How to Stop Worrying – 8 Simple Tips to Help You

by Remez Sasson

What are worries?

These are nagging thoughts about something you fear might happen. If you pay attention to these thoughts, they would grow stronger and attract similar thoughts, and in no time, the fear would grow and occupy your mind and affect your behavior and even your health.

If you allow these thoughts to fill your mind, they would grow stronger, deprive you of peace, and make you unhappy.

Worries start as thoughts, but soon negative emotions get involved.

If you do not stop the worries the moment they start, they turn into a self-perpetuating cycle of negative thoughts, negative mental images and negative emotions.

According to Wikipedia:
“Worry refers to the thoughts, images and emotions of a negative nature in which mental attempts are made to avoid anticipated potential threats. As an emotion it is experienced as anxiety or concern about a real or imagined issue.”

According to Merriam Webster:
“To think about problems or fears: to feel or show fear and concern because you think that something bad has happened or could happen.”

Is it possible to stop worrying?

Yes, you can stop worrying, or at least, eliminate most of your worries.

I would like to offer you a few tips to help you stop worrying. Reading them is great, but practicing what you read is more important.

I would like to ask you a question, what about not creating worries at all, instead of creating them, and then practicing tips to stop them?

Yes, this is possible, but this requires some inner work on your part. Are you ready to invest some time and effort in this worthy goal?

When there is more inner peace, worries will find hard to get into your mind. In this situation, a mental state of no-worries will become natural, and you will not need tips to stop worrying.

A peaceful mind does not create worries. When there is inner peace, worries go away.

Okay, here are a few tips that I hope you will find useful.

How to Stop Worrying

1. It is easier to eliminate worries when they just start, than after they grow stronger. Try to be aware of the thoughts that pass through your mind and when you feel that worries are starting to build up, do one of the following:

• Read an inspiring or funny book.
• Read a few inspiring quotes and think about their meaning. You can find a collection of quotes in the quotes directory here.
• Work out or engage in any kind of sport to take your mind away from the worries and not let them grow.

Get busy with any activity that you love doing. You may, for example, watch a movie, read a book, take a walk or meet friend.

2. Analyze them to find how real they are. Often, they are just unreal fears that create unnecessary stress and anxiety. Often, there is no reality behind them. There is no reason to let them trouble you if they are not real, but only imaginary.

If they are real, instead of worrying, look for ways to deal with their causes. Sometimes, you have to do just a few changes in your life to eliminate their causes.

3. Often, thinking about what is the worst that can happen, if the worries are true, will reveal that it is something not so scary, which you can deal with it. This would make you feel better.

4. Ask yourself, how many of your worries came true. The mind moves from one worry to another. Therefore, many worries do not receive enough attention to grow strong enough affect your life.

5. Do you worry about what people think of you? Can you read their minds and know exactly what they think? No, you don’t, and it is quite possible that they don’t think about you at all, and you just get concerned in vain.

Often, we arrive at the wrong conclusions and wrongly interpret people’s behavior and reactions. This creates unnecessary suffering about things that are not real at all.

6. When you feel weak, hungry or tired, worries arise more easily. Therefore, in these situations, give yourself some rest, eat or drink something and get some sleep. Afterwards, it would be easier to deal with what is troubling you.

7. Stop what you are doing, and ask yourself, “What can I do right now to stop worrying?” Try, even though it night not always easy, to detach yourself from the negative thoughts in your mind. Think of ways that can free your mind, at least temporarily, from these thoughts.

8. I know that meditation is not everyone’s cup of tea. However, it can help you stop worrying and start living a more peaceful life. Simple meditation, for a few minutes can help. Of course, you need to train yourself with meditation for some time, before getting results.

Remember, worries are thoughts, and you can refuse to pay them attention. Your attention give them life and strength, and if you deny them of your attention (which is possible, but not always easy to do) they will grow weaker and leave you.

SOURCE

13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

You Cannot Always Change Situations, but You Can Change Your Attitude

by Remez Sasson

I am sure that there are certain situations and circumstances in your life that you would like to change. Often, it is quite simple to make changes, but we let laziness, procrastination or fear to stand in our way.

