Good Decisions Start With a Stop

By Michael Josephson

More often than we like, most of us face choices that can have serious and lasting impact on our lives. Do we go along with the crowd? Do we tell someone off, quit a job, or end a relationship? Unfortunately, these decisions are not preceded by a drum roll warning us that the stakes are high. Even worse, we often don’t have a lot of time to figure out what to do.

It’s no surprise that most bad decisions — the ones that mess up our lives — are made impulsively or without sufficient reflection.

Ancient proverbs tell us to “count to ten when you’re angry” or “think ahead.” But anger and lack of preplanning are only two factors that can impede excellent decision making. Fatigue, fear, frustration, stress, impatience, and emotions also create obstacles to wise choices.

Just as we learned to look both ways before we cross the street, we can learn to analyze every important decision-making situation to allow us to arrive at conclusions that are both effective and ethical.

Each decision, therefore, should start with a stop – a forced moment of reflection to help us clarify our goal, evaluate the completeness and credibility of our information, and devise an alternate strategy, if necessary, to achieve the best possible result. Stopping also allows us to muster our moral willpower to overcome temptations and emotions that could lead to a rash, foolish, or ill-considered decision.

While it’s great to have a day or two to sleep on a problem, or even a few hours, many situations don’t afford us that luxury. But a pause of even a few seconds can often be enough.

Remember, character counts.

SOURCE

14:07:00 - By Vincent 0

5 Paradigms You Didn’t Even Know You Had

By Bob Proctor,

I have a paradigm.

So do you.

To continue to grow, though, we must lead ourselves outside of our paradigms.

The following are five common, but often subtle, paradigms that affect the outcome of our lives. Take a look to see which ones might be shaping your life.

1. Paradigm: Everything is fine.

Life isn’t a struggle, but it’s not anything to write home about either. You’ve accepted that this is the best you’re going to get in life. Maybe because you’ve settled or you feel you don’t deserve more.

Or perhaps you just haven’t invested the time to think about what you truly want. Without a goal to pull you forward, you’ve resigned yourself to the status quo.

This paradigm is pervasive; however, it is subtly different for everyone. So don’t automatically push it aside if, at first blush, you don’t think it applies to you. Sit with it for a while to see if anything comes up.

Breakthrough Perspective: I am happy, but not satisfied.

Just like a seed in the ground wants more sunlight, nutrients and water, we all have a natural desire to grow and evolve.

The law of our being is to know more, to do more and to be more. Each time we achieve something, another desire for even greater good develops naturally—if we allow it to.

As you’ll see in just a minute, adopting a new perspective is about telling your truth. In this case, it’s acknowledging that you’re actually not satisfied with “good enough.” You want an extraordinary life; you want more for yourself and the world.

2. Paradigm: I’ve reached my income limit.

You reached a particular financial position and no matter how hard you work or what you do, your income pretty much stays the same. You feel stuck and can’t figure out how to get over this financial hurdle.

Breakthrough Perspective: I am excited about my financial future.

You can earn more money than you’ve ever dreamed of. However, you can’t do it by talking about, thinking, or feeling there’s a ceiling on your income.

Dwelling on your stagnated income only brings more stagnation. The Universe responds to what you believe.

Increased income can come only from right and positive thinking, and well-conceived and properly executed plans.

Start by getting a sheet of paper and writing down all the negative beliefs you have about money and your ability to earn more of it. Then, let those beliefs go by shredding or burning the paper.

Re-direct your mind to develop a prosperity consciousness, and the money you desire will be yours.

3. Paradigm: My best days are behind me.

Many people, particularly in their 40s and beyond, feel like they’ve already accomplished what they can, and there is not enough time left for them to start a new career, relationship, improve their health, or accumulate money.

This belief system will hit home for you if, on some level, you have given up on your goals. You may have a “why bother” kind of attitude.

Breakthrough Perspective: My best years are yet to come.

In The 100-Year Lifestyle, Dr. Eric Plasker says that your body has the hardware to live 100 years and beyond.

If you knew you’d live to 100, how would you change your life? Would you still feel you’ve already accomplished everything you can?

