A Timeless Truth

By Bob Proctor,

While going through my files I came across a blurb from Catholic Digest written by Mary Kinsolving which is as relevant today as it was many years ago when it was written.  Ms. Kinsolving tells a story of living in Manhattan where, as a child, her mother walked her to school four blocks away every morning and then walked home with her again in the afternoon.  One hard winter her mother came down with pneumonia and Mary had to go to school and return home by herself.  She states that on the way home the second day she fell on some ice while crossing the street and at that moment a car skidded towards her and came within inches of her before it stopped.  "The driver helped me up," she said, "and I managed to get home but didn't tell my mother because I didn't want her to worry."

The next morning the streets were even icier and when she came to her first cross street she was terrified and stated that she stood at the intersection for a long time.  Finally, an elderly woman came over to her and said, "I don't see very well.  May I hold your hand when I cross the street?"  She replied, "Oh, yes," and the elderly lady took her hand and "before long we were on the other side."  Then Mary Kinsolving walked a short distance and looked back to see how the woman was doing.  To her surprise, "She was crossing the street we had just crossed together and was walking by herself much faster than we had before."  Ms. Kinsolving then realized that the lady had pretended poor eyesight only to help her cross the street.  Much later in life she understood that she could overcome her own fears by helping someone else.

What marvelous advice from years gone past!  Take that approach to life and I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

12:55:00 - By Vincent 0

Careful What You Leave

By Zig Ziglar

“The measure of a life, after all, is not its duration but its donation.”  Corrie Ten Boom

I love the story told by Glen Van Ekeren in his book, The Speaker's Source Book.  It was a hot, humid day in the middle of Kansas City.  The eight-hour shift seemed especially long for the veteran bus driver.  Suddenly, a young woman, apparently upset about something, let loose with a string of unforgettable, not to mention unrepeatable, words.  The bus driver, looking in his overhead mirror, could sense everyone around her was embarrassed by the string of profanity.  Still mumbling, the angry passenger began to disembark a few blocks later.  As she stepped down, the bus driver calmly said, "Madam, I believe you're leaving something behind."  She quickly turned and snapped, "Oh?  And what is that?"  "A very bad impression," the bus driver responded.

It has been generally recognized as truth that our first impression of a person is one we will hold for the longest time, and the last impression we have of that person is held almost as long.  It has been said that we generally make up our mind within a matter of seconds of meeting a person as to whether or not we're going to like them or even trust them.  Those few seconds are important and will affect our decisions regarding that person for a long time.

One of the best ways to make a good first impression is with a smile and a pleasant demeanor.  Yes, the first and last impressions are important, but over the long haul it's trust and character that determine the length and extent of most relationships.  Think about it.  Make good first impressions - make good last impressions, and in between be the right kind of person.  You'll collect an awful lot of friends and admirers.  Take that approach and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

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12:44:00 - By Vincent 0

Working Out, Success, and the Habit of Self-Discipline

by Remez Sasson

Yesterday, my daughter had to go to work earlier than usual, and since the gym where I work out is not far from her office, I decided to take her to work and then go to the gym.

At quite an earlier hour, the gym was already full with men and women of all ages, working out and exercising. I usually do not go to the gym at this early hour, and was surprised to see so many people. It seems that many go the gym to exercise before going to work. Some go the gym to lose weight, others to shape their body, and quite a great number like to pump iron and build their muscles.

I know how tough it is for most people to start exercising. Most people know it is healthy and good for their body, but they are too lazy to go to the gym, especially in the morning. They prefer to spend an extra hour in bed before starting their day. In the afternoon, they are too tired after work, and prefer to stay at home or go out to meet friends.

You need a good dose of self-discipline to go to the gym and to continue going, despite laziness and the inclination to procrastinate.

It is the same in all areas of life. It is the same when you need to run a task, carry out a decision or achieve a dream. There are laziness, procrastination and many excuses why it is not the right time.

Doing things requires effort, and often, we want to avoid this effort, even when we know that we would gain much by doing what we are trying to avoid.

Working Out and Discipline

Returning to the topic of the gym, when you first start working out, it is too difficult, and you might look for excuses not to work out. However, if you insist on going to the gym and exercising, after a while, you would start to like it. This usually happens after gaining results, when you see that you are losing weight, your body getting into a better shape, and you feel stronger and more energetic. This often awakens a strong motivation to continue.

When you look around you at the gym, you see people with shaped bodies and muscles. They did not get them by sitting on the couch watching TV. They got them because they had the self-discipline to go to the gym almost every day and workout.

Applying self-discipline to working out develops the habit of discipline, a habit that you would be able to use in all other areas of life.