You might be surprised to hear that many of the changes you would like to make are within you reach, and often, within your immediate reach.

For example, you might always complain that you have no time to read. If reading is so important to you, what’s so difficult to arrange your day so that you can find the time? You can always get up half an hour earlier in the morning, or give up half an hour of watching TV in favor of reading a book.

Do you want to learn a foreign language, swim twice a week or arrange your wardrobe? These are simple to accomplish goals, but you might always seek excuses why you don’t have the time for them. You simply do not give them any priority, and prefer to stick to your comfort zone.

Sometimes, we might encounter situations and circumstances that we are unable change. What should we deal with such situations?

If you cannot change a situation, accept it, and learn to live with it. Sure, this requires a certain degree of self-discipline and inner strength.

You might complain, resent the situation and the people involved and be unhappy. This would not help change the situation, and you will be creating suffering and unhappiness for you.

You cannot always change a situation or circumstances, but you can change your attitude toward it.

Changing external situations and circumstances might not always be possible, but changing your attitude is possible.

Read this sentence several times and try to remember it. You cannot always change situations and circumstances, but you can certainly learn to change your attitude. Instead of feeling resentful, frustrated and unhappy, you can learn to be calm, accept the situation, and not fight with it. You can try to look at the situation dispassionately, and try to find out what you can learn from it.

• Are there people you cannot get along with at work?
• Do you have neighbors you do not like?
• Is your boss too demanding?

Will you leave your job or go live somewhere else because of that?

Often, by accepting the situation, it will stop bothering you, or a solution might come along.

Various situations and circumstances could be lessons you need to learn, and after learning and acknowledging the lessons, the situations and circumstances will start to change.

If you accept what you cannot change and learn to live with it, it will stop to be an issue and stop to bother it.

When you accept what you cannot change, you save yourself a lot of energy and time, and can devote your time to better things than thinking about the situation you cannot change.

When you accept what you cannot change, sometimes, even without any effort on your part, as if miraculously, things start to change and improve.

Some people might misinterpret what I said and think that accepting situations means giving up. Others might regard acceptance as an excuse for laziness and doing nothing. This is far from the truth. Acceptance of situations that you cannot change is wisdom and not passivity, and has nothing with giving up and should not be an excuse for passivity.

You cannot change the past, and regretting and feeling bad about it is not going to change it. However, you can learn to stop dwelling on the past and move on.

If you don’t like one of your colleagues at work and you do not get along with him, anger and resentment would not help. However, you can try to be friendly and stop being resentful.

Suppose it is raining outside, but you need to go to work, go the grocery or meet friends. You cannot stop the train and you cannot fight the rain. Would you give up and stay at home, or wear a raincoat and go outside despite rain?

If it is very hot outside and you need to go somewhere, will anger and unhappiness change the weather? You can let thoughts about the weather to cause you suffering and unhappiness, and you can accept it and live with it.

When you change your attitude toward people, situations or circumstances they stop bothering you and they stop causing you suffering.

When you change your attitude, you start to feel better, you become happier, recognize opportunities to make changes, and on many occasions, the situations or circumstances you could not change, begin to change. By changing your attitude, situations and circumstances would start to change, as if by magic.

Are there any tools that can help you change your attitude? Yes, there are a few, such as repeating affirmations, practicing visualization and developing inner peace.

SOURCE

12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

How To Stay Focused To Achieve Your Goals

BY Harleena Singh 

Can you achieve your goals without staying focused? I don’t think so. Many people wonder how to stay focused and achieve success.

I think being focused is the ability to say that “I’m doing this work and nothing else, and no one can stop me from doing it”.

Well, learning how to focus is in-fact a matter of making it a daily habit, isn’t it? You cannot stop a person with a focused mind to do what he or she plans.

I’ve heard many people say that they start off well with good intentions, but become unfocused after a while. Don’t worry. You’re not the only one to feel this way.

Sometimes I also start a project, work a little on it, and then lose focus or get distracted, but not for long – as I take a little break and I’m back to work again, more focused than before.

Has this happened with you too? How do you remain alert and concentrate on your work? Let me know in the comments.

