What Contribution Taught Me about Connection (and Why I Refuse to Lose Faith in Humanity)

by CHELSEA DINSMORE

Have you ever had an experience that changed you? One that touched you so deeply or inspired you so fully, it caused to to act differently from that point on? Well, here’s a little story about one of those experiences for me…

I visited Africa for the first time 9 years ago. Shortly after that trip, I quit my soul-sucking Public Relations job and decided to pursue something that actually mattered to me. It wasn’t just being away from the office for a few weeks that did it. It was the lessons that lingered afterwards, the reminders that I couldn’t seem to shake.

I recently shared 8 reasons why I think exploration is the best education—but really, it’s pretty simple. It’s because:

Your experiences create your passions.

So, after that initial trip and quitting my job, I had plans to go spend some time in Africa through a fellowship program. But Scott and I then decided it was something we wanted to do together (and was what we had planned to do after summiting Kilimanjaro). I put that dream on hold for a bit to prioritize some other things in my life—a decision I am glad I made today. 

But to honor that lingering spark inside of me, recently I joined a trip to Kenya where the focus was adventure and contribution:

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13:32:00 - By Vincent 0

Creating a Life Plan Can Change Your Life

Why, when, and how to create a life plan

BY Harleena Singh 

Do you think that creating a life plan can really help change your life for the better?

Sounds unbelievable, right? I bet it’s easy to believe that money and power alone can make a difference to your life.

They sure do, but not without a plan!

Without a plan or a program, even your best resources will fail to produce the desired results. Life is no exception.

Creating a life plan is one way to control the outcomes of your life, attempt to manifest your desires or materialize your dreams, and decide your future as well as the state of life.

Let’s learn more about life plans.

“A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.” ~ Confucius

What is a Life Plan

I’m not talking about an insurance plan. Here I’m talking of a strategic plan that gives you some control over your life, to safeguard yourself from failures and taking unnecessary risks.

Life plan is what sets the course of your life, helps you accomplish your aims, and assists in bringing happiness into your life.

The dictionary defines a plan as a series of steps to be carried out or goals to be accomplished.

Life plan is a design that you create with all the will and intention to achieve favorable outcomes. It’s a plan for life, just like the plan you’ve for your business or career.

You can consider a life plan as a map of your life that helps you find the right path, keeps you on track, and makes you happy by making your life meaningful.

Life plan is a structure that gives shape to your hopes and dreams.

You can also consider it as a recipe that tells you about which ingredients you should mix in a specific proportion to bring you the taste of success.

My life plan might be different from yours.

In fact, we all could have different life plans; yet live together in harmony, because life, in general, has a bigger plan that involves all of us.

“You have had a dream for so many years. Let today be the day you make a plan for it. Just think about how much more likely you are to hit your target when you finally aim at it.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Why Create a Life Plan

Do you really know what you want to do or become in life? Do you have a plan for life or a purpose for living?

Obviously, there must be a reason that you’re here in this world and still living – there’s nothing that happens without a reason.

It’s not just about choosing a career, a job, or planning your holidays, investment, and wedding.

Isn’t it ironical that we create plans for everything we do in our life, but not about life itself?

What could be the reasons?

Moreover, if a life plan does help, then why don’t people create one?

If you don’t have a life plan, what’s your reason? Please take the poll to find out why people don’t create a life plan. You may abstain if you’ve created one for yourself.

What are your reasons for not creating a life plan?

Not being aware of a life planNot knowing how to make a life planNot wanting to make the effortsNot believing in life plans

VoteView ResultsPolldaddy.com

Are there any surprising results?

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ~ Allen Saunders

True. Life happens, and sometimes you’ve to accept it, even if it is not in accordance to your plans. Agreed that we aren’t in control of our lives all the time.

But that doesn’t mean that you don’t set up a life plan. Yes, you should not let your plan control you because that makes life difficult.

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Even if plans don’t work your way, you need to do life planning.

