LIFE’S GUIDING FORCE, The Power of Grace

By Tony Robbins

Some call it luck, some call it God, some call it grace. Call it what you want, there is a guiding force that shows up in all of our lives. And the more you acknowledge it, the more it appears.

To understand the power of grace, you must understand that life is not about me; it’s about we. Anytime you do something that is greater than yourself, you get a different level of insight. Your experience is enhanced. Life is really about creating meaning – and meaning doesn’t come from what you get; it comes from what you give.

Ultimately, to be happy you need to figure out what you believe and then live it.

Here’s what Tony has to say:

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13:21:00 - By Vincent 0

FEEL GOOD NOW, Progress equals happiness

BY Tony Robbins

If you want to have ongoing joy and fulfillment in your life, the secret is just one word – progress. Progress equals happiness. While achievements and material things may excite you for the moment, the only thing that’s going to make you happy long-term is knowing that you’re making progress.

To do this, you have to remember: While change is automatic – progress is not. Progress results from actively and consciously choosing to create a life you love; a life where you can’t wait to jump out of bed in the morning because you are growing, contributing, impacting and serving.

How do you start creating a life like that? By first learning that you don’t need an excuse to feel good – you can feel good for no reason.

Watch what Tony has to say and then tell us what you do to make yourself feel good.

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13:28:00 - By Vincent 0

Creating a Life Plan Can Change Your Life

Why, when, and how to create a life plan

BY Harleena Singh 

Do you think that creating a life plan can really help change your life for the better?

Sounds unbelievable, right? I bet it’s easy to believe that money and power alone can make a difference to your life.

They sure do, but not without a plan!

Without a plan or a program, even your best resources will fail to produce the desired results. Life is no exception.

Creating a life plan is one way to control the outcomes of your life, attempt to manifest your desires or materialize your dreams, and decide your future as well as the state of life.

Let’s learn more about life plans.

“A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door.” ~ Confucius

What is a Life Plan

I’m not talking about an insurance plan. Here I’m talking of a strategic plan that gives you some control over your life, to safeguard yourself from failures and taking unnecessary risks.

Life plan is what sets the course of your life, helps you accomplish your aims, and assists in bringing happiness into your life.

The dictionary defines a plan as a series of steps to be carried out or goals to be accomplished.

Life plan is a design that you create with all the will and intention to achieve favorable outcomes. It’s a plan for life, just like the plan you’ve for your business or career.

You can consider a life plan as a map of your life that helps you find the right path, keeps you on track, and makes you happy by making your life meaningful.

Life plan is a structure that gives shape to your hopes and dreams.

You can also consider it as a recipe that tells you about which ingredients you should mix in a specific proportion to bring you the taste of success.

My life plan might be different from yours.

In fact, we all could have different life plans; yet live together in harmony, because life, in general, has a bigger plan that involves all of us.

“You have had a dream for so many years. Let today be the day you make a plan for it. Just think about how much more likely you are to hit your target when you finally aim at it.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Why Create a Life Plan

Do you really know what you want to do or become in life? Do you have a plan for life or a purpose for living?

Obviously, there must be a reason that you’re here in this world and still living – there’s nothing that happens without a reason.

It’s not just about choosing a career, a job, or planning your holidays, investment, and wedding.

Isn’t it ironical that we create plans for everything we do in our life, but not about life itself?

What could be the reasons?

Moreover, if a life plan does help, then why don’t people create one?

If you don’t have a life plan, what’s your reason? Please take the poll to find out why people don’t create a life plan. You may abstain if you’ve created one for yourself.

What are your reasons for not creating a life plan?

Not being aware of a life planNot knowing how to make a life planNot wanting to make the effortsNot believing in life plans

VoteView ResultsPolldaddy.com

Are there any surprising results?

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.” ~ Allen Saunders

True. Life happens, and sometimes you’ve to accept it, even if it is not in accordance to your plans. Agreed that we aren’t in control of our lives all the time.

