A 7-Step Program for Managing Your Social Anxiety

by YUMI SAKUGAWA

Do you experience a pang of envy when you scroll through your Facebook news feed, Instagram home, or Twitter timeline and see all your friends doing super-awesome things that you weren't a part of? If you are like most people, then the answer is probably yes.

This particular strain of social media envy is now commonly referred to as FOMO, which stands for "Fear Of Missing Out." It can come in the form of feeling jealous over friends' vacation photos, the self-inflicted pressure to check out a hip restaurant that everyone else is talking about, or simply experiencing the general paranoia that everybody else online is having more fun without you.

Common as it is, FOMO can be managed and cured with gratitude, mindful breathing exercises, and most importantly, cutting back on your online browsing time. The end result could even eventually turn your FOMO into JOMO, i.e. "Joy of Missing Out."

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13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

Pokémon Go May Be The One Video Game That Is Good For Anxiety and Depression

by Samuel Hunley

Unlike other video games, Pokémon Go may actually be therapeutic for those suffering from anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

players have claimed that Pokémon Go has helped them with social anxiety, depression, and addiction … "

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Video games do not have the best reputation when it comes to physical and mental health, and intense video game players are often portrayed in a fairly negative light in popular media. Unfortunately, research has at least somewhat supported this perception. Though playing video games in moderation can be a rewarding pastime1, researchers have found that excessive (> 4 hours per day2) or pathological video game play predicts poor outcomes. For example, there exists substantial evidence linking increased video game play to increased obesity among children3. Likewise, preliminary evidence suggests that playing video games can lead to greater caloric intake among adolescents4, which would increase their chances for becoming obese.

In the case of mental health, pathological video game play has been associated with worse performance in school and worse relationships with parents among adolescents5. Furthermore, a number of studies have found evidence that greater time spent playing video games is associated with increased symptoms of anxiety and depression1-2, and other work suggests that individuals can actually become addicted to video games under certain circumstances6-7. Given the above evidence, it might come as a surprise to hear individuals claiming substantial improvements in their mental disorders after playing a video game for hours at a time. However, players are anecdotally reporting such effects in regard to the new game, Pokémon Go. For instance, some players have claimed that Pokémon Go has helped them with socialanxiety, depression, and addiction, and one player even reported they had seen the game help children with severe mental disorders at a hospital (all previous links may contain NSFW [Not Safe for Work] text). But how could a video game help with these disorders?

What is Pokémon Go?

For those unfamiliar with how the game works, player's seek to collect as many Pokémon, the little creatures that inhabit the game's world, as possible. The player can then challenge others for control over locations known as "gyms," which can give their team greater prestige (for a more detailed overview of Pokémon Go, check out this video). These game mechanics are fairly similar to those of the classic Pokémon card games released in the 90's – with one notable exception. Whereas in the old Gameboy games, you could do all of the above activities while seated on a couch, Pokémon Go requires you to leave your house to succeed. You cannot catch many if any Pokémon alone in your home, and you must traverse physical distances to have any chance of finding new or interesting specimens. In fact, you are most successful when surrounded by friends and/or strangers who can help direct you to the location of rare Pokémon. The game itself encourages social behavior by allowing players to share "lures," which attract Pokémon to a given place for anyone nearby to catch and often attracting an equal number of local players.

How is Pokémon Go like Therapy?

Oddly enough, these game mechanics closely mimic certain forms of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): specifically, behavioral activation and exposure therapy. In behavioral activation, traditionally used for helping depressed patients, therapists work with clients to identity behaviors or activities that they enjoy and to engage in those behaviors more often8. Though remarkably simple, this therapy has a strong track record of helping clients with depression, including major depressive disorder9-10. In other words, simply getting a depressed individual out of their house and interacting with others in a positive way can help them with their disorder, and initial evidence suggests that this treatment may help individuals with anxiety as well, particularly when it co-occurs with depression11.