A life plan is effective and it does not bind you. It also gives you the freedom to be yourself and achieve your potential.

You need a life plan because it gives you power, makes you strong, and helps to show you the direction of your life.

Most importantly, you need a life plan because it makes your life focused.

Focus and direction are two important elements among others requirements to be successful.

If you do not have a life plan, then it’s just like sitting on logs that drift away with no control, in the river of time.

You can even compare a life plan to a motorboat that can be steered at your will and doesn’t make you feel helpless, but very much in control.

If you feel you’re losing control of your life, things aren’t happening as you wish them to happen, and you feel that your efforts are not bearing the expected fruits, then you must think about creating a life plan.

If you’re not happy with your life, or wish to achieve more in life, then you must plan your life.

A life plan may not guarantee you success, but it can surely make your life easier. It’ll provide you with the specifics to make sense out of the chaos in your life so you don’t waste more time.

Your life plan would define all the milestones, everything you need, all you have to do, and make you realistic about your life.

Do you now believe in the importance of a life plan? I hope you do!

It’s great if you want to evolve in life. It’s not that you don’t evolve if you don’t plan long-term. Even day-to-day plans and living consciously helps you evolve.

However, a long-term plan will give you a new perspective, and an overview that will make your day-to-day living more meaningful.

Now that you know what a plan is and why you need it, when should you start?

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” ~ Zig Ziglar

When to Create a Life Plan

Any time is the right time for creating a life plan, but the earlier the better.

There may be many reasons trying to stop you from doing so, or there could be much doubt in your mind.

You just need one strong conviction to take the positive step and live to the fullest of your life’s potential.

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put this plan into action.” ~ Napoleon Hill

What could be a better time than the beginning of the year to reset the course of your life and steer it into the track of progress.

Generally, those who value life and don’t take it for granted are interested in having a life plan. They’ve a strong desire to succeed.

Passion is the fuel that drives all plans. If you’re inspired by now, and are filled with zeal and fervor for life, then it’s time to plan for it.

Some go for a life plan when all options in life seem to have failed them. That’s the time necessity becomes the mother of all reasons to plan their lives.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” ~ Anatole France

You’ll make a life plan when you strongly believe in it. I’d say, don’t wait for the extreme situations, or think that you’re too old and it’s too late.

It’s never too late. The time to create the plan of your life is NOW!

If you’ve made up your mind, then just pick up a pen and paper and start creating your life plan.

“You have to create your life. You have to carve it, like a sculpture.” ~ William Shatner

How to Create a Life Plan

The first thing you need is a reason to script your life plan, and a strong belief to follow it. I hope by now you’re convinced that you need to have a strategy in place to make your life as you want.

Like all other plans, your approach to creating a life plan should be very logical.

1. Know what you want or where you want to go

2. Find the best and easiest way to achieve your aim or reach your destination

3. Assess yourself and your status to know the resources you have with you

4. Choose the best strategy as per your condition and circumstances

5. Make an action plan and commit to it

Do you believe in a different approach? Please share in the comments; I’d love to know them.

You need to have your own life plan. Don’t try to copy that of others, because you’re unique and you’ve your own beliefs, dreams, purpose, priorities, and qualities.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” ~ Jim Rohn

I believe you can control your life to a great extent and transform it into how and what you want. Isn’t it?

But, how do you go about doing that? I mean achieving happiness not by chance but by your will. I’d say you can follow the following steps to designing your life.

“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Steps to Creating a Life Plan

Your life plan will take the real shape and better form only when you write it down. It will make you serious, accountable, and committed to your design for life.

Creating a life design will give you the focus and force to execute and achieve your dreams. With this dynamic map in hand, you’ll never lose your way.

You need to be very precise and positive while creating a life plan. Use positive sentences to express your precise goals, and make them measurable.

A good plan will always be clear and achievable. You can make it in form of an outline or in detail if you like, or perhaps without being time-specific or a time-bound plan.