Our life span is increasing all the time. Expect to be prosperous, happy and healthy for 100 years and beyond. Adopting this new perspective does nothing but good for your life today and in the years to come.

I’m nearly 82 years old, and I have huge goals and more energy than many 30-year-olds. And I don’t plan to slow down anytime soon.

So if you feel like your best days are behind you, stop wasting your life and get back in the game. Get ready for your next big thing!

4. Paradigm: I am unlovable.

You feel lonely and believe you’ll never find a loving partner. You might think that if you had someone who loved you, your life would be a lot better.

Or maybe you’re very outgoing and have a great sense of humor, but inside you’re sad and lonely because you secretly feel you’re unlovable. You might go in and out of relationships because you often settle for the first person who shows interest.

Perhaps you believe you’re unlovable because you are overweight, and the number on the scale determines your value as a human being. You might think nobody wants to be burdened with someone your size.

Breakthrough Perspective: I love myself, and that love comes back to me multiplied.

You have the freedom to feel any way you want about yourself. So why would you want to belittle yourself?

If you feel unlovable in any way, create a new image of yourself and become emotionally involved with that image by, as often as possible, thinking and FEELING what it be like to be that person.

Your subconscious mind can’t distinguish between what’s real and imaginary, so get very clear about the image you want of yourself.

As you go through your day focus only on what you want (love, happiness, health). Also, develop a new way of speaking to yourself and others. Otherwise, you will sabotage yourself with negative self-image dialogue.

5. Paradigm: I need the world’s approval.

Whenever you want to do something new, you look outside of yourself for validation.

You seek approval, appreciation, acknowledgement and guidance from your employer, co-workers, friends, clients or parents. Or you look at conditions and circumstances to prove that you’re on the right path.

This paradigm is often hard to see because most of us naturally sell our abilities short. Take an honest look at your life to see if you need outside approval before going for goals or taking on new things.

Breakthrough Perspective: Spirit guides me at all times.

Religious texts tell us that we were created in God’s image, and we are “a little lower than the angels.”

So if you think your desires aren’t important, or you have an image in your mind of yourself as doomed to fail, that’s a false idea that you must let it go.

When you have a strong desire to do, create, or express something, that longing is divine discontent. It’s Spirit calling you. And if you answer the call, you will be guided and assured of success.

No matter how many of these paradigms you can relate to, you can shift to a new way of thinking.

What happens when you change your perspective

What do you see when you look at the illustration below?

At first, you might see a young lady. However, if you shift your perspective, you’ll see an old woman.

Whatever you perceive to be true about the illustration (i.e., it’s a young lady or an old woman) affects how you think, feel and respond to it.

That’s the power of accepting a new perspective of your paradigm.

Now I would love to hear from you.

SOURCE

13:50:00 - By Vincent 0

You Cannot Always Change Situations, but You Can Change Your Attitude

by Remez Sasson

I am sure that there are certain situations and circumstances in your life that you would like to change. Often, it is quite simple to make changes, but we let laziness, procrastination or fear to stand in our way.

You might be surprised to hear that many of the changes you would like to make are within you reach, and often, within your immediate reach.

For example, you might always complain that you have no time to read. If reading is so important to you, what’s so difficult to arrange your day so that you can find the time? You can always get up half an hour earlier in the morning, or give up half an hour of watching TV in favor of reading a book.

Do you want to learn a foreign language, swim twice a week or arrange your wardrobe? These are simple to accomplish goals, but you might always seek excuses why you don’t have the time for them. You simply do not give them any priority, and prefer to stick to your comfort zone.

Sometimes, we might encounter situations and circumstances that we are unable change. What should we deal with such situations?

If you cannot change a situation, accept it, and learn to live with it. Sure, this requires a certain degree of self-discipline and inner strength.

You might complain, resent the situation and the people involved and be unhappy. This would not help change the situation, and you will be creating suffering and unhappiness for you.

You cannot always change a situation or circumstances, but you can change your attitude toward it.

Changing external situations and circumstances might not always be possible, but changing your attitude is possible.

