comfort zone challenge 7, work out in public. Central London

comfort zone challenge 7, work out in public. Central London. Picadilly circus

14:16:00 - By Vincent 0

Why do we fear change? How to Break Out of your comfort zone!!

Why do we fear change? This video nails the answer!!! If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone to discover where life really gets exciting & fun then subscribe to my page now. I am all about helping people breakout of the grind of merely surviving and into an awesome life of Thriving!! 

13:58:00 - By Vincent 0

Discomfort Zone: How to Master the Universe

BY LEO BABAUTA

‘The only thing I can’t stand is discomfort.’ ~Gloria Steinem

Of all the skills I’ve learned in the past 7 years of changing my life, one skill stands out:

Learning to be comfortable with discomfort.

If you learn this skill, you can master pretty much anything. You can beat procrastination, start exercising, make your diet healthier, learn a new language, make it through challenges and physically grueling events, explore new things, speak on a stage, let go of all that you know, and become a minimalist. And that’s just the start.

Unfortunately, most people avoid discomfort. I mean, they really avoid it — at the first sign of discomfort, they’ll run as fast as possible in the other direction. This is perhaps the biggest limiting factor for most people, and it’s why you can’t change your habits.

Think about this: many people don’t eat vegetables because they don’t like the taste. We’re not talking about soul-wrenching pain here, not Guantanamo torture, but a taste that’s just not something you’re used to. And so they eat what they already like, which is sweets and fried stuff and meats and cheeses and salty things and lots of processed flour.

The simple act of learning to get used to something that tastes different — not really that hard in the grand scheme of life — makes people unhealthy, often overweight.

I know, because this was me for so many years. I became fat and sedentary and a smoker and deeply in debt with lots of clutter and procrastination, because I didn’t like things that were uncomfortable. And so I created a life that was deeply uncomfortable as a result.

The beautiful thing is: I learned that a little discomfort isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be something you enjoy, with a little training. When I learned this, I was able to change everything, and am still pretty good at changing because of this one skill.

Master your fear of discomfort, and you can master the universe.

Avoidance of Discomfort

When people are stressed, they often turn to cigarettes, food, shopping, alcohol, drugs … anything to get rid of the disomfort of the thing that’s stressing them out. And yet, if you take a deeper look at the stress, it’s really an unfounded fear that’s causing it (usually the fear that we’re not good enough), and if we examined it and gave it some light of day, it would start to go away.

When people start to exercise after being sedentary, they are uncomfortable. It’s hard! It can make you sore. It’s not as easy as not exercising. It’s not something you’re used to doing, and you fear doing it wrong or looking stupid. And so you stop after awhile, because it’s uncomfortable, when really it’s not horrible to be uncomfortable for a little while. We’re not talking about incredible pain, but just discomfort.

When people try a healthier diet, they often don’t like it — eating veggies and raw nuts and flaxseeds and fruits and tofu or tempeh or black beans isn’t as thrilling as eating fried, fatty, salty or sweet foods. It’s a form of discomfort to change your taste buds, but the truth is, it can easily happen if you just get through a little discomfort.

Discomfort isn’t bad. It’s just not what we’re used to. And so we avoid it, but at the cost of not being able to change things, not being healthy, not being open to adventure and the chaos of raw life.

Mastering Discomfort

The way to master discomfort is to do it comfortably. That might sound contradictory, but it’s not. If you are afraid of discomfort, and you try to beat discomfort with a really gruelling activity, you will probably give up and fail, and go back to comfort.

So do it in small doses.

1. Pick something that’s not hard. Take meditation as an example. It’s not really that hard — you just sit down and pay attention to your body and breath, in the present moment. You don’t have to empty your mind (just notice your thoughts), you don’t have to chant anything weird, you just sit and pay attention. If you don’t like meditation, try a new healthy food, like kale or raw almonds or quinoa. Or a fairly easy exercise if you’re sedentary, like walking or jogging.
2. Just do a little. You don’t have to start by doing 30 minutes of something you’re not used to doing. Just do a few minutes. Just start.
3. Push out of your comfort zone, a little. My friend and Zen priest Susan O’Connell has a favorite meditation instruction that you can use for any activity actually: when you’re meditating and you feel like getting up, don’t; then when you feel the urge to get up a second time, don’t; and when you feel the urge to get up a third time, then get up. So you sit through the urge, the discomfort, twice before finally giving in the third time. This is a nice balance, so that you’re pushing your comfort zone a little. You can do this in exercise and many other activities — push a little.
4. Watch the discomfort. Watch yourself as you get a bit uncomfortable — are you starting to complain (internally)? Are you looking for ways to avoid it? Where do you turn to? What happens if you stay with it, and don’t do anything?
5. Smile. This is not trivial advice. If you can smile while being uncomfortable, you can learn to be happy with discomfort, with practice. When I did the Goruck Challenge in 2011, it was 13 hours of discomfort — raw and bloody knees, sand in my shoes as a hiked and ran with 60+ pounds on my back, carrying teammates and logs, doing pushups and crabwalks and other exercises, needing the bathroom and being tired and hungry and cold. And yet, I practiced something simple: I tried to mantain a smile through all this discomfort. It’s an important practice.