“Stay focused, go after your dreams and keep moving toward your goals.” ~ LL Cool J

How Successful People Remain Focused

You’ll mostly hear people say that they are not motivated and need to have enough passion to achieve goals. They feel only successful people have this kind of willpower and unstoppable passion, something that they lack.

But you know, even successful people get bored like you and me. They also sometimes lack motivation and need daily inspiration. They have also learnt how to rise up every time they fall.

The huge difference is that those who want to achieve goals don’t let their emotions influence their actions.

That’s right. Not only your disturbing emotions but also uncontrollable, useless, or unrelated thoughts might cause you to drift from what you’re doing and bring you out of focus.

But the successful lots find ways to work up through the boredom. They do all it takes to achieve their goals. It’s their capability to do the task when it’s not easy, and that is what separates them from others.

So, if you too want to be successful, then you need to follow the ways of the successful people to zero in on your target and stay focused.

Distractions are a major problem that does not allow people to stay focused. You cannot achieve goals if you are distracted. But who decides you have to stop where. No one, but you yourself!

Places like Facebook and other social media networks, or whether it is video games, TV, and text messages – they are all supposed to be used in moderation. You need to limit your time using them.

However, most people drown themselves into such distractions and make them their core activities, such that it leaves them no time to do other tasks in hand.

Being in focus is an uphill task for them.

Are you in a similar situation? Do you think you need to know how to stay focused and achieve your goals too? Then, this post is for you.

What You Need to Stay Focused

There are certain requirements for staying focused, and if you consider them, then attaining goals will not be a problem for you.

• Set Priorities

There might be many areas in your life that need attention. It becomes tough to decide which ones need immediate attention or where you need to focus first. That is because you want them ALL done now!

When you want to focus on a single task, it becomes tough to keep the other pending tasks aside. You begin feeling overwhelmed and feel you need to do all those task and be present all over.

That’s when you think that a quick Facebook or Twitter break will do you good, and you head there to check on your messages or notifications. And those ‘few minutes’ break turns to perhaps 1-2 hours!

Remember that whatever you do today will reflect on your life ahead. If you spend 1 hour on Facebook, for example, then you are setting that standard for yourself.

But what if instead you write 1000 words during that 1 hour you waste, imagine the amount you’d accomplish in a year’s time!

Writing nearly 365,000 words, that’s nearly writing a new blog post daily, or writing 4-5 full books in a year, if you had not wasted that 1 hour.

• Believe in yourself and your task in hand

You need to think positive to stay focused and achieve goals. If a task appeals to you, such that you are willing to take risk accomplishing it and don’t fear failure, it’s worthy of your undivided attention.

You need to move forward and make progress by believing in your abilities, in areas that matter to you. Once you accomplish one task, turn your focus on the next one and move ahead.

You might like – How To Boost Self Esteem in 8 Simple Ways

• Fight distractions

Distraction of home, work, family, friends, events and other things stop people from staying focused and achieving their goals.

It takes time and effort to remain focused to achieve goals that sometimes you give up.

You need to plan your task strategically. To stay on focus, decide on the best time to do your work. Chalk out the distractions that would arise and how you would react, and then deal with them.

Focus means to think strategically, and you need to remain committed and dedicated to be after one thing till the end at the cost of other possibilities.

Some people let distractions rule over them, but remember, you are distracted because you let yourself be distracted.

For example, if your friend calls or messages, your friend doesn’t know you are working on something.

Just let it be- end your tasks and then call back! If you explain, people understand that it’s your work time and you need to stay focused while working.

Start by keeping aside just one hour daily to focus on a main area of your choice. Train your mind to stay focused. You need to ‘make’ time for things that matter to you, isn’t it?

Take the example of Thomas Edison. He failed so many times before finally succeeding in inventing the lamp. But imagine if he hadn’t stayed focused on his goals – would he have achieved success?

He kept trying after each failure and remained focused till he achieved his goal.

• Accept that you may not achieve success

You’re only human and when you focus on any task, you pour all your energy into it. Your brain tells you it is an important task because you focus on a single idea, task, or thought.