But that doesn’t mean that you don’t set up a life plan. Yes, you should not let your plan control you because that makes life difficult.

“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” ~ Dwight D. Eisenhower

Even if plans don’t work your way, you need to do life planning.

A life plan is effective and it does not bind you. It also gives you the freedom to be yourself and achieve your potential.

You need a life plan because it gives you power, makes you strong, and helps to show you the direction of your life.

Most importantly, you need a life plan because it makes your life focused.

Focus and direction are two important elements among others requirements to be successful.

If you do not have a life plan, then it’s just like sitting on logs that drift away with no control, in the river of time.

You can even compare a life plan to a motorboat that can be steered at your will and doesn’t make you feel helpless, but very much in control.

If you feel you’re losing control of your life, things aren’t happening as you wish them to happen, and you feel that your efforts are not bearing the expected fruits, then you must think about creating a life plan.

If you’re not happy with your life, or wish to achieve more in life, then you must plan your life.

A life plan may not guarantee you success, but it can surely make your life easier. It’ll provide you with the specifics to make sense out of the chaos in your life so you don’t waste more time.

Your life plan would define all the milestones, everything you need, all you have to do, and make you realistic about your life.

Do you now believe in the importance of a life plan? I hope you do!

It’s great if you want to evolve in life. It’s not that you don’t evolve if you don’t plan long-term. Even day-to-day plans and living consciously helps you evolve.

However, a long-term plan will give you a new perspective, and an overview that will make your day-to-day living more meaningful.

Now that you know what a plan is and why you need it, when should you start?

“You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.” ~ Zig Ziglar

When to Create a Life Plan

Any time is the right time for creating a life plan, but the earlier the better.

There may be many reasons trying to stop you from doing so, or there could be much doubt in your mind.

You just need one strong conviction to take the positive step and live to the fullest of your life’s potential.

“Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire and begin at once, whether you’re ready or not, to put this plan into action.” ~ Napoleon Hill

What could be a better time than the beginning of the year to reset the course of your life and steer it into the track of progress.

Generally, those who value life and don’t take it for granted are interested in having a life plan. They’ve a strong desire to succeed.

Passion is the fuel that drives all plans. If you’re inspired by now, and are filled with zeal and fervor for life, then it’s time to plan for it.

Some go for a life plan when all options in life seem to have failed them. That’s the time necessity becomes the mother of all reasons to plan their lives.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.” ~ Anatole France

You’ll make a life plan when you strongly believe in it. I’d say, don’t wait for the extreme situations, or think that you’re too old and it’s too late.

It’s never too late. The time to create the plan of your life is NOW!

If you’ve made up your mind, then just pick up a pen and paper and start creating your life plan.

“You have to create your life. You have to carve it, like a sculpture.” ~ William Shatner

How to Create a Life Plan

The first thing you need is a reason to script your life plan, and a strong belief to follow it. I hope by now you’re convinced that you need to have a strategy in place to make your life as you want.

Like all other plans, your approach to creating a life plan should be very logical.

1. Know what you want or where you want to go

2. Find the best and easiest way to achieve your aim or reach your destination

3. Assess yourself and your status to know the resources you have with you

4. Choose the best strategy as per your condition and circumstances

5. Make an action plan and commit to it

Do you believe in a different approach? Please share in the comments; I’d love to know them.

You need to have your own life plan. Don’t try to copy that of others, because you’re unique and you’ve your own beliefs, dreams, purpose, priorities, and qualities.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” ~ Jim Rohn

I believe you can control your life to a great extent and transform it into how and what you want. Isn’t it?

But, how do you go about doing that? I mean achieving happiness not by chance but by your will. I’d say you can follow the following steps to designing your life.

“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Steps to Creating a Life Plan

Your life plan will take the real shape and better form only when you write it down. It will make you serious, accountable, and committed to your design for life.

