NEVER-ENDING CONTRIBUTION, How to give even in times of scarcity

By Tony Robins

When you think of your life, do you think about what’s missing? Or do you think about what you have?

If you always think about what you don’t have, you will tend to hold on to everything that you do have, because you feel that you have so little and thus not much to give. But listen to Tony as he explains how giving in times of extreme discomfort, when you feel “lack” and not abundance, can be the most valuable.

13:34:00 - By Vincent 0

5 Paradigms You Didn’t Even Know You Had

By Bob Proctor,

I have a paradigm.

So do you.

To continue to grow, though, we must lead ourselves outside of our paradigms.

The following are five common, but often subtle, paradigms that affect the outcome of our lives. Take a look to see which ones might be shaping your life.

1. Paradigm: Everything is fine.

Life isn’t a struggle, but it’s not anything to write home about either. You’ve accepted that this is the best you’re going to get in life. Maybe because you’ve settled or you feel you don’t deserve more.

Or perhaps you just haven’t invested the time to think about what you truly want. Without a goal to pull you forward, you’ve resigned yourself to the status quo.

This paradigm is pervasive; however, it is subtly different for everyone. So don’t automatically push it aside if, at first blush, you don’t think it applies to you. Sit with it for a while to see if anything comes up.

Breakthrough Perspective: I am happy, but not satisfied.

Just like a seed in the ground wants more sunlight, nutrients and water, we all have a natural desire to grow and evolve.

The law of our being is to know more, to do more and to be more. Each time we achieve something, another desire for even greater good develops naturally—if we allow it to.

As you’ll see in just a minute, adopting a new perspective is about telling your truth. In this case, it’s acknowledging that you’re actually not satisfied with “good enough.” You want an extraordinary life; you want more for yourself and the world.

2. Paradigm: I’ve reached my income limit.

You reached a particular financial position and no matter how hard you work or what you do, your income pretty much stays the same. You feel stuck and can’t figure out how to get over this financial hurdle.

Breakthrough Perspective: I am excited about my financial future.

You can earn more money than you’ve ever dreamed of. However, you can’t do it by talking about, thinking, or feeling there’s a ceiling on your income.

Dwelling on your stagnated income only brings more stagnation. The Universe responds to what you believe.

Increased income can come only from right and positive thinking, and well-conceived and properly executed plans.

Start by getting a sheet of paper and writing down all the negative beliefs you have about money and your ability to earn more of it. Then, let those beliefs go by shredding or burning the paper.

Re-direct your mind to develop a prosperity consciousness, and the money you desire will be yours.

3. Paradigm: My best days are behind me.

Many people, particularly in their 40s and beyond, feel like they’ve already accomplished what they can, and there is not enough time left for them to start a new career, relationship, improve their health, or accumulate money.

This belief system will hit home for you if, on some level, you have given up on your goals. You may have a “why bother” kind of attitude.

Breakthrough Perspective: My best years are yet to come.

In The 100-Year Lifestyle, Dr. Eric Plasker says that your body has the hardware to live 100 years and beyond.

If you knew you’d live to 100, how would you change your life? Would you still feel you’ve already accomplished everything you can?

Our life span is increasing all the time. Expect to be prosperous, happy and healthy for 100 years and beyond. Adopting this new perspective does nothing but good for your life today and in the years to come.

I’m nearly 82 years old, and I have huge goals and more energy than many 30-year-olds. And I don’t plan to slow down anytime soon.

So if you feel like your best days are behind you, stop wasting your life and get back in the game. Get ready for your next big thing!

4. Paradigm: I am unlovable.

You feel lonely and believe you’ll never find a loving partner. You might think that if you had someone who loved you, your life would be a lot better.

Or maybe you’re very outgoing and have a great sense of humor, but inside you’re sad and lonely because you secretly feel you’re unlovable. You might go in and out of relationships because you often settle for the first person who shows interest.

Perhaps you believe you’re unlovable because you are overweight, and the number on the scale determines your value as a human being. You might think nobody wants to be burdened with someone your size.

Breakthrough Perspective: I love myself, and that love comes back to me multiplied.

You have the freedom to feel any way you want about yourself. So why would you want to belittle yourself?

If you feel unlovable in any way, create a new image of yourself and become emotionally involved with that image by, as often as possible, thinking and FEELING what it be like to be that person.

Your subconscious mind can’t distinguish between what’s real and imaginary, so get very clear about the image you want of yourself.

As you go through your day focus only on what you want (love, happiness, health). Also, develop a new way of speaking to yourself and others. Otherwise, you will sabotage yourself with negative self-image dialogue.

5. Paradigm: I need the world’s approval.

Whenever you want to do something new, you look outside of yourself for validation.

You seek approval, appreciation, acknowledgement and guidance from your employer, co-workers, friends, clients or parents. Or you look at conditions and circumstances to prove that you’re on the right path.

