Balance is the Key

By Bob Proctor

A past issue of Psychology Today detailed a study of 1,139 CEOs of the Fortune 2,000 companies. Their average income was $356,000, which is not surprising. However, one thing that will surprise many people is to learn that these high achievers' number one priority was their family and their number one asset was their integrity. In addition, over 90% of them exercised regularly, did not smoke, and most of them could give their cholesterol level. In other words, they lived quite a well-balanced life.

This to a large degree destroys the old myth about the top executives, doesn't it? How they are so devoted to their jobs that they neglect their health, their families and anything that has anything to do with not making money or doing their job. In short, these men are successful in their personal, family and business lives. They take care of their health and their priorities are well-placed. Countless other studies substantiate the fact that a balanced life is significantly important, not only for our health but for success in our chosen careers and with our families.

Obviously, there are numerous other factors involved. Research conclusively proves that people who have reached the top are people of integrity. They also are intelligent and, in most cases, well-educated. In addition, their ambition, their profession and their position require that they be good students who stay abreast with current events. Most of them love and even have a passion for what they do. In other words, it takes a balance of skill, talent, good qualities and hard work to win in every area of life. This enables them to acquire many of the things money will buy and even more of the things money won't buy. Think about it. Bring your life in balance, and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

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13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

Necessity – The Mother of Invention

By Bob Proctor

From childhood ice cream has been my favorite dessert. Coming from a large family and raised during the Depression, we had an occasional "churn" of ice cream on Sunday afternoon. We didn't get much at a serving, so that made it particularly enjoyable. Over the years my passion for ice cream did nothing but grow and at one time I could quickly rattle off the four best ice creams available in America and, interestingly enough, the best flavors came from four different companies. To this day I find it difficult to pass the ice cream store without a quick stop for at least a single, if not a double-dip. Unfortunately, my body retains ice cream, so I seriously limit my intake today.

This leads me to a fascinating little story on ice cream and the ice cream sundae. A merchant from Wisconsin named Smithson, out of necessity, invented the ice cream sundae in 1890. They did not deliver on Sunday in those days, so to avoid running short he reduced the amount of ice cream with each order and added chocolate syrup or some special fruit topping to the mixture. The mixture was so well-received that he was asked by his customers to serve it on the other days of the week as well. He wanted to meet his customers' needs and desires, but some people objected to the use of the word "Sunday" because it was the Lord's Day. They felt that to call an ice cream dish after the Lord's Day was profane. That's when he modified the spelling to "sundae." Today the ice cream sundae is still a favorite among millions of people.

Just think - we never would have had the sundae had there not been a shortage of ice cream. The next time you run short of something, think of how you can stretch it out. Who knows? Maybe it will be a bonanza like the sundae. Give it a try, and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

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13:05:00 - By Vincent 0

Your Mental Toolkit: Using the Drill

by Benyamin Elias

I spent my first 3 months of unemployment sleeping on a ratty mattress on the floor of a 4 foot by 15 foot room.

The next 6 months were spent in another small room, this time in a house with 13 other people. I managed to upgrade to a queen-size bed, but it took up 80% of the room. I used my suitcases as a nightstand because there was nowhere else to put them.

And yes, people stole my food.

When I was unemployed, I applied to dozens of jobs and got rejected from all of them. I started to question whether I would ever get a job. If you’ve ever been unemployed, you know that it takes a toll on your identity – it’s difficult to feel like a productive or valuable person with unemployment weighing on you.

But before I descended into a spiral of self-doubt, I reached into the mental toolkit I developed in college as a psychology major.

The tool I used helped me banish my insecurities; I was employed within a month and a half of using it.

I call it the drill, and you can use it to:

• Stop doubting yourself professionally and work towards the job and career you really want
• Stop feeling judged or out of place in the gym, and finally get the motivation to work out
• Stop wondering what people think of you and effortlessly connect with them as people

What is the drill?

The drill is a technique I borrowed from cognitive behavioral therapy, the most widely used and most effect technique out there.

I call it the drill because step one is to drill down to the very core of the problem. Chances are high that you have some kind of distorted thinking that’s affecting your emotions and, by extension, your actions.

The first time I used the drill was for working out. I could never seem to consistently go to the gym. So in step one I asked myself: “what’s really going on?”

And I got an answer: “I don’t like going to the gym because I’m not fit and feel out of place. The gym is for fit people.”

Step two is to question everything. You’ve drilled down deep to figure out what’s really bothering you (and write that down! It’s easier to fight something you can see). Now you need to poke holes in it.