Creating a life design will give you the focus and force to execute and achieve your dreams. With this dynamic map in hand, you’ll never lose your way.

You need to be very precise and positive while creating a life plan. Use positive sentences to express your precise goals, and make them measurable.

A good plan will always be clear and achievable. You can make it in form of an outline or in detail if you like, or perhaps without being time-specific or a time-bound plan.

Creating a life plan can be a three-step process. A smart tip is to create your plan from top to bottom and implement it from bottom to top.

KNOW and PURPOSE

First, you need to know what you want.

Do you’ve a dream or a vision? Will achieving that make your life complete? What will make you happy in life? What is the purpose or aim of your life? What is the one thing that you’ll settle for in life?

You’ll create your life plan especially for yourself. So, the first thing you need to do is know and understand yourself.

I know this appears to be the most difficult step for some, and it really is not easy. You may understand complex mathematical equations, but understanding yourself seems more difficult at times.

The strongest drives and solutions are all within you. Let yourself be guided by your inner-self and intuition.

If self-introspection seems difficult, what you can do is list all your likes and the things you love in life or about yourself, to make a personal assessment.

Though your likes and dislikes keep changing with time, but you’ll have a better idea and picture about who and what you’re, and what you should be doing.

What are the things you want in life? What is the state of life you want to achieve? What are your innermost desires and drives?

All plans have a purpose, aim, or a goal to start with.

All sportspersons use strategies, and all players have plans to win their games.  The military, doctors, teachers, and all professionals go by their plans.

You must’ve observed the nature and its manifold aspects around you. Do you know that each element of nature has a specific purpose?

Nothing exists without a purpose. Have you found your purpose of life?

Well, I won’t delve with this aspect in its depths, but if you‘d like to do that, you might like to read my post about it.

MUST READ: How to find purpose in life and be happy

As per the dictionary meaning, a purpose is an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions. In other words, it’s your aim or objective.

In general, the purpose of life for everyone is to be happy. You can define more specific, realistic, and measurable outcomes that you want to achieve for a limited period.

Having a purpose in life is like knowing your destination, where you’ve to go, in the journey of life. Do you have a dream – if you believe it’s realistic enough, make it your purpose in life!

You need to make short-term goals that serve as milestones to your long-term goal, the destination. Goal setting gives you a vision, a bigger picture, guide, and motivation.

Describe your purpose of life as clearly and precisely as possible.

Besides the purpose, you also need to set your priorities in life. This should be in line with your short-term and long-term goals.

If the main goal of your life is to be happy and achieve happiness for your family, then you need to set intermediate goals at different intervals of your life that can lead to happiness in life.

ASSESS and DEFINE

Second, you must assess and define all aspects, including yourself.

Have you taken a stock of yourself, gathered resources, and defined the critical success factors? Have you defined your success and set the achievable goals? What steps would lead you to your destination?

Observe yourself and find out what are your personal qualities, aptitude, abilities, skills and whatever you’re good at – your strengths and talents.

You can take the help of your family and friends, who might be able to give you some feedback that probably you never took into consideration earlier.

However, you yourself have to figure out what your needs are – emotional, financial, mental, physician, and spiritual needs. Your hopes and dreams have great value too.

Now that you’ve a realistic understanding of yourself, you can get ahead with creating a life plan that is entirely unique for you.

Find out the resources that you require that will help you in achieving your purpose of life. If you don’t have everything, you may’ve to make do with whatever you’ve.

You need to define what success means for you. We all may’ve different definitions and interpretations of success.

You need to find, define, and write the factors that can contribute to your success. Your life journey will become easier when you define your short-term or intermediate goals.

Next, you want to know how to get results.

PLAN and OUTCOMES

Third, plan how you’ll get the results that you want.

Have you created your mission to achieve your purpose? Have you defined your objectives, strategies, and action plans? Do you have specific commitment in place and ways to measure the output or result?

Outcome is the result of your efforts. How precisely can you define the outcomes you desire in your life?