Exposure therapy functions in a similar fashion. Originally developed by Joseph Wolpe, exposure therapy works to help clients with phobic fears, such as arachnophobia (the fear of spiders), by exposing them to the source of their fears12. Essentially, the therapist slowly exposes clients to the target of their fears while providing encouragement and helping them relax, which reduces clients' experience of fear. These same principles work with social anxiety disorder (previously known as social phobia13) with therapists slowly encouraging clients to engage in an increasing number of social encounters14.

Pokémon Go seems to follow the pattern of both of these therapies. It provides rewards and fun experiences but only for individuals who leave their homes. It also ensures that the player will encounter others playing the same rewarding game. Consequently, the social interactions that players have will typically be positive given that all parties are having fun. By providing such a rewarding context for social interactions and activity, the game makes it so that players will repeat these behaviors, leading to more positive experiences. To be sure, we must take all of this with a grain of salt. Thus far, we only have anecdotal evidence for these positive effects. However, these stories provide initial evidence that a game as simple as Pokémon Go may have an impact on individuals with mental disorders.

What does Pokémon Go tell us about the future?

Pokémon Go will most likely not serve as a long-term solution. In fact, evidence suggests that interest in the game may have already peaked, and if enough people stop playing the game, it loses its appeal as a means of encouraging positive social interactions15. However, it does serve as a real-world proof of concept that such games can help individuals who would otherwise not receive treatment. Importantly, Pokémon Go is not the only such game on the block. It was based on a previously existing game called Ingress, which also requires players to leave their homes and interact with others. Despite receiving less media attention, Ingress has its own body of dedicated players, numbering in the millions. Given the success of such games, they highlight a potential novel avenue for providing treatment to those who need it.

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12:30:00 - By Vincent 0

 FOMO. FEAR OF MISSING OUT. Feeling like you're missing out on something, like everyone else is doing something cooler than you, is a very real thing. It's called FOMO, and now there's a test to measure just how bad you may have it.

09:30:00 - By Vincent 0

Why social media causes anxiety

Is your online addiction making you anxious?

Social media is a great way to keep up with friends, but the need for more likes, followers, and re-tweets can lead to anxiety and addiction.

Between Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and even LinkedIn, social media is undoubtedly an outlet that engages most online users. However, according to mental health consultants nationally, social media has become an anxiety-provoking factor.

Compare and Despair

A large item contributing to social media anxiety is the compare-and-despair factor; that is, doctored pictures of friends on a vacation in Mexico seems to make your Dairy Queen-filled weekend pale in comparison, which in turn can lead to unsettling anxiety (in short, fear of personal failure). Feelings of self-consciousness or a need for perfectionism can arise, which often manifests itself into social anxiety or pervasive thoughts indicative of Obsessive-compulsive Disorder.

Comparing can also lead to anxiety when it relates to followers. For example, teens using Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook have indicated that it's more about quantity rather than quality; that is, the quantity of your followers, re-tweets, and "likes." Users can take these obscure numbers, and twist them to support negative thoughts.

Fear of Missing out

Another social anxiety triggered by online media is the fear of missing out; pictures of a party where the user was not invited, or yet another wedding they weren't able to attend thanks to their grueling work schedule can take a toll on self-esteem, say mental health specialists.

There's a flip side to this, however: it's been hypothesized that those that use social media are traditionally actually more anxious to begin with. And that the anxiety doesn't necessarily derive from the content itself, but not being able to access the content. In a sense, users become almost addicted to social media.

Social Media is More Addictive Than Cigarettes

Not only does social media attract more anxious users, but the University of Chicago found that it's also “more addictive" than cigarettes, and harder to abstain from than a cocktail might be. However, its not going to give you emphysema or liver disease, so perhaps folks are less likely to forgo that fix.

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16:00:00 - By Vincent 0

Crack Your Comfort Zone: Overcome Social Media Fears

By Kruse Control

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~Dale Carnegie

I was in Orlando last week speaking at a conference. I had a free morning so I asked the concierge where the best place to walk might be. He answered, “The Nature Walk.” That conjured up beautiful images in my imagination and I couldn’t wait to get going. The Florida Everglades are a natural wonder and for someone who grew up in Southern California, they are very intriguing.