In my case, it was easy to fight: “Who says the gym is for fit people? The gym is a place for people that want to get fit, and that includes me. No one has any more ‘right’ to be here, and if I’m not sure what to do I can find a program to follow.”

Does that mean I changed overnight? Of course not. I had to use the drill quite a few times. In fact, most days I used it before and after working out – but I did start working out.

The two steps of the drill are:

1. Ask what’s really going on: Figure out what’s really bothering you and write it down. It needs to exist outside your head so you can fight it.

2. Question everything: Chances are high that you have some distorted thinking. Expose the reasons that your doubts are unfounded, and keep at it.

Apply these two steps over time and you’ll see serious improvement. When I used the drill, it affected every aspect of my life – from fitness, to careers, to relationships.

What are you struggling with? How can you use the drill?

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13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

You Cannot Always Change Situations, but You Can Change Your Attitude

by Remez Sasson

I am sure that there are certain situations and circumstances in your life that you would like to change. Often, it is quite simple to make changes, but we let laziness, procrastination or fear to stand in our way.

You might be surprised to hear that many of the changes you would like to make are within you reach, and often, within your immediate reach.

For example, you might always complain that you have no time to read. If reading is so important to you, what’s so difficult to arrange your day so that you can find the time? You can always get up half an hour earlier in the morning, or give up half an hour of watching TV in favor of reading a book.

Do you want to learn a foreign language, swim twice a week or arrange your wardrobe? These are simple to accomplish goals, but you might always seek excuses why you don’t have the time for them. You simply do not give them any priority, and prefer to stick to your comfort zone.

Sometimes, we might encounter situations and circumstances that we are unable change. What should we deal with such situations?

If you cannot change a situation, accept it, and learn to live with it. Sure, this requires a certain degree of self-discipline and inner strength.

You might complain, resent the situation and the people involved and be unhappy. This would not help change the situation, and you will be creating suffering and unhappiness for you.

You cannot always change a situation or circumstances, but you can change your attitude toward it.

Changing external situations and circumstances might not always be possible, but changing your attitude is possible.

Read this sentence several times and try to remember it. You cannot always change situations and circumstances, but you can certainly learn to change your attitude. Instead of feeling resentful, frustrated and unhappy, you can learn to be calm, accept the situation, and not fight with it. You can try to look at the situation dispassionately, and try to find out what you can learn from it.

• Are there people you cannot get along with at work?
• Do you have neighbors you do not like?
• Is your boss too demanding?

Will you leave your job or go live somewhere else because of that?

Often, by accepting the situation, it will stop bothering you, or a solution might come along.

Various situations and circumstances could be lessons you need to learn, and after learning and acknowledging the lessons, the situations and circumstances will start to change.

If you accept what you cannot change and learn to live with it, it will stop to be an issue and stop to bother it.

When you accept what you cannot change, you save yourself a lot of energy and time, and can devote your time to better things than thinking about the situation you cannot change.

When you accept what you cannot change, sometimes, even without any effort on your part, as if miraculously, things start to change and improve.

Some people might misinterpret what I said and think that accepting situations means giving up. Others might regard acceptance as an excuse for laziness and doing nothing. This is far from the truth. Acceptance of situations that you cannot change is wisdom and not passivity, and has nothing with giving up and should not be an excuse for passivity.

You cannot change the past, and regretting and feeling bad about it is not going to change it. However, you can learn to stop dwelling on the past and move on.

If you don’t like one of your colleagues at work and you do not get along with him, anger and resentment would not help. However, you can try to be friendly and stop being resentful.

Suppose it is raining outside, but you need to go to work, go the grocery or meet friends. You cannot stop the train and you cannot fight the rain. Would you give up and stay at home, or wear a raincoat and go outside despite rain?

If it is very hot outside and you need to go somewhere, will anger and unhappiness change the weather? You can let thoughts about the weather to cause you suffering and unhappiness, and you can accept it and live with it.

When you change your attitude toward people, situations or circumstances they stop bothering you and they stop causing you suffering.

When you change your attitude, you start to feel better, you become happier, recognize opportunities to make changes, and on many occasions, the situations or circumstances you could not change, begin to change. By changing your attitude, situations and circumstances would start to change, as if by magic.

Are there any tools that can help you change your attitude? Yes, there are a few, such as repeating affirmations, practicing visualization and developing inner peace.

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12:30:00 - By Vincent 0