However, sometimes you cannot achieve your goals despite being focused. Remember, focus does not guaranty success but only improves and increase your chances to be successful.

Also know that it is alright to accept this fact – face your failure and learn from it.

Don’t fear failure because that is your stepping stone to success. Remember, it’s ok to fail at times, and that doesn’t mean you stop trying. Being alert, aware, and determined helps you attain your goals.

“The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.” ~ Stephen Richards

People don’t focus on their goals because they are afraid. They hesitate, procrastinate, and think negative, and try ways to escape from doing things.

They don’t want to try things out, or move out of their comfort zones.

Achieving Your Goals is a Process

People think that achieving goals is the end result. For them success is an event that can be achieved.

For example, “If I write a book, I’d achieve success”, or “If I get featured in a magazine, I’d gain credibility.”
You forget that to write a book, you need to fall in love with the process of writing and keep writing daily!

But if you see people who consistently achieve their goals, you realize it’s not the event or end result that matter. Instead, it’s the journey, their commitment to the process – it’s a daily practice for them.

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” ~ Greg Anderson

So, don’t worry about the end result – fall in love with the journey, the boredom, the repeated process, the practice, the process and enjoy each moment. 

15 Ways to Stay Focused and Achieve Your Goals

Always keep your goals always in your mind. Yes, distractions are a part of life and you’ll find them everywhere. However, how you deal with those distractions lies in your hands.

“The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” ~ Bruce Lee

1- Organize Your Workplace

Whatever you are working at, you need to have a clean and well organized working area because that helps you remain focused and you can work with full concentration.

It doesn’t take long, just a few minutes to keep things in the right place before you start work. Things you don’t need or use, keep away.

It’s said a cluttered work area creates a clutter in the mind too, so keep things organized.

2- Find Your Purpose to Stay Motivated

When you have a purpose to end your task, your work will motivate you and thus help you concentrate.

Some people lose focus as they cannot see what they might achieve and prefer doing other things.

After finding your purpose, write it down – define it as that will be your driving force to achieve your goal.

For example, if you are blogging, remind yourself why it is important for you and what you want to achieve from it.

3- Define Your Goals

Define your goals by chalking out the number of hours you are going to work and make list of your priorities.

When you write them down, they become more real and can be reviewed and used to encourage you. This helps to take care of distractions as and when they come up and how you can deal with them.

Must Read – Creating A Life Plan Can Change Your Life

Don’t overburden yourself by focusing on more than a few goals at a time as it will demotivate you and reduce your chance of achieving your goals.

Divide your time and keep accomplishing them one by one.

Narrow down your focus by completing the goals based on the priority. By defining your goals you stay focused to complete them by the end of the day.

4- Learn to Manage Your Time

Once you define your goals and make your list, write down how much time it will take you to complete each task. You are your best judge, so be realistic and complete each task within the set time limit.

Don’t become overwhelmed with time consuming tasks. Instead, break them into small bits and complete each one, one at a time.

“My success, part of it certainly, is that I have focused in on a few things.” ~ Bill Gates

You would like this post on time management – 6 Easy Tips for Time Management You Need to Know

This way you will be focused on your task rather than spending it chit-chatting with friends or wondering where time went by!

5- Use Visualization

When you want to remain focused you need to have a strong visual image of what you want to achieve – your target, so that you can reach your goal by focusing on the end result.

The more you visualize what you want to obtain, the more you can focus on achieving it. Achievers have the ability to visualize their goals as already accomplished.

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” ~ Mark Twain

Imagine how your family and friends would react once you achieve your goals – that is the power of visualization.

6- Take Breaks In-between

As you work, your alertness reduces and you tend to get easily distracted. So, it’s good to work in shifts of 30 or 60 or 90 minute blocks, depending on what suits you. Set a timer and take frequent breaks.

You could take a short walk, listen to music, chat with friends, or cook and do the household chores.

Some people like to reward themselves by visiting Facebook, but for a limited time during such breaks. But don’t get stuck there! Come right back once the timer goes off 

7- Turn OFF Everything

When people ask me how to stay focused, I always tell them one thing – just turn off all your tabs, emails, phones, and everything around you.