I walked out and around the hotel’s golf course then onto the path and came upon a sign with information about the Nature Walk. It reminded people to watch out for ant hills along the way. “Ok”, I thought. I walked about a 1/2 mile further and the scenery was breathtaking. I saw beautiful birds and wondrous plants that can only be found in the Everglades. I took another turn and came upon a gorgeous clearing. I looked ahead a few feet and saw this sign:

When a hotel concierge describes something as a “Nature Walk”, one never really thinks about it being an exercise in food chain economics.For a moment, I thought about moving forward but then realized that these were REAL alligators, not the ones I’m used to seeing on the Jungle Cruise ride at Disneyland. So, I started to get scared because all the while I’d been on the lookout for those ant hills, an alligator could’ve been sauntering along getting ready to pounce. I scanned the area like the Terminator and high-tailed it for the golf course filled with the less-harmful animals.

Later that day after my speech, I walked the exhibit hall floor and met the most delightful car dealer and his Internet manager. They were from the South and were probably very comfortable with alligators in their midst. What they were apprehensive about was Social Media. They’d been hearing about it for awhile and knew they needed to find out more but it just wasn’t sitting too well with them for a myriad of reasons:

• Who is supposed to handle Social Media?
• How do we keep employees from saying the wrong things?
• What do we post?
• Where is the return on investment for Social Media?
• Why do we have to be on Social Media?

I got to thinking about how scary it must be for dealers (and most all business owners) who are new to Social Media. Those of us that adopted early and are in the trenches everyday don’t take enough time to realize how fearful this “open and connected” economy can be for someone new. What a metaphor that Nature Walk experience was for me.

The best way to face your Social Media fear is to crack out of your comfort zone, breakdown the components and load yourself with enough information so that you can make the right decisions:

• Spend 15 minutes everyday reading blogs that focus on Social Media marketing.
• Sites like CBT News offer short, information-packed videos that require a very small time commitment.
• Find people you trust or those that have credibility in the industry who can guide you without trying to sell you.

The next step is to take action and experience Social Media yourself:

• Get a Facebook account and start lurking. You don’t have to interact but it’s oh so much better if you do.
• If Facebook isn’t your gig, then check out Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, or Linkedin. The concept of Social networking is the same on these sites so find that one that you feel good about and go for it.
• Spend 15 minutes everyday interacting with those you’re connected to.

Information is power. That sign on the path gave me information to make a considered decision. Social Media is nothing to be feared. It’s a way to connect and engage your customers at every level of the sales process. Once you’ve taken the few steps outside your comfort zone, you’ll start to see how valuable Social Media is to your business.

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17:50:00 - By Vincent 0

The 9 Reasons People Procrastinate With Social Media

by Juliet McEwen Johnson

We all know by now, that when you make a habit of connecting with potential customers little and often, on topics that they care about, you increase the likelihood of them doing business with you. That could be 5 minutes each network per day. 5 minutes on each of the 5 major networks is less than half an hour; why do most of us drag our feet on such a simple way to increase our online visibility and build our business? Procrastination.

Here are 9 reasons why we all procrastinate about social media, and how we all need to get over ourselves and just do it.

1. Anxiety
   
   We worry that we'll say the wrong thing. We worry that there won't be anyone to talk to. We worry that we won't look smart. But we don't have to be smart; we just have to be helpful, kind, polite and supportive.
2. Fear of Addiction
   
   This is a legit fear; Pinterest in particular can take you down a series of rabbit holes as you explore more and more beautiful images and ideas. The answer is a stopwatch or kitchen timer. I like a real timer; the online versions work just as well. It is a discipline, like exercise and dieting. And in this case we are only asking ourselves for 5 minutes per network. I do mine across the day as I transition from project to project.
   