Repeat this practice daily. It will be strange, perhaps difficult, at first, but soon your comfort zone will expand. If you practice it enough, with different activities, your comfort zone will expand to include discomfort. And then you can master the universe.

What You Can Now Master

If you master discomfort, what can you now master as a result? Just about anything:

1. Procrastination. We procrastinate to avoid something that’s not comfortable, but if you can learn to stay with that task, even if it’s not comfortable. The discomfort isn’t bad. Those of you going through theProcrastination module in my Sea Change Program are learning about dealing with the discomfort of staying with your important task.
2. Exercise. We avoid exercise because it’s not comfortable, but if we expand the comfort zone a little at a time, we can make exercise something we’re comfortable with, after a little repetition.
3. Writing. If you want to write but always seem to put it off, that’s because writing is often difficult, or less comfortable than checking email or social networks (for example). Stay with the discomfort, and you’ll write more than ever.
4. Eating healthy. It’s amazing how much our taste buds can change over time, if we gradually get used to healthier foods. That means going through small periods of discomfort, but it’s not that bad in little doses.
5. Meditation. We avoid the disomfort of sitting and doing nothing, of focusing on the present. But it’s not that hard — just a little uncomfortable.
6. Waking early. Waking early means being a little tired for a little while, but that’s not a horrible thing. Read more about rising early.
   
7. Learning a language/instrument. Want to learn something new? That means doing something you’re not used to, by definition, and so we often quit before we master this new skill, simply because (you guessed it) it makes us uncomfortable. Stay with the discomfort, and before long you’ll enjoy learning this new skill.
8. Clutter. Clutter is just another form of procrastination. You don’t put things away, or you let a pile of things you don’t need build up, because it’s not comfortable dealing with it right now (as compared to, say, browsing the Internet or watching TV). But dealing with something right now isn’t that hard once you get past the discomfort.
9. Reading novels. We tend to avoid simply sitting with a book, because we are pulled towards something more comfortable (again, Internet browsing as an example). If we can just sit with the book and a little discomfort, we can read more.
10. Empty email inbox. Another form of procrastination — you get some emails, maybe look at them, but put off dealing with them right now because it’s easier not to.
11. Debt. This is a series of things we have to deal with that are uncomfortable — listing out our debts and bills, making a simple budget, doing things that are free instead of shopping, etc. But I got out of debt by finally facing all of these things, and it was wonderful.
12. New adventures. Many people stay with places they’re comfortable with, which means missing out on new experiences that might be a little uncomfortable. Even when they travel, many people stick with the tourist sights and food that they’re used to, rather than finding strange but more authentic experiences in a new land. We avoid meeting new people, speaking on stage, letting go of what we know, being open to new things … to avoid discomfort.
    

And that’s just the start. Within each of these areas there’s many things you can work on over the coming years now that you’re not afraid of discomfort, and there are many other areas of exploration now open to you.

Discomfort can be the joyful key that opens up everything for you.

‘Discomfort is very much part of my master plan.’ ~Jonathan Lethem

SOURCE 

11:21:00 - By Vincent 0

5 Golden Tips On How To Deal With Anger

By Harleena Singh 

Anger is not bad, but it’s the way we deal with it that really matters. While we all know how to get angry, we should also know how to deal with anger to avoid troubles in life.

One of the earlier posts on this blog tells you about the reasons why you get angry, while there’s another one with an interesting story on what harm can anger do to you and your life.

Now, even after being aware of all these facts, most of you still get angry – don’t you?

Well, don’t worry, because as I stated earlier, getting angry is not that much of a problem if you know the right ways to deal with it.

It happens with everybody, including myself – that sometimes you just can’t help but get angry. And that’s okay, though it’s better if you can avoid doing so or get angry within limits.

However, something that you should certainly do is to help yourself on learning how to control your anger.

Anger is an emotion, and as with any other emotion, it’s alright to go through it in constructive ways.

Whenever you feel the anger, know that you can release or deal with it in various positive ways.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~ Gautama Buddha

Tips on How to Deal with Anger

There are many tips and techniques for controlling anger. Nevertheless, here are some of the ways that I use to control anger and find them quite effective.

Basically, you need to try and achieve these objectives whenever you get angry:

• Gain time so that you don’t react instantly
• Control the thoughts in your mind and changes in your body due to anger
• Release your anger in ways that are not harmful

Do you also use any of these anger management techniques? If not, then probably you can learn and practice them in your life.

“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” ~ Thomas Paine

1. Remove Yourself

Pull yourself away from the person or situation that angers you.

If someone or something makes you angry – you need to try to remove yourself temporarily from that situation or go away from that person.

If not that, then try ways so that the other person goes away and you can have time to deal with your anger.

Yes, take a timeout because that will reduce the chances of you giving back an instant reaction, which is often uncontrolled, unreasonable, and hurtful.

It’s not running away – but being wise, because it’s unlikely that you’ll deal with the person or situation in the best manner when you’re angry.

You can even sleep and later talk about what angered you when you wake up with a refreshed mind.