This paradigm is often hard to see because most of us naturally sell our abilities short. Take an honest look at your life to see if you need outside approval before going for goals or taking on new things.

Breakthrough Perspective: Spirit guides me at all times.

Religious texts tell us that we were created in God’s image, and we are “a little lower than the angels.”

So if you think your desires aren’t important, or you have an image in your mind of yourself as doomed to fail, that’s a false idea that you must let it go.

When you have a strong desire to do, create, or express something, that longing is divine discontent. It’s Spirit calling you. And if you answer the call, you will be guided and assured of success.

No matter how many of these paradigms you can relate to, you can shift to a new way of thinking.

What happens when you change your perspective

What do you see when you look at the illustration below?

At first, you might see a young lady. However, if you shift your perspective, you’ll see an old woman.

Whatever you perceive to be true about the illustration (i.e., it’s a young lady or an old woman) affects how you think, feel and respond to it.

That’s the power of accepting a new perspective of your paradigm.

Now I would love to hear from you.

SOURCE

13:50:00 - By Vincent 0

THE SIMPLE JOYS ARE THE MOST MEANINGFUL

By Mark Manson

The cute Brazilian girl in the cell phone store looks up at me and sputters a series of syllables in my general direction. She’s been fiddling with my phone for 15 minutes now, the phone I just bought for twice as much as I would have paid in any other country. Now she can’t get it to work. Explanation is pending, at least until I decipher the Portuguese syllable soup she continues to vomit at me.

I’m frustrated, if you didn’t notice.

“Não entendo,” I reply, for probably the twelfth time. It means “I don’t understand.” One of the only Portuguese phrases I know.

The coy smile she had given me the first few times I said it are now replaced with an aching impatience. She frowns at me, then at the phone, and then sighs. She pulls out a Post-It note, scrawls some Portuguese on it, hands it to me along with my dysfunctional new phone and slowly instructs me to go to another store in the mall and have them deal with it. She has to repeat these instructions three times before I understand them. This is the fourth cell phone store I am being sent to. Apparently there are a lot of bureaucratic procedures involved with buying a cell phone in Brazil, the details of which are obviously sailing clear over my head. And since none of the store clerks speak English, they’ve all eventually reached a breaking point, lost patience and sent me down to the next store to be somebody else’s headache.

The entire process has taken close to three hours… and it’s still not over. The mall cell phone nightmare continues.

(Although to be honest, it should have only been about an hour-and-a-half, I fell asleep in the Claro store waiting for a customer service rep to call my number. I awoke 45 minutes later to find they had proceeded to half a dozen customers beyond me. I strained to convince the rep to take me next since I had been there an hour. But my Portuguese persuasion skills weren’t very effective… OK, since we’re being honest right now, they were non-existent. I couldn’t say a thing, and therefore I hardly raised a fuss. Thus I took a new number and sat my ass back down, this time forcing myself to remain awake for the ensuing 30 minutes I would wait… again.)

I never resolved my cell phone issue that day. I finally found an old man in the mall who spoke English and was kind enough to come translate for me — yes, I walked around a Brazilian mall randomly approaching people to find someone to translate for me. It turns out that Brazil requires an identification number to activate any cell phone bought within the country, the equivalent of having a Social Security Number in the US to buy a cell phone. There’s a formal process that’s required and if you’re a foreigner and don’t work for a Brazilian company, then you’re screwed (unless you can get a friend to come in and register your phone under their name). As is probably obvious, I did not have any Brazilian friends with me. So almost four hours after arriving, I left the mall, having paid too much for a phone I still couldn’t use.

…And then got lost going home.

This was my first day in Sao Paulo. And I would be lying if I said days like this were rare. They don’t happen that often, but with enough regularity that the seething frustration, the awkward self-consciousness, the mental exhaustion, and the unavoidable sense of isolation, they’ve all become familiar to me now.

Today, internet entrepreneurship is the latest rage. Attachment-free mobile living is the new dream. And you don’t have to look much further than the 4 Hour Work Week to see the romanticization of such a post-modern lifestyle.

But as with any lifestyle, there are strengths and weaknesses to it. It’s not all a bed of roses. You sacrifice some things to gain others. And don’t worry, I’m not here to complain about every trying moment I’ve come across in two-and-a-half years of traveling. There have been far, far, far more good days than bad. And I would not take back a single life decision I’ve made.

But I do want to paint a realistic picture of what this lifestyle entails, the highs with the lows. And posit that perhaps the biggest difference between this lifestyle and a conventional one, is simply that the highs are higher and the lows lower, thus reorienting what one values spending their time on.

Because this is what you don’t hear, and that Tim Ferriss would never tell you: that day after the Brazilian cell phone debacle, after finally finding my way back to my hotel at dusk, I went and sat in my room by myself. Without TV. Without Wifi. No movies. No friends (not like I’d be able to call them anyway). Nothing to do. I went home and laid in bed for most of the evening. Physically and mentally drained and miserable.