What do you want to be in life? What is your goal and how realistic it is? Is that leading you to your next goal in the scheme of progress that you’ve defined for your life?

Defining the outcomes is like putting up milestones that measure the progress you’ve made or the distance you’ve to travel in your efforts to reach the final destination.

The more outcomes you’re able to think of, the more clearly you’re able to define your life, make it meaningful, know exactly what you want to do and how to proceed in your life.

Remember that the outcomes and purpose of your life should be realistically in line or in coordination with your personal abilities and capabilities.

For example, you’re a blogger and you want to be the richest person in the world. Now this is a bit exaggerated and unrealistic, isn’t?

What about if you want to have a bank balance of 5 million dollars after 5 years.

It’s a great plan, but is it realistic and feasible being a blogger?

Well, I personally feel it’s difficult, but not impossible either. It depends on your skills, attitude, approach, and the timing. Of course, hard work included.

May be you can’t be the world’s richest person, but you can make big achievements if you’ve a combination of high goals, aspirations, resources, a winning attitude, and a strong life plan.

Don’t disbelieve me; there are exceptions and people who’ve done it. Look at Pete Cashmore of Mashable, Michael Arrington of TechCrunch, Timothy Sykes, and many other bloggers.

You too can transform your life!

All you need are right strategies, well-configured action plans, and specific commitments to carry out the plan objectives.

Once you know all about yourself, define your purpose of life, assess and define everything, and describe your desired outcomes along with your action plan, you need to pen them on paper.

“Reduce your plan to writing. The moment you complete this, you will have definitely given concrete form to the intangible desire.” ~ Napoleon Hill

Sounds great and simple, doesn’t it? However, there’s more to designing your life. One thing you need is a correct format that suits you for creating your life plan.

I haven’t made one for you because good formats are already available created by personal development experts.

You can have a look at Michael Hyatt’s popular life plan here or a simple goal-planning template here.

You create a life plan according to what matters to you and what you want to be.

Make sure that your aims or goals are measurable. You need to define them clearly.

Remember, you need to keep re-visiting your plan, adjusting it according to relevant changes, and keep refining it. A life plan need not be rigid and static; it’s always flexible and dynamic.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Remember that not all good things in life happen by chance. You can create happiness by your efforts and change your life for the better by creating a life plan.

This is the time to start a new life and journey when lots of festivities are going on all around the world.

I wish to extend all my wishes to you for a brighter, healthier, prosperous, and more importantly, a happier year ahead.

“Plan for the future because that’s where you are going to spend the rest of your life.” ~ Mark Twain

Over to you –

What are your views about scripting your life plan? Have you ever created one? If yes, then please share your experiences and tips to make our lives meaningful in the comments below.

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13:42:00 - By Vincent 0

5 LIFE LESSONS FROM 5 YEARS OF TRAVELING THE WORLD

By Mark Manson

Almost five years ago today, my apartment lease expired, I shipped a few boxes to my mom’s house, packed a suitcase to (hopefully) last me a few months, and took off across the Atlantic. I had less than $1,000 in my bank account.

The first stop was Paris, where, still reeling from breaking up with my girlfriend, selling all of my possessions, and maintaining an online business that was hardly making any money, I proceeded to sulk and gripe my way through the streets of La Ville-Lumiéretotally not appreciating what was around me.

Eventually, things got better though. And I moved on. Both from Paris and my own personal pity parade. I moved on to Belgium, then Holland, then Germany, then Prague. I moved back home again only to move on to South America a few months later. Then Southeast Asia after that, then Australia, then Central America, then Eastern Europe, and then South America again.

Over the span of five years, I moved on to 55 separate countries, dozens of new friendships, hundreds of fascinating people and experiences, and even picked up a couple languages along the way.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to get all misty-eyed and tell you how I discovered my true calling or how happy starving children in Africa really are if you could have just seen them playing with trash and shitting in buckets — they were soooooooo happy. I’m not going to get up my own ass with false self-importance. And I’m certainly not going to claim I “found myself” or something.