When you sit to work – just concentrate on your work and nothing else. When you say yes to achieve your goals, you must NO to other things, isn’t it?

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

If you are working in an office, you can set up a time when you can take your calls, check emails, or make a system so that urgent messages can reach you. Other than that, just switch-off!

8- Learn To Say NO

This is a tough one for me! But to stay focused, you need to say, “No” to a lot of people and things.

When it’s work time, just say, “I’m sorry I cannot do that for you as I’m working on a deadline.”

I know how hard it is to say these lines. I sometimes postpone a response by saying, “Let me think it over and get back to you”. This avoids an outright NO or rejecting an offer.

“Focusing is about saying No.” ~ Steve Jobs

Remember, once you refuse politely, people understand and begin respecting your way or working. Of course, help out and do their work once you complete your task.

9- Make Time for Distractions

Distractions aren’t bad, but you need to schedule them so they work for you. Use them to reward yourself after you achieve your goal or end your task.

Distractions like playing a game, calling friends, visiting Faceook or your other social networks are all good, provided you stick to your schedule and time yourself.

You need to learn to not get distracted by trying to practice mediation and focusing on single-tasking. For example, if you are reading the newspaper, just do that, don’t check your email or status update.

There are many apps to fight distraction you can use, without letting them become distractions!

10- Create New Habits

To focus and reach your goals do something that is repeated daily, even if it’s just for 10 minutes each day. Make it a daily habit and analyze your progress by recording it daily.

They say that it takes 21 days to create a new habit.

So, if you want to move from an old habit that you know is not letting you focus, to one that will help you, stick with the habit for 3 weeks to see a change.

When you do something consistently for so long, it becomes a part of your personality and you eventually keep doing it without really thinking of it.

11- Improve Your Focus

Some people get distracted easily. For such people, just take any task and give yourself half an hour to work on that task without taking any break.

Then slowly increase your time and focus by a few more minutes to see how long you can increase your stamina. Reading and writing continuously help in such cases.

I’ve learnt this over time and can sit for hours at a stretch, but I remind myself to keep getting up and walking a little after every hour. How about you?

12- Don’t Multi-task

You might think that multi-tasking helps you complete many tasks all at once. But that’s wrong as it just slows you down and confuses your brain.

You need to reset your brain each time you shift between two tasks. However, a lot depends on what all tasks you multi-task with.

Like cooking and listening to music is fine, but cooking and chatting on Facebook will not work. It might leave you with a burnt meal. 

13- Be With People Who Have Similar Goals

Sometimes you are surrounded by people who prevent you from achieving your goals. They prevent you from staying focused. It can be tough to breakaway because these people maybe your family or friends.

They may not share the same goals or be interested in your goals. You need to extend your circle and move from those who hold you back if you want to achieve goals in life.

Having goal buddies or friends who share the same goals as you, helps you remind about your goal and motivate you when you feel a little down.

14- Use Positive Affirmations

Stay away from negative self-talks. Instead, use positive affirmations and remind yourself about the goals you want to achieve.

Positive affirmations help you believe in yourself and stay focused. Writing down your goals in present tense helps in personal affirmations.

For example, instead of saying “I want to earn more money”, say “I earn $5,000 a month” would be better.

After writing, read your goals in a loud and firm voice as it would make you proud of what it will feel like to reach it, and ignite the passion to accomplish your goal.

Some people create and use mantras that are small phrases that you can repeat daily – they encourage and remind you to concentrate on your goals.

15- Take Care of Yourself

You cannot remain focused if you do not care about yourself and your health.

Taking adequate rest, sleeping for at least 7-8 hours a day, eating a balanced diet and staying healthy are things you need to do to stay focused.

Mediate and concentrate on your breathing. Deep breathe, stay calm, and serene. When you inhale and exhale and concentrate on your breath, you are able to focus better when you sit to work.

Give yourself a break if you work continuously to avoid burnout (good reminder for me!) because that affects your productivity a great deal.

Don’t forget to celebrate each achievement by acknowledging and rewarding yourself for the progress you’ve made towards your goal.