3. Dislike of Social Networking
   
   There are many people still using "push" marketing in the social landscape and it is annoying. That does not have to be you. Your job is to engage and connect. Contribute to those who are interested in talking with you. Have you found all of your top customers on Twitter, for example? To keep up with them in 140 characters at a time can be done by any introvert!
4. The Belief That It Is a Waste of Time
   
   In the offline world, how often do you have to connect with someone before they will buy? They say it takes 7 touches. Online is no different, except that your butt hasn't left your desk chair and it's taken a lot less time!
   
5. Disorganization
   
   You are simply trying to connect with people - so a comment, a like, a plus one, or a re-tweet all will get your name in front of the owner of the content you are appreciating. It can be simple.
6. Distraction
   
   The social networks are designed to delight you; you must expect distraction and use it to your advantage. Whenever pulled off task, simply comment on the new discovery and see if this is someone you would like to connect with.
   
7. Reactivity
   
   There is nothing wrong with reacting to discussions already taking place. Social media is about listening and engaging before you can put your own content out there with a sales message. The daily business of social media IS reacting, being where the conversation is already taking place.Reactivity is a plus, and should not be cast as a reason to procrastinate.
8. Lack Of Pro-activity and Planning
   
   For all those of us who need a plan, here it is - take 5 minutes and connect with as many people as you can in that time frame on their topics. When you have done that for 3 days straight, you have earned the right to plant a sales link. The end. It is that easy.
   
9. Laziness
   
   Let's face it: we all want a magic pill. I would like a robot that cooks gourmet, healthy food and cleans the house, most especially the toilets, but that era has not arrived yet. It will. Until then, we all have to do those kinds of tasks ourselves. After I have cleaned my own house a few times, I certainly appreciate it a lot more when someone else does it!

So, too, with social media, when you take the time to put in the work, even only a little bit, you do see results and you will be more appreciative as a result. You will have earned the results, which is a wonderful feeling! Every time you achieve a goal, the joy is well worth the effort in retrospect. You'll see

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16:00:00 - By Vincent 0

Giving Kick-Ass Presentations In The Age Of Social Media

By DREW NEISSER

Seven (somewhat snarky) new rules for public speaking in the social media era.

It was painful to watch. Jon Bond, the former ad giant turned social media honcho, was actually getting heckled at the Pivot Conference. When faced with what was a feisty crowd to begin with, Bond admitting that he "didn’t like Twitter" was like throwing fresh meat at rabid dogs. But rather than raise their voices, they let their fingers do the shouting. So while Bond continued to speak, a steady stream of snarky tweets projected on the wall behind him, acting like foghorns and essentially drowning him out.

Being a great speaker was never easy, but now, with your audience likely to have a mobile device in hand and real-time access to multiple social channels, the challenges have gotten that much greater. To get a sense of the impact of social media on conference presentations, I interviewed a bunch of regulars on the social media circuit. In the process, they helped me identify these seven (somewhat snarky) new rules for public speaking in the social media era.

1. Don’t Panic if They Aren’t Looking at You

Sure, it's disconcerting when you gaze out at the audience and no one looks back. But whatever you do—don’t panic. Just because they are transfixed by their mobile devices, doesn’t mean they aren’t all ears. "I think the body language tells you if they’re paying attention—it’s far more distracting to see people whispering to each other than it is to see someone tapping on an iPad" said Jenny Dervin, VP of Corporate Communications at JetBlue, who received raves at a recent BDI event. 

2. Stifle the Temptation to Ask for a Device Moratorium

As tempting as it might be to ask your audience to shut down their devices, every speaker I talked to thought this would be a huge mistake. "I might get their undivided attention, but it would be mixed with their ire at being told how to watch my presentation," said former actor and speaker extraordinaire John C. Havens, who reminded me that in the old days, before digital devices, a lot of people would take notes on a pad of paper, which isn’t all that different than tapping out a tweet.