The Habit of Discipline is a Requirement for Success

It is the same in every other area of life, when study a foreign language, develop a new skill or a new habit, and when you focus on achieving your dreams. It is tough at first, and you might not have enough motivation. However, with a little bit of self-discipline and perseverance you can overcome all obstacles. When you start to see results, everything becomes easier, because you your motivation and desire begin to grow.

Every achievement, small or big, needs self-discipline and the ability to continue, despite obstacles, failure or difficulties. Achieving success requires that you leave your comfort zone, laziness, and the tendency to procrastinate. This requires some inner strength, which you can develop, even if you lack it now.

Successful men and women possess the habit of discipline. Without this habit, you will not be able to control your behavior, avoid temptations and focus on a task until you complete it.

Every achievement requires long, sustained periods of focused effort on your goal. You need determination to persevere until you complete it.

As you see, you need a certain degree of self-discipline to get started. Fortunately, self-discipline is not difficult to develop. I have written many articles about this topic, and also a book with advice, instruction and simple, but effective exercises.

“Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.” – Dale Carnegie

You can easily develop the habit of self-discipline by practicing suitable exercises. You can find a few simple ones, to begin with, here. However, if you want to gain more power, and therefore, have more control of your life and habits, increase your chances of success, and live your life as you want, I recommend that you read the book Strengthen Your Willpower and Self Discipline.

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12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

5 LIFE LESSONS FROM 5 YEARS OF TRAVELING THE WORLD

By Mark Manson

Almost five years ago today, my apartment lease expired, I shipped a few boxes to my mom’s house, packed a suitcase to (hopefully) last me a few months, and took off across the Atlantic. I had less than $1,000 in my bank account.

The first stop was Paris, where, still reeling from breaking up with my girlfriend, selling all of my possessions, and maintaining an online business that was hardly making any money, I proceeded to sulk and gripe my way through the streets of La Ville-Lumiéretotally not appreciating what was around me.

Eventually, things got better though. And I moved on. Both from Paris and my own personal pity parade. I moved on to Belgium, then Holland, then Germany, then Prague. I moved back home again only to move on to South America a few months later. Then Southeast Asia after that, then Australia, then Central America, then Eastern Europe, and then South America again.

Over the span of five years, I moved on to 55 separate countries, dozens of new friendships, hundreds of fascinating people and experiences, and even picked up a couple languages along the way.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all misty-eyed and tell you how I discovered my true calling or how happy starving children in Africa really are if you could have just seen them playing with trash and shitting in buckets — they were soooooooo happy. I’m not going to get up my own ass with false self-importance. And I’m certainly not going to claim I “found myself” or something.

No. Traveling the world, like any life path you choose, has its ups and downs, its highs and lows, its pros and cons.

But I will say: picking up and leaving my life behind in 2009 and spending the past five years vagabonding about the planet was both one of the most challenging and rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. And I wouldn’t take it back.

Because you do learn a lot. About people, about the world, about life. You just don’t always learn what you expect to learn. Sometimes the lessons come at unwanted times and give you unwanted truths. Sometimes you learn things you can’t unlearn and see things you can’t unsee.

But regardless, you grow. Here are some of the lessons that I’ve learned and some of the ways I have grown.

1. HAPPINESS IS COMMON — HUMAN DIGNITY IS NOT

The stereotype of world travelers is the upper-middle-class college kid who goes to some random, third-world country, sees a bunch of poor, half-naked kids joyfully playing in sewage puddles with toys made out of string and broken sticks, and suddenly has the life-changing epiphany that, no, you do not in fact need an XBox 360 and 24-hour delivery from Dominos to be happy in this world.

Who would have thunk it?

It turns out, the human capacity for happiness is surprisingly flexible. Psychological research shows that people quickly adjust to their surroundings and are able to find joy in most situations, regardless of their culture, material wealth or political situation.

For this reason, traveling the world has lowered my estimation of happiness. When I left Boston back in 2009, my aims were somewhat hedonic: party a lot, meet interesting people, have crazy adventures. But over the years I’ve grown to see that “feeling good” in and of itself is often overrated.

I don’t mean to be a stick in the mud. Happiness is important, sure. But it’s also common and can be found in most situations once your mind adjusts to your surroundings. You can find happiness in any slum or in any mansion, on the beach, in the mountains, or in the middle of the desert.

But what is rare in many parts of the world is human dignity. You know, people who aren’t treated like animals — used, ignored, cheated, beaten, mutilated, silenced, or suppressed. Again, not to be a stick in the mud, but those happy kids playing in sewage pipes and shitting in buckets will be lucky to make it to middle age without serious violence, addiction or health problems in their lives.

