As a clinical psychologist, I’m not surprised that I frequently see rigidness in individuals who are depressed and anxious. A good source of ways to learn about managing symptoms of anxiety and depression is the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) website.

People who are controlling and inflexible often find themselves frustrated because the rest of the world doesn’t live by their rules and expectations. Just because you want to eat green foods only or arrive to the airport three hours early doesn’t mean that anyone else wants to, so you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Flexibility means seeing things from different perspectives, tolerating ambiguity, taking risks, and learning from mistakes. It helps us adapt to a constantly changing environment and shows that we can handle diversity and accept other people’s preferences. Flexibility leads to openness, more opportunities, and less depression and anxiety.

Adults and children must find a balance between structure and spontaneity. Structure allows for a framework, choices, and some flexibility, but rigidity means you follow the rules — or else. How do you find balance? The best thing is to maintain structure and organization, but allow time for fun and taking advantage of opportunities that come your way.

Some people can do this on their own. But others need the help of a therapist. With appropriate treatment from a mental health professional, you can overcome anxiety and depression, which leads to a healthier quality of life.

Try these 10 ways to increase your flexibility:

1. Observe your rigid behaviors. Spend a few days actively taking note of your routines and rules. Ask your partner, children, or friends to tell you when your rigidness appears. This exercise isn’t meant to make you feel bad; it should help you learn to make your life more flexible.

2. Try new things. Try a new food, sport, type of movie, deodorant, anything! Get your brain used to doing things differently. If you havesocial anxiety and are worried about being judged by others, be honest about the worst thing that could happen: You might feel uncomfortable. But taking a risk will help you tackle the unexpected and open up to new experiences.

3. Embrace opportunities. Don’t say “no” purely out of habit. Instead of thinking of 20 reasons not to do something new, think of five reasons you should do it. Keep the bigger picture in mind. For example, I might not feel like going out with friends, but I want to continue to build friendships.

4. Be in the moment. Don’t think about all the other things you need to do. Slow down and focus on what you are experiencing internally and externally at that moment. Remind yourself of what you value most. I’m guessing that having good family relationships ranks higher than a clean kitchen.

5. Mix it up. Do you always do things exactly the same for a reason or just out of habit? Practice doing things differently. Drive a new route to work, substitute spinning for yoga, or build a fort with the kids and let them sleep in it. Show yourself that you can do things differently, and nothing disastrous will happen.

6. Go with the flow. This one might be a bigger challenge: Allow others to take charge. Have a day where your partner or friend plans everything without your opinion. This is a great way to see how it feels to be on the other side of rigid.

7. Compromise. Identify the situations where you are always in charge. Are there others in your life who deserve some input ? They may have stopped giving their opinions because you don’t acknowledge them, so this will be an adjustment for both parties. Actively listen to others and see if you can meet them half way.

8. Let it go. Practice letting the small stuff go. If your partner doesn’t fold the towels the way you like or the kids don’t make their beds well, just let it be. Keeping quiet will be very difficult at first, but consider how much freedom you’ll gain not having to monitor or complete every single task on your own.

9. Catch yourself. Monitor your vocabulary for “can’t,” “shouldn’t,” or “not right.” These are red flags that you are moving into rigid territory. Try “let’s see,” “let’s find out,” “I’m not sure,” or “what do you think?”

10. Practice. Just as you have to practice stretching your muscles to become more physically flexible, you must do the same thing to become mentally flexible. Set small goals at first, such as making one small change each day. The more you can challenge yourself to allow for new experiences, the easier it will be to integrate them into your everyday life.

SOURCE

13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

By BIANCA

Squeezing each other's spots, leaving the toilet door open and talking while naked: 30 signs YOUR relationship has hit the comfort zone (and will go the distance)

Relationships hit the comfort phase after exactly 11 months and 24 days
Having the confidence to tell a partner their breath smells shows potential
Doing their laundry and wearing 'ugly' underwear is a sign of a good bond

Do you go au natural around your partner, chat to them while naked and do their laundry? You've officially hit the comfort zone.

New research reveals that relationships hit the comfort phase after exactly 11 months and 24 days - when you're happy to squeeze each other's spots, leave the toilet door open and tell all about ex-partners.

talking while naked

The research analysed 2,000 couples and found it takes almost a year to get used to sharing your life and living space with a significant other.

And the key signs you've entered the comfort zone include allowing your other half to see you when ill, without make-up on and in your lounging clothes.

Using the toilet without locking the door, feeling free to cry in front of your partner and letting them look after you when poorly are other sure signs of being in a comfortable relationship.

The poll also found having the confidence to tell a partner if their breath is a little smelly or if they need a squirt of deodorant without them taking offence is a strong sign that a relationship has serious potential.

It may seem gross to some, but squeezing each other's spots or plucking stray hairs is another sign a relationship is definitely comfortable. And the cliche of finishing each other's sentences still rings true - appearing inside the top 30 signs of a comfortable partnership.

Using the toilet without locking the doo

Using the toilet without locking the door, feeling free to cry in front of your partner and letting them look after you when poorly are other sure signs of being in a comfortable relationship

Body confidence was a continuous theme, with being more relaxed about shaving, physical appearance overall and wearing swimwear in front of your partner all being cited as good markers for a relationship lasting the pace.

It's not always smooth sailing though - a third have been in a relationship where their partner got too comfortable too quickly and the illusion of a perfect relationship is most commonly broken when the man breaks wind in front of his partner.

Nearly a fifth said a new partner had overstepped the mark by getting in touch with their family members too early, or asking about ex-partners.

Having the confidence to tell a partner if their breath is a little smelly

Having the confidence to tell a partner if their breath is a little smelly or if they need a squirt of deodorant without them taking offence is another tell-tale sign of a strong relationship

A spokesperson for Measure digital bowel health test, who commissioned the research, said: 'It's interesting to see that it takes nearly a year for people to feel they can really be comfortable around each other.

'At first we're very conscious and don't want to be seen as anything but our best, but gradually over time we let people in more and more as our trust and confidence builds.

'Some might say the signs you've reached that place in a relationship can signal an end to the romance, but it's a good sign that you're comfortable in your partner's presence and can share any topic or worry with them without fear of being judged.'