And alone.

There’s nothing new about a bad day. We all have them. And we all have our own strategies to unravel our negative emotions. Sometimes we call up a friend and unload on them, perhaps over beers. Or we call up mom or dad and look for a little reassurance. Maybe we put on a movie with our significant other and just forget about everything for a few hours. Or maybe we hit the gym or take it out on a basketball court.

But life on the road, it’s quite often that you don’t have any friends to have beers with, you can’t call a parent and lean on them for some support, you don’t have a movie to watch or someone to curl up with, no gym membership, no basketball court. Often you have to take the brunt of your emotions alone, with nothing to distract you from them.

And it’s hard. But it makes you stronger, more mentally resilient, more centered. When you do eventually bounce back, life feels much lighter. And those joyous experiences you feel in contrast to the dark and lonely ones become that much better. In fact, I’ve found that the stark contrast between highs and lows has actually begun to redefine what those joyous moments are.

Some of my happiest memories from last year were going out and just having beers with some friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Something which I did weekly for years and years prior to this new lifestyle and that was always available to me.

It’s a bizarrely paradoxical effect on one’s emotional life: the extreme highs and novelty of experience render certain “exciting” activities to feel meaningless, and the extreme lows of isolation and frustration make many “normal” activities feel exciting and fulfilling. A Fourth of July parade looks a lot different after you’ve been to Carnaval in Brazil (twice) and stayed up three days straight partying in Ibiza. And I’ll give you a hint: it becomes really boring.

A road trip to the beach back home seems silly in comparison to living on the beach in Thailand, or taking surfing lessons in the swells of Bali. In many ways, you become jaded to your former life.

But on the other hand, the dark times of loneliness, depression, frustration, and isolation make other routine daily events of life — events which you and everyone else take for granted — that much better and more significant.

Last year, I got terribly sick in a rural town in India — possibly the last place on earth you would want to be sick. I had a scorching fever, cold chills and a headache that jackhammered the inside of my skull. I ran out of potable water at about 10PM, and the only stores in town had closed down for the night. I laid in bed through the entire night, unable to sleep due to fever and sweats. No medicine. Dehydrated and incredibly thirsty. And just to make things more interesting, a few hundred bugs swarmed into the room and were now crawling and buzzing around the walls, and occasionally on me.

Mom’s Christmas dinner tastes a lot better after an experience like that.

Which I guess is what the paradox resolves into: a devaluing of superficial pleasures and a greater appreciation for simple, authentic ones. I don’t really enjoy the presents at Christmas anymore, the fireworks at fourth of July, or even the parties on New Year’s Eve. I’ve seen bigger parties, been to more beautiful places, and already own everything I’ll ever want in this life. But unlike before, I appreciate every day spent with those who mean a lot to me. A quiet beer on a patio. Watching a basketball game together. Going to a birthday party or a barbecue. These are the events I look forward to now and get excited about, days and weeks ahead of time… And that’s probably the way it should be.

12:28:00 - By Vincent 0

Active Listening, Master This Skill and Master Communication

By Nurse Jon's

Active listening is a communication style that allows a listener to confirm what they are hearing is what the speaker intended. It is listening with a purpose. It is listening and repeating back to the speaker what was said.

When people speak to us we often will be distracted, thinking of other things, or selectively listening. Often we will be formulating an answer to what we are going to say as someone else is speaking.

The human mind can comprehend up to 600 words per minute reading. We listen at a rate of 300 per words per minute. We only speak at 100-175 words per minute. Considering that 85% of what we learn is from listening and we listen faster than others can speak, there is a lot of room for our minds to go elsewhere.

By learning to live actively we can get the improve the ability to get information, better communicate, and understand what others are saying. The key to actively listening is in the repeating.

Repeat What Was Said

Actively listening involves focusing on the speaker, what is being said. Additionally consideration is given to the ideas and emotions behind the words used and what is really meant. Then the listener repeats in their own words what they understood the speaker said and meant.
If there is any misunderstanding it can be cleared up at this point. The speaker can add further dialogue to explain what they want conveyed.
Try this... if you want to learn to concentrate on what others are saying, try repeating what they say as they say it. At the least paraphrase what they are saying as they say it. This will help prevent selective listening. This will focus your attention and help you concentrate on what is being said.
There are several ways to practice this. Watching TV and the people speaking there allows a wide diversity of speakers. News commentators on the Radio. Finally, those you work with. To do this, repeat what they are saying quietly and mentally to your self.

Include Feelings

In addition to repeating what was said, the facts and ideas, the active listener can include the feelings noted from the speakers words.
Feelings can be discerned from both body language, tone and intonation. They can also be noted from the words used.
The feelings reveal the motivation of the speaker.

Active Benefit

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13:30:00 - By Vincent 0