In American culture, we are so fixated on feeling good all of the time, it seems we sometimes forget that there are more important things in the world than being happy or entertained. Traveling has shown me that there are things that are more important than pleasure or happiness. And it’s made me far more conscious of a lot of the injustices and cruelties that go on not just around the world, but here in our own backyard, without us necessarily taking much notice.

Again, not getting on my soapbox or anything. These realizations have actually made me happier overall. Ironically, it’s by making these other values — community, connection, self-expression, honesty — more important than my own gratification that my happiness and fulfillment happen naturally as a side effect.

That and 24-hour Dominos delivery.

2. WORLD TRAVEL GIVES YOU GREATER PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE, BUT IT LIMITS YOUR ABILITY TO COMMIT TO THINGS

The beauty of traveling around the world is that it allows you to get altitude.

No, I don’t mean airplane altitude.

I mean it allows you to get a big-picture perspective on things, to see the various ways cultures mesh and collide with one another and how the different streams of history have eroded and hardened each country’s social structures into their respective places.

You realize that much of what you believed to be unique in your home country is often universal, and that much of what you thought was universal is often specific to your home country.

You realize that humans are by and large the same, with the same needs, the same desires and the same awful biases that pit them haplessly against each other.

You realize that no matter how much you see or how much you learn about the world, there’s always more — that with every new destination discovered, you become aware of a dozen others, and with every new piece of knowledge obtained, you only become more aware of how much you really don’t know.

You realize that you will never be able to explore or encounter all of these destinations. Because you realize that the more you spread the breadth of your experience across the globe, the thinner and more meaningless it becomes.

You realize that there’s something to be said to limiting oneself, not just geographically, but also emotionally. That there’s a certain depth of experience and meaning that can only be achieved when one picks a single piece of creation and says, “This is it. This is where I belong.”

Perpetual world travel literally gives you a whole world of experience. But it also takes another away.

3. THE BEST PART OF A COUNTRY OR CULTURE IS ALSO USUALLY THE WORST

In 1965, Singapore, a small island at the tip of the Malaysian Peninsula, was granted independence. Impoverished, uneducated, sparsely populated and with no natural resources, Singapore’s new leaders understood that in order to survive they would have to act fast and find a way to make the tiny island indispensable to the global community.

From the start, the new government put an almost maniacal emphasis on education, commerce, and financial success, generating a culture built around rapid economic growth. A metropolis was soon built specifically to cater to foreign investors, bankers, and international trade. It was a Disneyland for rich foreigners, an island paradise where they’d want to bring their money and never leave.

Today, Singapore is one of the richest countries in the world. The island is more or less devoid of crime and poverty. When I visit Singapore, I always feel like I’m visiting the future, like what Manhattan should have become. The city is modern, spotless and perfect.

But this appearance of perfection came at a cost. The country is a bit soulless. Everything is designed and catered for financial gain. There’s no history, no identity, no deeper values, no deeper respect for individuals beyond money and productivity.

And so, ironically, what is most impressive and admirable about Singapore, is also what is most depressing about it. It was so driven by necessity to become financially indispensable that it sacrificed its cultural identity in the process.

Each cultural trait has advantages and disadvantages. And the more extreme the cultural trait, the more extreme the advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, it’s often the most apparent and obvious aspects of each country’s culture that is both the best and the worst about that country.

For instance, Brazilians often speak proudly of o jeito brasileiro, or “the Brazilian way.” It refers to a typical attitude of being able to cut corners and find the simplest route to success so that one can spend more time relaxing, batting footballs around on the beach, and sipping caipirinhas in the sun. Brazilians take pride in their leisurely ways.

It’s this jeito that gives Brazilians the relaxed and fun attitude that is so attractive to foreigners who visit — nobody parties quite like Brazilians party, and nobody vacations quite like Brazilians vacation.

But this jeito is the same reason why Brazil, as a country, is a fucking mess. Nothing works the way it’s supposed to. The government is completely corrupt and the infrastructure is still stuck in the 1970s. It’s both the best and worst thing about Brazilian culture.

The same could be said for Japanese politeness, for Russian bluntness, for German orderliness, and for American consumerism. They’re both the best and worst things about these countries and cultures. And whenever you take on one, you must be prepared and willing to take on the other.

4. THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE PLANET DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY OR DO — THIS IS A GOOD THING

When everything is familiar — when we wake up in the same home, get coffee at the same cafe, drive on the same roads, say hello to the same people, shop at the same stores, eat lunch at the same restaurants, and crap in the same bathrooms — we get an unrealistic impression that all of the little things matter.