No. Traveling the world, like any life path you choose, has its ups and downs, its highs and lows, its pros and cons.

But I will say: picking up and leaving my life behind in 2009 and spending the past five years vagabonding about the planet was both one of the most challenging and rewarding decisions I’ve ever made. And I wouldn’t take it back.

Because you do learn a lot. About people, about the world, about life. You just don’t always learn what you expect to learn. Sometimes the lessons come at unwanted times and give you unwanted truths. Sometimes you learn things you can’t unlearn and see things you can’t unsee.

But regardless, you grow. Here are some of the lessons that I’ve learned and some of the ways I have grown.

1. HAPPINESS IS COMMON — HUMAN DIGNITY IS NOT

The stereotype of world travelers is the upper-middle-class college kid who goes to some random, third-world country, sees a bunch of poor, half-naked kids joyfully playing in sewage puddles with toys made out of string and broken sticks, and suddenly has the life-changing epiphany that, no, you do not in fact need an XBox 360 and 24-hour delivery from Dominos to be happy in this world.

Who would have thunk it?

It turns out, the human capacity for happiness is surprisingly flexible. Psychological research shows that people quickly adjust to their surroundings and are able to find joy in most situations, regardless of their culture, material wealth or political situation.

For this reason, traveling the world has lowered my estimation of happiness. When I left Boston back in 2009, my aims were somewhat hedonic: party a lot, meet interesting people, have crazy adventures. But over the years I’ve grown to see that “feeling good” in and of itself is often overrated.

I don’t mean to be a stick in the mud. Happiness is important, sure. But it’s also common and can be found in most situations once your mind adjusts to your surroundings. You can find happiness in any slum or in any mansion, on the beach, in the mountains, or in the middle of the desert.

But what is rare in many parts of the world is human dignity. You know, people who aren’t treated like animals — used, ignored, cheated, beaten, mutilated, silenced, or suppressed. Again, not to be a stick in the mud, but those happy kids playing in sewage pipes and shitting in buckets will be lucky to make it to middle age without serious violence, addiction or health problems in their lives.

In American culture, we are so fixated on feeling good all of the time, it seems we sometimes forget that there are more important things in the world than being happy or entertained. Traveling has shown me that there are things that are more important than pleasure or happiness. And it’s made me far more conscious of a lot of the injustices and cruelties that go on not just around the world, but here in our own backyard, without us necessarily taking much notice.

Again, not getting on my soapbox or anything. These realizations have actually made me happier overall. Ironically, it’s by making these other values — community, connection, self-expression, honesty — more important than my own gratification that my happiness and fulfillment happen naturally as a side effect.

That and 24-hour Dominos delivery.

2. WORLD TRAVEL GIVES YOU GREATER PERSPECTIVE ON LIFE, BUT IT LIMITS YOUR ABILITY TO COMMIT TO THINGS

The beauty of traveling around the world is that it allows you to get altitude.

No, I don’t mean airplane altitude.

I mean it allows you to get a big-picture perspective on things, to see the various ways cultures mesh and collide with one another and how the different streams of history have eroded and hardened each country’s social structures into their respective places.

You realize that much of what you believed to be unique in your home country is often universal, and that much of what you thought was universal is often specific to your home country.

You realize that humans are by and large the same, with the same needs, the same desires and the same awful biases that pit them haplessly against each other.

You realize that no matter how much you see or how much you learn about the world, there’s always more — that with every new destination discovered, you become aware of a dozen others, and with every new piece of knowledge obtained, you only become more aware of how much you really don’t know.

You realize that you will never be able to explore or encounter all of these destinations. Because you realize that the more you spread the breadth of your experience across the globe, the thinner and more meaningless it becomes.