Read this sentence several times and try to remember it. You cannot always change situations and circumstances, but you can certainly learn to change your attitude. Instead of feeling resentful, frustrated and unhappy, you can learn to be calm, accept the situation, and not fight with it. You can try to look at the situation dispassionately, and try to find out what you can learn from it.

• Are there people you cannot get along with at work?
• Do you have neighbors you do not like?
• Is your boss too demanding?

Will you leave your job or go live somewhere else because of that?

Often, by accepting the situation, it will stop bothering you, or a solution might come along.

Various situations and circumstances could be lessons you need to learn, and after learning and acknowledging the lessons, the situations and circumstances will start to change.

If you accept what you cannot change and learn to live with it, it will stop to be an issue and stop to bother it.

When you accept what you cannot change, you save yourself a lot of energy and time, and can devote your time to better things than thinking about the situation you cannot change.

When you accept what you cannot change, sometimes, even without any effort on your part, as if miraculously, things start to change and improve.

Some people might misinterpret what I said and think that accepting situations means giving up. Others might regard acceptance as an excuse for laziness and doing nothing. This is far from the truth. Acceptance of situations that you cannot change is wisdom and not passivity, and has nothing with giving up and should not be an excuse for passivity.

You cannot change the past, and regretting and feeling bad about it is not going to change it. However, you can learn to stop dwelling on the past and move on.

If you don’t like one of your colleagues at work and you do not get along with him, anger and resentment would not help. However, you can try to be friendly and stop being resentful.

Suppose it is raining outside, but you need to go to work, go the grocery or meet friends. You cannot stop the train and you cannot fight the rain. Would you give up and stay at home, or wear a raincoat and go outside despite rain?

If it is very hot outside and you need to go somewhere, will anger and unhappiness change the weather? You can let thoughts about the weather to cause you suffering and unhappiness, and you can accept it and live with it.

When you change your attitude toward people, situations or circumstances they stop bothering you and they stop causing you suffering.

When you change your attitude, you start to feel better, you become happier, recognize opportunities to make changes, and on many occasions, the situations or circumstances you could not change, begin to change. By changing your attitude, situations and circumstances would start to change, as if by magic.

Are there any tools that can help you change your attitude? Yes, there are a few, such as repeating affirmations, practicing visualization and developing inner peace.

SOURCE

12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

5 Tips to Develop Your Inner Strength and Power

BY Harleena Singh

Have you ever wondered how to develop your inner strength and power? How many times have you wished that you had more willpower or self-confidence, inner strength and power? How often have you lacked inner strength and power, or lacked enough persistence to follow your decisions and plans?

Inner strength and power is not something that you are born with, but it can be developed like any other skill. Your inner strength consists of self discipline, self control, willpower, detachments, persistence, peace of mind, and the ability to concentrate.

Your willpower on the other hand is the inner strength to take actions, make decisions, manage and execute any task, regardless of any resistance, difficulties, or discomfort. It is the ability to overcome temptations, negative habits, laziness, and to carry out actions, even if they are tedious and unpleasant.

Once you train and exercise your willpower, you will be full of courage, strength, and assertiveness. As your inner strength and power grows, it will become easier for you to get rid of attitudes and habits that are a hindrance in your way to a better life.

“Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.” ~ Mark Twain

Listed below are 5 tips to develop your inner strength and power, thus enrich your overall life.

1. Practicing Meditation

One of the best ways to develop your inner strength and power is to practice meditation as it helps you relax in many ways, provides relief from stress, and boosts your energy levels. A few relaxation techniques you can follow are:

• Strictly focus on breathing and nothing else.
• Count your breaths, as this will help you in concentrate on breathing.
• The sharpness of your focus will lessen, once your breathing evens out. You will begin to think more clearly and other stray thoughts that often seem to jumble our minds will be cleared.
• Try again to return your concentration to the breathing, and begin counting again.

2. Breathe Deep

Learn the art of deep breathing appropriately, so that your inner strength and power are enhanced. The demand of oxygen for your brain increases, when you feel tensed, whereas shallow breaths reduce the intake of oxygen that leads to suffocation of the brain cells.