You’d like this short video on more ways to stay focused 

Four Keys to Staying Focused at Work ~ YouTube Video

Speaking of myself and my blog, when I look back, I don’t think I could have achieved all that I have – had I not been focused on my work.

I am not just saying this to praise myself here, but just to make you realize that if I can achieve my goals, you can achieve your goals too. All you need to do is stay centered, committed, and determined.

“Don’t dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.” ~ Denis Waitley

So, are you ready to start? I hope now you will not lose your focus, nor procrastinate or get caught up by distractions. Instead, remain focused and achieve goals one after the other.

Cheers to your success! 

Over to you –

Do you know how to stay focused to achieve your goals? What are the ways to you use to remain focused and attain goals? Share it in the comments.

SOURCE

13:30:00 - By Vincent 0

9 Mind Hacks for Avoiding Procrastination

By YUMI SAKUGAWA

Are you dreading a big, tedious task on your to-do list? Commit to only doing 10 minutes of it or only the very first minimal step. By lowering the hurdle for getting the task started, it is very likely that once you start doing it, you won't feel so bad about getting the rest of the task completed.

Another mind hack to avoid procrastination is to project how you will feel in the future when you complete the task, and compare it to how bad you will feel if you don't complete it. You can also scare yourself into getting the task done by projecting what you would be losing in your life (income, your job, your self-respect, etc.) by not getting it done.

SOURCE

12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

Coping With Chronic Worry

BY Kathariya Mokrue, PhD 

Worries are a fact of life. We all have thoughts like these: “Am I going to be late for a meeting?” “Should I accept this job offer?” “Did I eat too much?” “Is Mary angry with me?” “Am I on track for getting an A in this class?” and “Did I plan enough time for my husband and I to spend together on our trip?”

The fact is that worrying can be a useful activity: A student who worries about doing well on an exam is more likely to study than a student who doesn’t worry at all. Worries indicate you are invested in something, and they can motivate you to work toward your goal. Fortunately for most people, when worrying is unhelpful or interferes with their lives, they can usually put it aside.

But some people have worries that are incessant, pervasive, intrusive, unproductive — and difficult to turn off. Their worries are present from the moment they wake up until last minute of their day. This type of chronic worrying can negatively affect their daily functioning.

When this happens, it may be a disorder called GAD, or generalized anxiety disorder. Their worrying persists even when there is very little or no cause for worry. Many chronic worriers also suffer from irritable bowel syndrome, insomnia, hypertension, back pain, and other physical symptoms.

If chronic worrying is a problem for you, here are three things you can do to cope outside of your therapist’s office:

1. Train yourself to worry about a one thing at a specific time each day. If your worries pop up at any other time, gently remind yourself, “I’ll think about this at 4:30 p.m.” When that time arrives, think about your one worry.

2. Determine if your worry is productive or unproductive. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do in the next hour (or the next few hours, the next day) to address it. If so, great! If not, make a conscious effort to put it on the shelf. If you find yourself worrying about an exam you already took, put your worry aside. Tell yourself that you can’t do anything about it so worrying isn’t helpful right now. Then decide what you can do instead that will be more useful. Go for a walk, go to the gym, call a friend, etc.

You should know that your worry will jump from the shelf into your lap over and over again. Just don’t let it lie there; make yourself put it on the shelf again and again.

3. Learn mindfulness meditation and practice it daily. It will allow you to develop a different relationship to your thoughts and worries. Rather than reacting to worries as if they are reality, you will observe and be aware of them without letting the emotional content suck you in. Take five minutes each day to focus on something neutral such as your breathing or sounds, while staying aware of the worries that tug at your concentration. If your awareness drifts away from your “anchor,” notice where it goes and gently redirect your awareness back to the breathing or sounds. This trains your mind to remain aware when your worries begin to creep in and to let them go.

If you treat your worries as habits that you can train or as activities to limit, you can “get out of your head” and live your life more fully. Learn more about the symptoms of GAD, as well as treatment options or how to locate a therapist on the website of the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA): visit www.adaa.org.

SOURCE

12:30:00 - By Vincent 0