You realize that there’s something to be said to limiting oneself, not just geographically, but also emotionally. That there’s a certain depth of experience and meaning that can only be achieved when one picks a single piece of creation and says, “This is it. This is where I belong.”

Perpetual world travel literally gives you a whole world of experience. But it also takes another away.

3. THE BEST PART OF A COUNTRY OR CULTURE IS ALSO USUALLY THE WORST

In 1965, Singapore, a small island at the tip of the Malaysian Peninsula, was granted independence. Impoverished, uneducated, sparsely populated and with no natural resources, Singapore’s new leaders understood that in order to survive they would have to act fast and find a way to make the tiny island indispensable to the global community.

From the start, the new government put an almost maniacal emphasis on education, commerce, and financial success, generating a culture built around rapid economic growth. A metropolis was soon built specifically to cater to foreign investors, bankers, and international trade. It was a Disneyland for rich foreigners, an island paradise where they’d want to bring their money and never leave.

Today, Singapore is one of the richest countries in the world. The island is more or less devoid of crime and poverty. When I visit Singapore, I always feel like I’m visiting the future, like what Manhattan should have become. The city is modern, spotless and perfect.

But this appearance of perfection came at a cost. The country is a bit soulless. Everything is designed and catered for financial gain. There’s no history, no identity, no deeper values, no deeper respect for individuals beyond money and productivity.

And so, ironically, what is most impressive and admirable about Singapore, is also what is most depressing about it. It was so driven by necessity to become financially indispensable that it sacrificed its cultural identity in the process.

Each cultural trait has advantages and disadvantages. And the more extreme the cultural trait, the more extreme the advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, it’s often the most apparent and obvious aspects of each country’s culture that is both the best and the worst about that country.

For instance, Brazilians often speak proudly of o jeito brasileiro, or “the Brazilian way.” It refers to a typical attitude of being able to cut corners and find the simplest route to success so that one can spend more time relaxing, batting footballs around on the beach, and sipping caipirinhas in the sun. Brazilians take pride in their leisurely ways.

It’s this jeito that gives Brazilians the relaxed and fun attitude that is so attractive to foreigners who visit — nobody parties quite like Brazilians party, and nobody vacations quite like Brazilians vacation.

But this jeito is the same reason why Brazil, as a country, is a fucking mess. Nothing works the way it’s supposed to. The government is completely corrupt and the infrastructure is still stuck in the 1970s. It’s both the best and worst thing about Brazilian culture.

The same could be said for Japanese politeness, for Russian bluntness, for German orderliness, and for American consumerism. They’re both the best and worst things about these countries and cultures. And whenever you take on one, you must be prepared and willing to take on the other.

4. THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE PLANET DOESN’T CARE WHAT YOU SAY OR DO — THIS IS A GOOD THING

When everything is familiar — when we wake up in the same home, get coffee at the same cafe, drive on the same roads, say hello to the same people, shop at the same stores, eat lunch at the same restaurants, and crap in the same bathrooms — we get an unrealistic impression that all of the little things matter.

If you say something dumb at the cash register, well crap, you buy muffins from this place every morning — now you’re going to look like an idiot every time you come back.

Or if you accidentally piss off a co-worker, you have to worry that you see them every day, and it’s going to be awkward, and then the awkwardness will make them hate you even more, which will just make it more awkward, which will then probably make you say something even stupider and then they’ll get even more offended and then it will beeven more horrible, and oh my god, I just want to stay in bed and play video games forever.

But when you’re abroad, you can’t help but embarrass yourself constantly — whether it’s stuttering through an unknown language, ordering something disgusting and almost vomiting all over the tablecloth, or just saying really stupid things in a moment of confusion.

And the beautiful thing is, you soon realize that nobody cares. Nobody. Ever.

The vast majority of people don’t care what you say or do the vast majority of the time. And this is liberating.

I once told an Argentine friend that American food is unhealthy because they put condoms in it. I think she nearly choked on her beer when I said it. Apparently “preservative” was not the same as “preservativo” in Spanish.