Creating a life plan can be a three-step process. A smart tip is to create your plan from top to bottom and implement it from bottom to top.

KNOW and PURPOSE

First, you need to know what you want.

Do you’ve a dream or a vision? Will achieving that make your life complete? What will make you happy in life? What is the purpose or aim of your life? What is the one thing that you’ll settle for in life?

You’ll create your life plan especially for yourself. So, the first thing you need to do is know and understand yourself.

I know this appears to be the most difficult step for some, and it really is not easy. You may understand complex mathematical equations, but understanding yourself seems more difficult at times.

The strongest drives and solutions are all within you. Let yourself be guided by your inner-self and intuition.

If self-introspection seems difficult, what you can do is list all your likes and the things you love in life or about yourself, to make a personal assessment.

Though your likes and dislikes keep changing with time, but you’ll have a better idea and picture about who and what you’re, and what you should be doing.

What are the things you want in life? What is the state of life you want to achieve? What are your innermost desires and drives?

All plans have a purpose, aim, or a goal to start with.

All sportspersons use strategies, and all players have plans to win their games.  The military, doctors, teachers, and all professionals go by their plans.

You must’ve observed the nature and its manifold aspects around you. Do you know that each element of nature has a specific purpose?

Nothing exists without a purpose. Have you found your purpose of life?

Well, I won’t delve with this aspect in its depths, but if you‘d like to do that, you might like to read my post about it.

MUST READ: How to find purpose in life and be happy

As per the dictionary meaning, a purpose is an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. In other words, it’s your aim or objective.

In general, the purpose of life for everyone is to be happy. You can define more specific, realistic, and measurable outcomes that you want to achieve for a limited period.

Having a purpose in life is like knowing your destination, where you’ve to go, in the journey of life. Do you have a dream – if you believe it’s realistic enough, make it your purpose in life!

You need to make short-term goals that serve as milestones to your long-term goal, the destination. Goal setting gives you a vision, a bigger picture, guide, and motivation.

Describe your purpose of life as clearly and precisely as possible.

Besides the purpose, you also need to set your priorities in life. This should be in line with your short-term and long-term goals.

If the main goal of your life is to be happy and achieve happiness for your family, then you need to set intermediate goals at different intervals of your life that can lead to happiness in life.

ASSESS and DEFINE

Second, you must assess and define all aspects, including yourself.

Have you taken a stock of yourself, gathered resources, and defined the critical success factors? Have you defined your success and set the achievable goals? What steps would lead you to your destination?

Observe yourself and find out what are your personal qualities, aptitude, abilities, skills and whatever you’re good at – your strengths and talents.

You can take the help of your family and friends, who might be able to give you some feedback that probably you never took into consideration earlier.

However, you yourself have to figure out what your needs are – emotional, financial, mental, physician, and spiritual needs. Your hopes and dreams have great value too.

Now that you’ve a realistic understanding of yourself, you can get ahead with creating a life plan that is entirely unique for you.

Find out the resources that you require that will help you in achieving your purpose of life. If you don’t have everything, you may’ve to make do with whatever you’ve.

You need to define what success means for you. We all may’ve different definitions and interpretations of success.

You need to find, define, and write the factors that can contribute to your success. Your life journey will become easier when you define your short-term or intermediate goals.

Next, you want to know how to get results.

PLAN and OUTCOMES

Third, plan how you’ll get the results that you want.

Have you created your mission to achieve your purpose? Have you defined your objectives, strategies, and action plans? Do you have specific commitment in place and ways to measure the output or result?

Outcome is the result of your efforts. How precisely can you define the outcomes you desire in your life?

What do you want to be in life? What is your goal and how realistic it is? Is that leading you to your next goal in the scheme of progress that you’ve defined for your life?

Defining the outcomes is like putting up milestones that measure the progress you’ve made or the distance you’ve to travel in your efforts to reach the final destination.