Breathe through your nose until you feel full, though not excessively so. While you deep breathe, your abdominal area will increase and your chest will rise. While exhaling, draw your lower abdominal area in, followed by the upper. Stay in that position for half a second, and then continue with the exercise.

3. Laugh Freely

Laughter helps a great deal in boosting your inner strength and power, as it causes the release of endorphins. Having a good laugh makes you feel good about yourself, which makes your energy levels rise.

When you genuinely laugh, there is a rise in your blood pressure and heart rate that makes the blood flow more efficiently throughout the body. Remember, that more blood flow results in higher energy levels.

4. Forgive  Easily

If you hold a grudge against anyone, the pent up stress can make you feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulder. Such a feeling of emotional drain can be very unproductive and can completely consume you, thus it is better to forgive and let go.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you should forget what hurt or angered you; instead you should be the higher person and show that nothing can keep you down. It takes you beyond the role of being a victim, and places you in the driver’s seat. You should not be a victim, instead, take control of the situation and expend your energy elsewhere.

5. Handle Obstacles

Learning to handle obstacles is the best way to exercise your inner strength and power, stand your ground, and succeed. The world presents you with various challenges so that you learn how to develop mental strength, grow more confident and strong.

To succeed in overcoming obstacles, you need to have the inner strength and power to stick through any adversity. You must have the mindset to believe more in yourself than in the obstacles, and have the willingness to do what it takes to turn the obstacles around. Take action and overcome them!

Your personal success and personal failure, all start in the mind. Success in life is about managed thoughts, focused attention, and deliberate action.

You need to eliminate negative beliefs that have been holding you back from reaching your goals, by tapping into the power of your unconscious mind. Your inner strength and power develops by overcoming inner resistance.

How do you develop your inner strength and power? What helps you achieve it, and how do you get inspiration to achieve this strength and power?

SOURCE

13:30:00 - By Vincent 0

7 Easy Ways to Find Inner Strength

By Harleena Singh 

Do you want to know how can you find inner strength in your life? Do you have any idea where you’d look for it?

Of course, you do not have to venture out to discover your inner strength as that precious inner strength is within you, thus it is aptly termed so. However, sometimes it is okay to take help of external factors to find inner strength.

You must have often heard and read about people using their inner strength to overcome seemingly impossible difficulties and obstacles in their lives. You can do the same.

You need to understand that each one of you has the strength and support you need already within you – you just have to find it. Without finding your inner strength, you often tend to fall short of your goals.

Sometimes you need to keep looking out for things, people, events, and signs that will help you to connect with your inner strength.

Just like any other skill, inner strength can be searched, developed, and worked upon once you are ready. You do need to conduct certain exercises, engage yourself in activities, and make some efforts.

“You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.” ~ Brian Tracy

What is Inner Strength

You need to first clarify the meaning of inner strength. Isn’t inner strength a state of mind? Doesn’t it depend on what you think about yourself and believe in all that you can do?

Inner strength is the strong conviction that comes from within, when you believe in yourself.

Your inner strength is expressed in forms of will power, positive attitude, belief, and confidence in yourself. It’s the positive image and assessment of yourself that makes you feel good, capable, and courageous.

It’s something that says within you – “I can” – no matter what the problem or situation.

Probably it is lot more than that. Your inner strength can make you do wonders. It is a vast reservoir of power that springs from within – an inexhaustible source of miraculous energy.

Inner strength is characterized by self control, self discipline, detachment, persistence, peace of mind, and the ability to concentrate.

With inner strength comes determination, the courage to persist, the power to change, the spirit of endurance, and the force to challenge.

For some people the definition of inner strength is a force of will, though it’s often just the opposite. When you want to find real inner strength, you need to find ways to weather life’s tribulations calmly and peacefully.

This can happen only when you don’t cling to your force of will, rather let it go, which will help you find your inner strength.

There are many tips to develop your inner strength and power as I had discussed in an earlier post. Finding inner strength is regaining the belief and confidence in oneself.