I once wandered into a gay bondage party in Berlin. I then had to embarrassingly explain to a number of nice German boys that no, I was not rejecting them, I really was trying to get the hell out of there.

I once, in jetlagged frustration, began talking shit about a Thai taxi driver, only to discover that he was somehow fluent in English and understood everything I had said. He then turned around and started explaining to me, in an American accent, why he moved to Thailand and why I should have more patience with people.

These things happen. A lot. But what you quickly notice is that the world moves on. And what may feel like a suicide-inducing embarrassment for you is usually but a mild novelty or smirk for everybody around you. Understanding this is healthy. And it’s a lesson that’s hard to learn sitting comfortably at home, and spending your life shuttling between the same three or four locations every day.

Because once you learn that the vast majority of the planet doesn’t care who you are or what you’re doing, you realize that there is no reason to not be who you want to be. There is no one to please. There is no one to impress. Most of the time, it’s just you, yourself and the stories you invent in your mind.

5. THE MORE YOU TRAVEL, THE MORE YOU LOSE SIGHT OF WHO YOU ARE — THIS IS ALSO A GOOD THING

Many people embark on journeys around the world in order to “find themselves.” In fact, it’s sort of cliché, the type of thing that sounds deep and important but doesn’t actually mean anything.

Whenever somebody claims they want to travel to “find themselves,” this is what I think they mean: They want to remove all of the major external influences from their lives, put themselves into a random and neutral environment, and then see what person they turn out to be.

By removing their external influences — the overbearing boss at work, the nagging mother, the pressure of a few unsavory friends — they’re then able to see how they actually feel about their life back home.

So perhaps a better way to put it is that you don’t travel to “find yourself,” you travel in order to get a more accurate perception of who you were back home, and whether you actually like that person or not.

But here’s the problem: Travel is yet another external influence.

The person you are on a beach in Cuba is not the person you are sitting in the cubicle in the middle of butt ass winter in Chicago. The person you are on a road trip through Eastern Europe is not the person you are at a family reunion in Toronto.

The self is highly adaptable to its external environment, and ironically, the more you change your external environment, the more you lose track of who you actually are, because there’s nothing solid to compare yourself against.

With frequent travel, so many variables in your life are changing that it’s hard to isolate a control variable and see the effect everything else has on it. You are in a constant state of upheaval. And so if you wake up depressed one week, it’s hard to know if it’s because you miss your family back home, or because of the stress of a work project you screwed up before you left, or because you don’t speak the language of the country you’re in, or maybe you have been depressed for months or years and just covered it up until now.

You don’t know. It’s impossible to know. It all kind of blurs together.

And rather than discover who you are, you begin to question who you are. One year you go to France and love it. The next you go and hate it. Taking that new job sounded like a great idea back home, now it sounds like a horrible idea, but then it sounds like a great idea as soon as you get back. One year you are a certifiable beach bum, the next beaches bore you and you have no idea why.

Is everything really changing that much? Or is it just you?

Frequent travel puts your identity into constant flux where it’s impossible to distinguish with certainty who you are or what you know, or whether you really know anything at all.

And this is a good thing.

Because uncertainty breeds skepticism, it breeds openness, and it breeds non-judgment. Because uncertainty helps you to grow and evolve.

And when you go long enough being uncertain of who you really are, what results is a form of subtle, long-term meditation — a persistent and necessary acceptance of whatever is arising, because you don’t actually know if it was the food that made you sick, and you don’t actually know if you like Eastern European cultures anymore, and you don’t really know how you feel about income inequality anymore, and you don’t know if your career path is the best for you or not, and you don’t really know if you miss your friends back home or if you just like the idea of missing your friends back home.

And at some point, you just stop asking questions. And start listening. To the waves and the wind and the calls for love in all of the beautiful languages you will never understand.

You just let it be. And keep moving.

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12:32:00 - By Vincent 0