The more outcomes you’re able to think of, the more clearly you’re able to define your life, make it meaningful, know exactly what you want to do and how to proceed in your life.

Remember that the outcomes and purpose of your life should be realistically in line or in coordination with your personal abilities and capabilities.

For example, you’re a blogger and you want to be the richest person in the world. Now this is a bit exaggerated and unrealistic, isn’t?

What about if you want to have a bank balance of 5 million dollars after 5 years.

It’s a great plan, but is it realistic and feasible being a blogger?

Well, I personally feel it’s difficult, but not impossible either. It depends on your skills, attitude, approach, and the timing. Of course, hard work included.

May be you can’t be the world’s richest person, but you can make big achievements if you’ve a combination of high goals, aspirations, resources, a winning attitude, and a strong life plan.

Don’t disbelieve me; there are exceptions and people who’ve done it. Look at Pete Cashmore of Mashable, Michael Arrington of TechCrunch, Timothy Sykes, and many other bloggers.

You too can transform your life!

All you need are right strategies, well-configured action plans, and specific commitments to carry out the plan objectives.

Once you know all about yourself, define your purpose of life, assess and define everything, and describe your desired outcomes along with your action plan, you need to pen them on paper.

“Reduce your plan to writing. The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Sounds great and simple, doesn’t it? However, there’s more to designing your life. One thing you need is a correct format that suits you for creating your life plan.

I haven’t made one for you because good formats are already available created by personal development experts.

You can have a look at Michael Hyatt’s popular life plan here or a simple goal-planning template here.

You create a life plan according to what matters to you and what you want to be.

Make sure that your aims or goals are measurable. You need to define them clearly.

Remember, you need to keep re-visiting your plan, adjusting it according to relevant changes, and keep refining it. A life plan need not be rigid and static; it’s always flexible and dynamic.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Remember that not all good things in life happen by chance. You can create happiness by your efforts and change your life for the better by creating a life plan.

This is the time to start a new life and journey when lots of festivities are going on all around the world.

I wish to extend all my wishes to you for a brighter, healthier, prosperous, and more importantly, a happier year ahead.

“Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.” ~ Mark Twain

Over to you –

What are your views about scripting your life plan? Have you ever created one? If yes, then please share your experiences and tips to make our lives meaningful in the comments below.

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13:42:00 - By Vincent 0

Letting Go: How It Helps You

BY Donna Merrill 

Letting go does not mean giving up! In fact, it helps you gain peace of mind and move forward.

Today I’ve a special guest – please welcome Donna, who’s an intuitive life coach and personal development expert. Let’s read all that she has to share with us today – over to her.

Letting go of anything is so difficult for some people. It can be a hurtful family member or just a piece of furniture.

When we refuse to let go, what happens? We remain stagnant.

Our life is so cluttered with the old, often useless and dysfunctional stuff that we have no room for new things to come in.

I know how difficult it is when a loved one passes on. We mourn our loss and go through a ritual such as burying or cremating the person. Each culture has its own way of facing the “ending”.

We give ourselves time to mourn and then let go. I don’t want to sound morbid by using this example, but it is the ultimate experience of letting go.

Death is something everyone learns to handle because it is an inevitable part of the natural life cycle.

But what happens to people when they become entrenched in a specific lifestyle, or a particular journey and they just can’t adjust to any alteration or modification?

Why People are Afraid of Letting Go

People may stay at a job they don’t like because of fear of what is beyond their potential. Some stay there for years and do not allow themselves to grow and enjoy the things they may love to do.

I notice that when people refuse to let go of things that just don’t work for them any longer, their happiness and sense of self worth start to melt away. They cannot enjoy their spouse, their family, etc.

They may get angry or play victim to the very circumstances that they foster. In any case, they won’t allow themselves to try to extend themselves even for a job interview, let alone starting their own business.

And, often enough, if they do step out of their comfort zone and things don’t work out, they quickly play the blame game to make things somebody else’s fault.