If you say something dumb at the cash register, well crap, you buy muffins from this place every morning — now you’re going to look like an idiot every time you come back.

Or if you accidentally piss off a co-worker, you have to worry that you see them every day, and it’s going to be awkward, and then the awkwardness will make them hate you even more, which will just make it more awkward, which will then probably make you say something even stupider and then they’ll get even more offended and then it will beeven more horrible, and oh my god, I just want to stay in bed and play video games forever.

But when you’re abroad, you can’t help but embarrass yourself constantly — whether it’s stuttering through an unknown language, ordering something disgusting and almost vomiting all over the tablecloth, or just saying really stupid things in a moment of confusion.

And the beautiful thing is, you soon realize that nobody cares. Nobody. Ever.

The vast majority of people don’t care what you say or do the vast majority of the time. And this is liberating.

I once told an Argentine friend that American food is unhealthy because they put condoms in it. I think she nearly choked on her beer when I said it. Apparently “preservative” was not the same as “preservativo” in Spanish.

I once wandered into a gay bondage party in Berlin. I then had to embarrassingly explain to a number of nice German boys that no, I was not rejecting them, I really was trying to get the hell out of there.

I once, in jetlagged frustration, began talking shit about a Thai taxi driver, only to discover that he was somehow fluent in English and understood everything I had said. He then turned around and started explaining to me, in an American accent, why he moved to Thailand and why I should have more patience with people.

These things happen. A lot. But what you quickly notice is that the world moves on. And what may feel like a suicide-inducing embarrassment for you is usually but a mild novelty or smirk for everybody around you. Understanding this is healthy. And it’s a lesson that’s hard to learn sitting comfortably at home, and spending your life shuttling between the same three or four locations every day.

Because once you learn that the vast majority of the planet doesn’t care who you are or what you’re doing, you realize that there is no reason to not be who you want to be. There is no one to please. There is no one to impress. Most of the time, it’s just you, yourself and the stories you invent in your mind.

5. THE MORE YOU TRAVEL, THE MORE YOU LOSE SIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE — THIS IS ALSO A GOOD THING

Many people embark on journeys around the world in order to “find themselves.” In fact, it’s sort of cliché, the type of thing that sounds deep and important but doesn’t actually mean anything.

Whenever somebody claims they want to travel to “find themselves,” this is what I think they mean: They want to remove all of the major external influences from their lives, put themselves into a random and neutral environment, and then see what person they turn out to be.

By removing their external influences — the overbearing boss at work, the nagging mother, the pressure of a few unsavory friends — they’re then able to see how they actually feel about their life back home.

So perhaps a better way to put it is that you don’t travel to “find yourself,” you travel in order to get a more accurate perception of who you were back home, and whether you actually like that person or not.

But here’s the problem: Travel is yet another external influence.

The person you are on a beach in Cuba is not the person you are sitting in the cubicle in the middle of butt ass winter in Chicago. The person you are on a road trip through Eastern Europe is not the person you are at a family reunion in Toronto.

The self is highly adaptable to its external environment, and ironically, the more you change your external environment, the more you lose track of who you actually are, because there’s nothing solid to compare yourself against.

With frequent travel, so many variables in your life are changing that it’s hard to isolate a control variable and see the effect everything else has on it. You are in a constant state of upheaval. And so if you wake up depressed one week, it’s hard to know if it’s because you miss your family back home, or because of the stress of a work project you screwed up before you left, or because you don’t speak the language of the country you’re in, or maybe you have been depressed for months or years and just covered it up until now.

You don’t know. It’s impossible to know. It all kind of blurs together.

And rather than discover who you are, you begin to question who you are. One year you go to France and love it. The next you go and hate it. Taking that new job sounded like a great idea back home, now it sounds like a horrible idea, but then it sounds like a great idea as soon as you get back. One year you are a certifiable beach bum, the next beaches bore you and you have no idea why.

Is everything really changing that much? Or is it just you?

Frequent travel puts your identity into constant flux where it’s impossible to distinguish with certainty who you are or what you know, or whether you really know anything at all.

And this is a good thing.

Because uncertainty breeds skepticism, it breeds openness, and it breeds non-judgment. Because uncertainty helps you to grow and evolve.

And when you go long enough being uncertain of who you really are, what results is a form of subtle, long-term meditation — a persistent and necessary acceptance of whatever is arising, because you don’t actually know if it was the food that made you sick, and you don’t actually know if you like Eastern European cultures anymore, and you don’t really know how you feel about income inequality anymore, and you don’t know if your career path is the best for you or not, and you don’t really know if you miss your friends back home or if you just like the idea of missing your friends back home.