“You really have to look inside yourself and find your own inner strength, and say, “I’m proud of what I am and who I am, and I’m just going to be myself.” ~ Mariah Carey

How Can You Find Inner Strength

Anything that helps you find inner peace can also help in finding inner strength. Reaffirming your spiritual beliefs, getting in touch with nature, doing something to nurture yourself or taking time away from work will help you connect with your inner strength.

It’s in your trying times that you need your family and friends to find ways to come together and find the inner strength with one another. All it takes is a little bit of teamwork, determination, love, and understanding.

Most people show their lack of inner strength with sentences that include the word “impossible” or “can’t” in them. For example, I can’t cook, I can’t lift that bucket, I can’t lose weight, or it’s impossible to write, it’s impossible to earn money, etc.

With such negative thoughts, you are absolutely right, you can never do anything. So, what do you do? Hire someone to spoon feed you or do your work for you? I guess that’s not the path you want to take.

Thus, it’s important to introspect and converse with yourself about where you want to go in life, how you want to turn those negative “can’t” to “can” and “impossible” to “i-m-possible”, and how you want to get there.

Making mistakes, failing, and undergoing traumatic moments are all part of our lives. So, finding inner strength is all the more crucial in being happy, though what’s important is finding that inner strength so that you can rely on it even in your down moments.

Thus, never give up on working on your inner strength.

“Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.” ~ Katherine Dunham

The Key to Finding Your Inner Strength

How do you gather all the inner strength and courage to overcome sudden hardships? You can do so by turning your negatives to positives.

• Start gradually

You need to first start by taking baby steps to achieve inner strength. Don’t try to jump into immediate action that doesn’t work always.

Instead, find ways to support yourself and remove the negative words as mentioned above from your vocabulary.

• Think positive

If you have thought one of your goals as losing weight, then imagine yourself by closing your eyes at the weight you are aiming for. Imagine what you would be doing, thinking, and feeling.

You need to feel those emotions, then open your eyes and find ways to reach those goals by incorporating all that you felt.

• Remain positive

When your goals are set and you start thinking positive, your outlook to life will change. If you feel you cannot lose weight, instead of telling yourself that “I can’t” or “it’s impossible”, try telling yourself “I’m learning how to lose weight”.

Similarly, try shifting all your cant’s into a learning process and give yourself time to develop and find your inner strength.

Remember, your internal support system and inner strength is already present, it’s just waiting for you to tap into it and by taking small gradual steps, move forward to reach your goals.

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Ways to Find Inner Strength

Once you have made up your mind to tread on a path and think positively, developed a positive attitude, and have complete belief in what you are doing, you need to next find ways to discover that inner strength within.

Some strategies that can help you finding your inner strength on those difficult days are –

1. Take time to focus

You need to takeout time for yourself to focus on you and think about what you need to feel stronger. List out all your positive qualities and accomplishments, and if you can’t do that, seek help from your friends or family.

So, when you are feeling low or down, look up this list and feel good for your smallest of efforts. You need to remember that it’s very easy to think about failure and the negatives in life, but you need to fight those thoughts and learn  – to not fear failure.

2. Remain calm and patient

Confucius once said, “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”, so remember that problems may not be solved in one day, thus remain calm and patient.

Celebrate each moment when you take small steps towards solving a problem and feeling better, because those achievements are what help you find your inner strengths.

3. Stay active, sleep well, and have fun

Studies show that you improve your self-image and moods when you eat healthy, smile, exercise regularly, and sleep at least eight hours every night, so don’t forget to do these things.

Also, with the stressful lives we all live, it’s important to have fun by doing things you like to do. It could be things like watching movies, playing games, learning something new, attending live shows, make family time or even acting silly at times!

Just remember to be spontaneous, embrace your inner child, and let loose.

4. Interact and meet people

It would help you a great deal if you in turn volunteer to help others, which can help improve your self-confidence and build  inner strength.

Even attending peer support groups helps to receive support, guidance, and encouragement, and you get to meet new people who may be in a similar situation as you and would understand what you are undergoing.

You could even share your personal stories with trusted friends or others that will help you understanding yourself better and find your inner strength. If you don’t want to talk about your story, try recording it or writing it down in a journal.