Letting Go of Things in Your Life

I know a woman who is quite a hoarder. Now, this is a physical and transparent form of refusing to let go.

This person cannot let go of her furniture because it reminds her of her past. Her garage is full of surplus furniture and she always complained about it, and begged me to help her get rid of it. But first, I extended myself by visiting her to take pictures of everything, from furniture down to the silverware.

I made a photo album for her so she could keep those memories without cluttering her home. Little by little, she started to give away something here and there. But she didn’t let go of these things without anxiety.

So each time she gave something away, I suggested that she look at the picture we took. After two years, her house has nothing but the essentials in it. Now she is even ready to move to a new place.

Unsurprisingly, this woman’s willingness to let go of her furniture has opened her to letting go of some negative relationships in her life. As she has done so, she’s been able to replace them some good and positive relationships that she had previously avoided.

This is one simple way to illustrate how letting go of things go in our lives enables us to grow, and to move on to new adventures and possibilities.

Letting Go and Starting Your Business

When it comes to our wonderful world of business on the internet, I find that lots of folks are fearful of letting go of menial jobs that are going nowhere in order to start their own business.

So, what can we do with the person who can’t let go of dead-end jobs and careers, even though they are fully capable of doing better?

“Create a back door!” I usually suggest. Go on working as usual, but create time to work on your own business. Nothing happens overnight.

Start your new venture part time, utilizing spare evening or weekend hours. There are many successful people who are doing business part time via the Internet.

That phrase “create a back door” is comforting to those who find it difficult to let go all at once. All one has to do is be diligent, persistent and a business will bloom.

Time is not necessarily of the essence here. “Letting go” is.

Starting an online business part time affords a comfort zone to many people that I’ve consulted with.

They can rely on the job that keeps them financially and emotionally comfortable, while taking daring little chances for a few hours a day.

It’s really not uncommon that before they know it, they are able to totally let go of the go-nowhere job and mentality, and apply themselves fully to doing what makes them happy.

Letting Go of People in Your Life

Letting go of people that are toxic is a biggie, too!

I must have heard a hundred stories about people that won’t let go of a toxic or worse,abusive relationship.

I feel this is the worst form of refusing to let go, especially if there are children involved in the situation.

It is often not an easy thing to let go of a partner because of financial situations, or worse, the syndrome whereby one spouse believes that they cannot survive without the other, even if it puts them (and others) in harm’s way.

Now, if there are children involved in this situation, they are being abused, too. Yes! If daddy is putting down mommy or even worse, displaying violence, the children will suffer, too. To me that is criminal.

But hey, I’m not Queen of the world. I just know this from my own personal experience!

When the abused spouse lets go of the abusive partner (and sometimes it is best to get help before one does it), they end up gaining strength. Why? Because it takes so much strength to deal with that situation, when it is over, the victim who couldn’t let go – turns into the victor who did.

Conclusion

So you see – letting go is often required in order for you to move forward in your life, and in your business.

We all need to let go of some things in our lives in order to grow. The above examples may be pretty extreme, but try applying it to even small things in your life.

Are you holding on to something that you just cannot shake? Do you dream of anything at all that you aren’t doing right now?

What are you waiting for? Let go of ANYTHING that is holding you back and realize that you never stuck in time, you are always evolving. Growth and development never end!

Over To You –

Do you believe in letting go? What can you let go of to make room for growth and improvement in your life? Share in the comments.

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13:33:00 - By Vincent 0

THE PRIME BELIEF

By Mark Manson

In the mid-19th century, a boy was born into a wealthy family. From the beginning, the boy suffered serious health issues: an eye problem that left him temporarily blinded as a child, a terrible stomach condition that forced him onto a strict diet, and back pains that would plague him throughout his life.

Despite his father’s disapproval, he aspired to become a painter when he grew up. He practiced his craft but for years and years every attempt ended in failure. Meanwhile, his brother went on to become a world-renowned novelist. As he entered adulthood, many of his health problems worsened, his relationship with his father fell apart, and the young man began to struggle with severe bouts of depression and suicidal thoughts.