And at some point, you just stop asking questions. And start listening. To the waves and the wind and the calls for love in all of the beautiful languages you will never understand.

You just let it be. And keep moving.

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12:32:00 - By Vincent 0

The Power of Affirmations

By Remez Sasson

What are affirmations?

They are positive statements that describe a desired situation or goal, and are often repeated, until they get impressed on the subconscious mind.

This process, causes the subconscious mind to to strive and to work on your behalf, to make the positive statement come true.

When you know how to use affirmations, you get a great tool for achieving success and for improving your life.

Most people repeat in their minds negative words and statements concerning the situations and events in their lives, and consequently, create undesirable situations. Words work at both ways, to build or destroy. It is the way we use them that determines whether they are going to bring good or harmful results.

Your subconscious mind accepts as true what you keep saying. It attracts corresponding events and situations into your life. So why not choose only positive statements, in order to get positive results?

Imagine that you are swimming with your friends in a swimming pool.

They swim fifteen rounds, something you have never done before, and since you want to win their respect, you want to show them that you can make it too.

You start swimming, and at the same time keep repeating in your mind, "I can do it, I can do it...". You keep thinking and believing that you are going to complete the fifteen rounds.

What are you actually doing? You are repeating positive affirmations.

In a different situation, you might find yourself repeating, "I cannot do this", "It's too big for me", "It is not going to work out", and consequently, lose ambition, motivation and faith, and actually bring about what you said to yourself.

It would be a good idea to pay attention to the words you repeat in your mind, to discover whether you are using negative statements, such as:

• I cannot do this.
• I am too lazy.
• I lack inner strength.
• I am going to fail.

If you discover that these, or similar words, run through your mind, you should do something to change them.

Your words and thoughts program the mind in the same way that commands and scripts program a computer.

Repeated positive statements help you focus your mind on your aim. They also create corresponding mental images in the conscious mind, which affect the subconscious mind accordingly. In this way, you program your subconscious in accordance with your will. This process is similar to the way creative visualization works.

The conscious mind, the mind you think with, starts this process, and then the subconscious mind takes charge.

By using this process consciously and intently, you influence your subconscious mind, and in turn, it transforms your habits, behavior, attitude, and reactions, and even reshape your external life.

You might, how long it takes to get results. Things might happen immediately, in a few hours, in a few days, or take weeks or longer. This depends on your focus, faith, strength of desire, the feelings you put into the words, and on how big or small is your goal is.

It is important to understand that repeating positive affirmations for a few minutes, and then thinking negatively the rest of the day, neutralizes the effects of the positive words. If you want to get positive results you have to refuse to think negative thoughts.

How to Repeat Affirmations

1. Choose affirmations that are not too long.
2. Repeat them every time your mind is not engaged in something important, such as while traveling in a bus or a train, waiting in line, walking, etc., but do not affirm while driving or crossing a street. You may also repeat them in special sessions of 5-10 minutes each, several times a day.
3. Be as relaxed as you can.
4. Pay full attention to the words you are repeating.
5. Stronger faith in what you are saying, and more desire and feelings bring faster results.
6. Preferably, choose positive words with no negative connotations. If you want to lose weight, don't use words such as, "I am not fat", or "I am losing weight." These are negative statements, bringing into the mind mental images of what you do not want. Repeat instead,"I am getting slim", or "I have my ideal weight". Such words build positive images in your mind.
7. Affirm, using the present tense, not the future tense. Saying, "I will be rich", means that you intend to be rich one day, in the indefinite future, but not now. It is more effective to say, and also feel, "I am rich now", and the subconscious mind will work at overtime to make this happen now, in the present.
8. By stating what you want to be true in your life, you mentally and emotionally see and feel it as true, irrespective of your current circumstances, and thereby attract it into your life.

Positive Affirmations

- I am healthy and happy.

- Wealth is pouring into my life.

- I am sailing on the river of wealth.

- I am getting wealthier each day.

- My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way.

- I have a lot of energy.

- I study and comprehend fast.

- My mind is calm.

- I am calm and relaxed in every situation.

- My thoughts are under my control.

- I radiate love and happiness.

- I am surrounded by love.

- I have the perfect job for me.

- I am living in the house of my dreams.

- I have good and loving relations with my wife/husband.

- I have a wonderful and satisfying job.

- I have the means to travel abroad, whenever I want to.

- I am successful in whatever I do.

- Everything is getting better every day.

Did you like the article? Please tell your friends about it.

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12:43:00 - By Vincent 0