mind to make saying i love you seem less scary.

Don’t rush it.

Perhaps the most common oversight new couples face is mistaking love with lust. “I love you” is a statement that holds a lot of meaning and promise, so don’t make the mistake of saying it too soon. Doing so could cause your partner to doubt the sincerity of your love. Waiting to say ‘I love you’ is never a bad thing– it shows you have the maturity to really contemplate how you are feeling and what you are promising to your significant other when you say it.

Put actions before words.

Anyone can say they love someone, but love is shown better than it is told. Think about the way you treat that person, and how you act around them. This can be a true test to see how you’re really feeling. Are you happier around them? Do you want to do all that you can to make them happier? As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Pay more attention to actions, rather than words. If they say it first, you might be able to tell if it’s sincere by the way they treat you.

Be yourself.

When you tell someone you love them, you are opening yourself up to that person. Do not use alcohol or any other type of drug to help you speak your mind. (This also goes for sexually charged situations and unusually emotional circumstances.) Doing so will only send a bad message. In a successful relationship, both partners should be able to talk about their feelings openly and confidently. Saying ‘I love you’ for the first time sets a precedent for how you will handle your emotions and trials later in the relationship.

Being afraid to say it is normal.

Many times, people wait for their boyfriend or girlfriend to say the words first. Even though you’re totally sure how you feel, you’re not as sure about how your bae feels. It means more when they say it because you know they feel the same way you do, so you wait. You find yourself whispering to yourself when you and your partner are having a moment – “say it, say it, say it” – but they don’t. Even though you want to shout it from the rooftops, you still wait for them to say it first because you don’t know what the reaction will be. Will they say it back? What if they’re freaked out? But, what if they do say it back? You’ll never know until you build the courage.

Being afraid to say it is normal.

Many times, people wait for their boyfriend or girlfriend to say the words first. Even though you’re totally sure how you feel, you’re not as sure about how your bae feels. It means more when they say it because you know they feel the same way you do, so you wait. You find yourself whispering to yourself when you and your partner are having a moment – “say it, say it, say it” – but they don’t. Even though you want to shout it from the rooftops, you still wait for them to say it first because you don’t know what the reaction will be. Will they say it back? What if they’re freaked out? But, what if they do say it back? You’ll never know until you build the courage.

What if they don’t say it back?

One of the biggest fears people face is the worry that their partner won’t say ‘I love you’ back. If they don’t say it back, it’s super awkward, but no matter what happens after the fact, you know that you were honest with them, and more importantly with yourself. On the off chance they don’t feel the same way, perhaps the relationship wasn’t meant to be. If they can’t imagine loving you in the future, they clearly were not the right match for you. However, some people just need more time to sort through their feelings to understand where they are in a relationship, and that’s okay (See Tip 1). Telling someone you love them is one of the highest forms of compliment, and no one should ever belittle you for being honest about how you feel. How they react is a telling tale of the kind of person they are when things turn serious.

Although saying ‘I love you’ for the first time can certainly feel like free falling, taking the time to understand how and why you truly feel the way you do can make those three words much easier to say out loud. However, no matter how much preparation you do, it is likely that when in the right relationship, speaking your mind to your partner will come easily, and the moment will just feel right – much like the moment when you first kissed. Cue the butterflies.

SOURCE

14:09:00 - By Vincent 0