Desperate to fix his son’s situation, the young man’s father used his business connections to get the young man admitted to Harvard Medical School. Fortunately, the young man was smart. He could handle the coursework. But he never felt at home or at peace at Harvard. After touring a psychiatric facility one day, the young man mused in his diary that he felt he had more in common with the patients than the other doctors.

Dissatisfied with his medical training, the young man looked for other opportunities within academy that may suit him. He was desperate. He was willing to try anything, even something radical and completely different.

He soon discovered an anthropological expedition to the Amazon rainforest. The young man signed on, excited to get away and start anew, to perhaps discover something new and interesting about the world and about himself.

In those days, intercontinental travel was long, complicated and dangerous. But the young man made it to the Amazon. There he promptly contracted smallpox and nearly died alone in the jungle. He was rushed back to civilization and the expedition left him behind. Upon recovering from the small pox, his back spasms returned worse than ever. He was emaciated from the disease, stuck in a foreign land alone with no way to communicate, and continued to exist in a daily excruciating pain.

The young man managed to return home to a disappointed father, nearly 30 years old, still unemployed, a failure at everything he had ever attempted, with a body that betrayed him and wasn’t likely to ever get better. Despite every advantage and opportunity he had been given in life, he had failed them all. The only constants in his life seemed to be suffering and disappointment. The man fell into a deep depression and planned to take his own life.

But first, he had an idea.

He made an agreement with himself. In his diary, he wrote that he would try an experiment. He would spend one entire year believing that he was 100% responsible for everything that occurred in his life, no matter what. During this period, he would do everything in his power to change his circumstances, no matter the outcome. If, he wrote, at the end of one year of taking responsibility for everything in his life and working to improve it, if nothing in his life had actually improved in that time, then it will be apparent that he was truly powerless to the circumstances around him. And then he would take his own life.

The young man’s name was William James, the father of American psychology and one of the most influential philosophers of the past 100 years. Of course, he wasn’t these things yet, but he would go on to become them in large part due to his experiment. James would later refer to his experiment as his “rebirth,” and would credit it with everythingthat he would later accomplish.

There is a realization from which all potential personal growth emerges. This is the realization that you are responsible for everything you do in your life, no matter the external circumstances.

In 1879, fifteen years after making the deal with himself, William James gave what was perhaps his most famous lecture, titled “The Will to Believe.”

In it he argued that whether religious or atheist, capitalist or communist, everyone is forced to adopt values on some degree of faith. Even if you don’t believe in faith, that is itself a value requiring faith. He went on to say that if we all must value something, then we may as well orient ourselves to value what is most beneficial for us and others.

When we become responsible for our own values, we no longer have to struggle to make the world conform to our needs, rather we can adapt our own values to fit the circumstances that confront us in the world. 

It’s that simple choice to take responsibility for ourselves and our own values that allows us to feel in control of everything that happens to us and allows us to transform our negative experiences into empowering experiences. It’s completely counterintuitive, the idea that being responsible for all of the horrible misfortunes that befall us could somehow liberate us from them, but it’s true. Our responsibility for ourselves unleashes a deeper fulfillment by allowing us to construe whatever we confront into a value that fulfills our needs. Unruly kids grant us the opportunity to be a good parent and instill discipline and responsibility. A layoff at work grants us the opportunity to experiment with new career paths we had always daydreamed about. A terrible breakup gives us the chance to take an honest look at ourselves and how our behaviors affect our relationships with loved ones.

Image credit: Kamren B Photography

Yes, these experiences still hurt like a motherfucker. But negative experiences are part of life. The question is not whether or not we have them but what we do with them.
Responsibility allows us to leverage our pain for empowerment, to transmute our suffering into strength, our loss into opportunity.