Anger Management Tip: Take a walk in the garden or listen to soothing music to distract your attention. By doing this or picking up any hobby you like, you can shift the focus on other things to let the “anger triggering” situation pass by.

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

2. Breathe Fully

It’s not always possible for you to physically get away from the person or situation that angers you. In such a case, you can exercise controlled and deep breathing.

The trick is not to get involved in the anger trigger moment, and just breathe deep. It helps – try it out! 

Your breathing fastens with the rise in your blood pressure as you get angry, and one way of dealing with anger is to control your breathing.

Practice diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing to inhale and exhale air using the diaphragm and abdomen so that you breathe fully and slowly.

This helps you maintain your cool and your blood pressure, besides reducing stress and increasing stamina.

Another trick is to slowly count up to 10 and synchronize your breathing with it, and keep doing so until you feel that your breathing is normal or stabilized.

Anger Management Tip: Breathe consciously by paying attention on each aspect of breathing, right from the time you inhale to exhale. This practice is a part of mindful meditation, which helps to control your mind and not let it get involved in the commotion.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” ~ Bible

3. Exercise Physically

When you’re angry, you’re full of negative energy. If you cannot control and eliminate this feeling with understanding, you need to release it in a healthy way that doesn’t harm others.

One of the easiest ways to deal with anger is to engage yourself in physical activities. These include sweating out activities like walking, skipping, jogging, running, swimming, playing some sport, and even gyming!

Exercising reduces your stress hormones and pumps the feel good Neuro-chemicals in your brain, which calms you down and elevates your mood.

Aerobic exercises and yoga can also help you lessen your anger and stress levels.

Anger is related to stress and anxiety, so you can use stress balls or a boxing bag to punch out your negative emotions if you feel that your anger is on the verge of eruption.

Anger Management Tip: If you can’t exercise, then try progressive muscle relaxation while sitting or standing by contracting and relaxing the muscles of the body from neck to toes. This helps reduce the stress in the body, and ultimately lessens your anger.

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” ~ Confucius

4. Think Rationally

You should think of the consequences when you get angry. What would be the end-result of your act of anger? Is it really worth the damage it will cause?

You can’t always act on the spur of the moment.

You’ve to be responsible and think about how or what you say or do, as that will affect you or the other person. Things like health, relationships, business, career and family need to be considered.

Try to be logical and analyze the root cause of the problem that led to the anger instead of flowing away in the stream of negative emotions.

Accept your angry feelings and adapt, adjust, compromise, negotiate, and talk about the trigger situations and its causes.

Resolve the problem amicably and intelligently, and let your head overrule your heart while dealing with anger.

Anger Management Tip: Use “I” statements in place of “You”, which place the blame on the person at the receiving end. Be calm and express your anger in decent words. Use non-confrontational language to clarify the facts with an intention to solve the problem.

“Whenever anger comes up, take out a mirror and look at yourself. When you are angry, you are not very beautiful.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

5. Express Creatively

You can release your negative feeling through many creative ways.

You could deal with anger by writing or express your feelings – either on paper, or if you have a blog, even through blogging.

Maintaining a daily journal is a healthy way of keeping anger and stress at bay, and not letting them affect you.

You could even use dance and music as a form of catharsis. You can diffuse and make the situation lighter by using your sense of humor, but never use sarcasm as it can make matters worse.

Talk about your feelings of anger with your best friend or family member. Getting to know different perspective might help change your mind and mood.

If you feel like your anger is about to erupt, then take a newspaper and tear it into pieces, or if you’re alone – just scream and let off the steam! You’ll feel light and easy. 

Anger Management Tip: Practice visualization from wherever you are by closing your eyes and imagining yourself in a place where you feel happy and peaceful. Force a smile on your face and you’ll feel calm and relaxed.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep your cool to confront anger

Remember that nothing good comes out of anger, and it only makes things worse.

Always be assertive and look out for possible solutions instead of being aggressive and finding reasons for confrontation.

But if you’re angry, then don’t drink it down – don’t suppress it forcibly because there might be chances of it erupting later like a volcano.

The best way to eliminate and deal with anger is to apologize, forgive and let go, and engage yourself in positive self-talk.

Don’t hold any grudges, instead try to be understanding. You should try to emphasize by getting into the other person’s mind and understand their perspective to assess the reasons for the anger.

Once the tension in the environment has calmed down, then sit and talk out matters. Always think before you speak because words once spoken cannot be taken back.

But remember to not talk about your anger when you’re rushed, tired, or before your sleep time.

However, if you fail to control your anger using all the tricks in the bag, then you should see a mental health professional or a therapist for more guidelines.

Don’t suffer from anger. Instead, be smart and learn how to deal with it in the right way.

Here’s a short video that will show you how to control your anger in your daily life.

How to Control Your Anger ~ Howcast ~ YouTube Video

Did you notice that “Anger” is just one alphabet short of “Danger” (D-anger)? So, I hope now that you know how to control your anger, you’ll keep yourself out of danger. 

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~ Elizabeth Kenny

Over to You –

What do you do when you get angry? Is controlling anger easy for you? Share your tips on how to deal with anger in the comments.

SOURCE

19:58:00 - By Vincent 0