5. Express yourself

Find ways to express how you would like to feel or how do you feel by doing things like dancing, drawing, writing, and painting. Try even just doing something you like or even trying to do something unusual by stepping out of your comfort zone.

Doing these various activities are great ways to get rid of negative emotions and energies, and you are able to understand yourself better this ways.

6. Repeat self-affirmations daily

Words or sentences like “I can do it”, or “This too shall pass”, or “I am doing the best I can”, are positive thoughts or affirmations to counteract the negative ones.

They make you feel good about yourself and boost your self-confidence and help youachieve wellness, which in turn helps discover your inner strength.

7. Spend time with family, friends, even pets

Surround yourself with supportive and helpful family and friends who keep reminding you about how good you are and listen to you whenever you need to talk or discuss things.

If need arises, it’s alright to ask for help without feeling ashamed or embarrassed, either from your family or friends, or even seek professional help if need be.

It’s been proven that spending time with your pet also improves your inner strength as your bodies release hormones that makes you feel stronger. So, go ahead and give your pet a hug for being a part of your life and helping you without even knowing about it.

“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” ~ Mother Teresa

Here is another wonderful post on different ways to build  your inner strength that you may like. I also had to share this wonderful video about Nick Vujicic, whom I am sure you all must have heard of some time or the other.

Never Give Up ~ Nick Vujicic ~ You Tube video

Isn’t Nick’s courage and belief in himself an inspiration to all of you? If he can do so much and remains so positive, what’s holding you back? I guess it’s time to change your way of thinking, if you have problems believing in your inner strength.

Speaking of myself, being a freelance writer and working from home, I receive my inner strength from my work, kids and family.

I think I overcome my deepest emotions and convert my fears into strength and power when I know I have my husband’s full support and the love of my kids beside me.

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time.” ~ Anna Freud

Remember that changing your life isn’t always about learning more, but about using your inner strength. So, by discovering the way to your inner self, you will also find inner strength and peace.

Over to you –

What ways would you suggest to find inner strength in our lives? Do you feel it’s possible to develop your inner strength? Share your experiences of finding inner strength in the comments below.

SOURCE

13:30:00 - By Vincent 0

The Tiger, an inspiring story

By Remez Sasson

A teacher and his student were walking from one village to another, when they suddenly heard a roar behind them. Turning their gaze in the direction of the roar, they saw a big tiger following them.

The first thing the student wanted to do was to run away, but since he has been studying and practicing self-discipline, he was able to halt himself from running, and wait to see what his teacher would do.

"What shall we do Master?" Asked the student.

The teacher looked at the student and answered in a calm voice:
"There are several options. We can fill our minds with paralyzing fear so that we cannot move, and let the tiger do with us whatever pleases it. We can faint. We can run away, but then it will run after us. We can fight with it, but physically it is stronger than us."

"We can pray to god to save us. We can choose to influence the tiger with the power of our mind, if our concentration is strong enough. We can send it love. We can also concentrate and meditate on our inner power, and on the fact that we are one with the entire universe, including the tiger, and in this way influence its soul."

"Which option do you choose?"

"You are the Master. You tell me what to do. We don't have much time." The student responded.

The master turned his gaze fearlessly towards the tiger, emptied his mind from all thoughts, and entered a deep state of meditation. In his consciousness, he embraced everything in the universe, including the tiger. In this state the consciousness of the teacher became one with consciousness of the tiger.

Meanwhile the student started to shiver with fear, as the tiger was already quite close, ready to make a leap at them. He was amazed at how his teacher could stay so calm and detached in the face of danger.

Meanwhile the teacher continued to meditate without fear. After a little while, the tiger gradually lowered its head and tail and went away.

The student asked his teacher in astonishment, "What did you do?"

"Nothing. I just cleared all thoughts from my mind and united myself in spirit with the tiger. We became united in peace on the spiritual level. The tiger sensed the inner calmness, peace, and unity and felt no threat or need to express violence, and so walked away."

"When the mind is silent and calm, its peace is automatically transmitted to everything and everyone around, influencing them deeply", concluded the teacher.

SOURCE

12:47:00 - By Vincent 0