James wasn’t dumb though. He knew that values require more than a simple choice to believe them. You don’t just wake up one day and decide, “I’m a happy successful person!” and become it. Values must be cultivated, consciously tried and tested and steeled by experience. Values are worthless if they don’t contain some sort of real-world manifestation, some tangible benefit in the form of positive experience.

We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control a) how we interpret what happens to us, and b) how we respond to what happens to us. Therefore, whether we consciously recognize it or not, we are always responsible for our experiences. Choosing to not consciously interpret events in our lives is still an interpretation of the events of our lives. Choosing to not respond to the events in our lives is still a response to the events of our lives.

Whether we like it or not, we are always taking an active role in what is occurring with ourselves. We are always interpreting the meaning of every moment and every occurrence. We are always creating values of ourselves and others. And we are always choosing our actions based on those values. Always. Whether we realize it or not, we arealready choosing our actions. We are already responsible for our negative experiences. We just aren’t always conscious of it.

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12:41:00 - By Vincent 0

12 Things You Don't Actually Need to Have Figured Out by Age 30

BY LOCKE HUGHES

In our early 20s, many of us are introduced to the post-grad world, which is apparently full of possibilities. The sky’s the limit! Anything we can put our mind to we can accomplish! Live your dreams!

Or so we’ve been told. Bombarded by messages of endless opportunity, it’s not insane to expect things to just sort of work out as they’re supposed to—just like they did while you plodded through high school and (if you're lucky) college, from class to class and grade to grade.

Once you accept that being 'grown up' isn’t exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.

But as you’ve probably realized by now, life isn’t always linear. Things don’t always turn out the way you pictured in elementary school, doodling your dreams in your favorite Lisa Frank notebook. While it’s sort of terrifying, once you accept that being “grown up” isn’t exactly what you thought it would be, it can be pretty freeing.

I’m not saying setting goals isn’t worthwhile (it is)—but when your goals take a little longer to reach or you end up shifting your priorities, that’s OK too. From settling down to paying off all your loans, here are 12 things you don’t have to have figured out quite yet.

1. How to Travel the World

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I don’t think I have to tell you that traveling is awesome: It opens your eyes to new cultures, beautiful sights, and different types of people. But it’s also stressful, time-consuming, and expensive. And when you follow the adventures of travel bloggers on Instagram, days spent in a cubicle don’t quite compare.

However, putting off a career (and real life) to bounce from Yacht Week to music festival to 10-day yoga retreat isn’t 1) all that realistic and 2) all it’s cracked up to be. Science even confirms it: One studyfound that social media does a great job of highlighting all the glamorous upsides of a jet-setting lifestyle—without portraying the potential drawbacks. As this writer puts it, a picture might be worth a thousand words, but it also leaves out two thousand others.

2. The Person You’ll Marry

As if relationships weren’t tough enough, we now have Tinder and every other app thrown into the mix, making dating in your 20s a whole new game. All that swiping makes it seem like there are a ton of fish in the sea, so when you don’t find the Nemo to your Dory, it kind of sucks.

If you haven’t met the love of your life—the person you want to wake up next to every day for the rest of your life—it’s OK. That’s a huge decision. Don’t let other people’s expectations (or nosy questions) make you rush into something that isn’t right. That’ll just lead to way more heartache down the road. And if you’re putting pressure on yourself because you must. Settle. Down. By. Age. 30, maybe it’s time to rethink your time frame.

3. Your Dream Job

While it's awesome to be ambitious, the reality is that most of us start in entry-level jobs with mind-numbing tasks like checking email and fetching coffee (been there, done that). But no matter where you start, even on the lowest rung of the corporate ladder, there's ample opportunity to grow, network, and learn from the people around you. Getting the career you want involves busting your ass—and being humble in the process.

Also: If you find out your so-called dream job is a dud (or even if you get let go of said dream job), there’s a silver lining. As this articlepoints out, that kind of “career reality check can inspire soul-searching—and ultimately lead you in an unexpected, more satisfying direction.” And your 20s are meant to be a time for finding that out.

4. Where You Want to Live for the Rest of Your Life

...let alone owning a home in that city. If you’re still renting your place, own it—er, be proud of it. This is probably the only time in your life you’re not going to be tied down by mortgage payments, a car, a partner, and/or kids. Move once (or twice). Check out new cities you may want to live in. Spend more time outside your apartment than you do in it. Unless you’re deeply in love with where you live (more power to you if so!), isn’t it more fun NOT to know where you’ll be in five, 10, or 20 years?

5. Running a Marathon

Or a triathlon or even a half-marathon. This is not a prerequisite you have to check off your life to-do list. Of course, if running, biking, or swimming is your thing, go for it. But there are plenty of other ways to work out that don’t involve losing toenails, peeing in a wetsuit, orexhausting yourself, physically and mentally. Move your body in a way that makes you feel good—that’s all that matters.

6. Starting a Side Business

 

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Sometimes it sounds like everyone has a side gig or passion project they work on after their 9-to-5. While there are definitely advantages to pursuing your passion outside of your day job, don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t quite found one yet. If you’d rather leave work, go home, and veg out in front of Netflix most nights, that’s your prerogative. And working hard at your day job—where they’re paying you to be fully present—is your no. 1 priority right now.

7. Your Faith

Maybe you grew up praying before every meal and going to church every Sunday. Maybe your parents couldn’t care less about religion. Either way, it’s now up to you to decide what type of role you want faith—in any higher power—to play in your life. In our 20s, many of us stray away from how our parents approached religion (and I bet your parents did the same thing). Whether you’ve gotten into mindful meditation, you still go to Bible studies, or you’ve stopped thinking about faith altogether, whatever you believe in is your choice. Just keep the faith you’ll figure it all out.

8. Cooking Fancy Meals

While we’re all about learning kitchen basics, if cooking just isn’t your thing, don’t beat yourself up about it. Knowing how to make pasta or the perfect boiled egg are nice skills to have, but don’t feel like you need to throw together four-course dinner parties for your friends every weekend. You’ll have plenty of time later in life to brush up on your knife skills.

9. The Right Balance Between Your Relationships

Your third decade of life may start in college, where you’re surrounded by friends day and night. By the end of it, some people will have settled down with just one person, maybe for life. In between, there will be periods of reveling in your glorious singledom as well as those crazy-in-love times when you can’t leave your S.O.’s side. Both are perfectly fine and normal, but finding the exact ratio of time to give your love interests, your friends, and your family is a giant balancing act that takes time to figure out. True friends will stick with you through it all (and call you out for being MIA when they haven’t seen you in weeks).

10. Allllll of Your Finances

There are a few things you should know about managing money in your 20s, but if you aren’t actively investing in the stock market or are still paying off student loans, it’s OK. (In fact, it’s probably smart to be wary of that app idea your friends think up one night at a bar.) While it’s great to sock some money away in a 401(k) if your company offers one, don’t sweat it if not. Just be sure to save some money, whether it’s in an IRA or a savings account!

11. Designing the ~Perfect~ Home or Apartment

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Truth: IKEA furniture rocks. (My couch and coffee table from that magical place still look good after almost six years.) So do picture frames and towels from Target. Whether you’re still in the roommate stage or living solo, you don’t need to have fully decked-out digs with pricey furniture and original artwork. Make your place as cozy and livable and cute as you’d like—there are plenty of ways to do that for almost no money. And be grateful if you don’t have to deal with a mortgage and yard maintenance (yet).

12. Exactly What You Want to Do in Life

Here’s a little secret: No one really knows what they’re doing—especially in their 20s. No, it’s not a throwaway decade, but it’s also not a race. Take the time to figure out what you really, really want in life and work toward it, but don’t freak out if you don’t haven’t achieved all the things you thought you would’ve by some made-up milestone. You only have one life, and it’s way too short to spend beating yourself up.

12:12:00 - By Vincent 0