3. If You Aren’t Nervous, You Should Be Now

When I first learned public speaking, an experience advisor suggested that you "imagine the audience is naked," to quell the initial butterflies. Today, speakers are probably better off reminding themselves that they are the naked ones. If your facts are wrong, your audiences will Google then tweet the corrected data before you can say, "I’m just sayin’." And if that isn’t scary enough, as author and speaker Jeff Jarvis proclaimed last year at TED-NY, "the lecture, as a form, is bullshit," so you better ask yourself what you’re doing up there, anyway!

4. If You Don’t Speak Twitterese, It’s Time to Learn It

Let’s just imagine for the moment that your audience is absolutely riveted by your every word. Chances are some, if not many of them, will want to share your wisdom with their network, not tomorrow when they get back to the office, but right at that very moment. It is for this reason today’s effective speakers are not just sharing their Twitter handles upfront but also mixing in tweetable quotes. "Puns, sound bites and pithy phrases are [also] ways to aid in retention," Havens said. 

5. Congratulations! You May Be Speaking to Millions You Can’t SeeThe irony of speaking in the social media era is that audience in front of you may be far less significant than the collective reach of that particular group. "I’d much rather have the broader reach; it is one of the better measurements of speaking at events," said Frank Eliason, SVP of Social Media for Citibank. Havens adds that if his audience is glued to their devices, "odds are half of them are tweeting about my presentation and they’re helping market me!"

6. The Reviews Are In—In Real Time

Rather than waiting to ask a friend after the fact how you did, today’s skilled presenters welcome this feedback in real time. "It’s fun to respond to a tweet when I am on stage, and it personalizes the interaction with the audience," said Eliason. JetBlue’s Dervin finds these tweets helpful as well. "I go back in the stream to see what landed, based on how many people tweeted the same quoted," he said. "It’s an instant evaluation of my key messages."

7. When All Else Fails, Surprise the Audience with HonestyBringing this article back full circle, Jon Bond perplexed the Pivot crowd with his admission of not liking Twitter. While this honesty may have cost him some street cred with a Twitter-loving crowd, I recently saw another speaker use honesty to extraordinary advantage. Ray Kerins, VP of Corporate Communications at Pfizer, transfixed a BDI crowd with tales of a crisis that had befallen ChapStick on Facebook the day before. By admitting that Pfizer’s social media activities were a "work in progress," Kerins earned credibility that reverberated through the Twitterverse.

Final Note

All of the people we spoke to for this piece are very effective speakers, and though each has their own distinctive style, there are a few other commonalities I’d like to point out. First, none of them depend on word-laden PowerPoint presentations. Second, most are good storytellers and use humor, often self-deprecating, to connect with their audiences. Finally, each of them manages to keep their presentations short enough to allow time for a healthy Q&A. Speaking of Q&A’s, you can find my complete interviews with Dervin, Havens, Eliason, and Jarvis onTheDrewBlog.com.

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16:30:00 - By Vincent 0

Social media cited as largest source of procrastination

By Rachel Moford

Procrastination is by no means a new invention, but a new survey shows that social media takes time from studying and projects the most.

Research conducted by Stop Procrastinating, an app that disconnects users from the internet in attempts to boost productivity, finds social media  and other internet time-wasters, to be the leading culprits behind millennial procrastination trends. The survey, analyzing the study habits of 1500 US undergraduate students, consistently found students identifying relatively new technological luxuries as the cause of their procrastination.

Phu Lwin, a freshman undeclared student, identifies social media as a contributor to her procrastination.

“I am very distracted by social media…as an international student, it is important to stay connected,”  Lwin said.

Of those polled, 74 percent identified that the degree to which internet distractions fueled their procrastination was significant and worrying. Another 64 percent of those polled admitted to having lost their train of thought after responding to a social media alert while studying. This is compared to the 14 percent that identified television as the cause of their distractions

Lwin, however,seems to have mixed feelings about procrastination as a whole.

“I know that procrastination is bad – but I feel like it is a part of my learning style. I work better under pressure, my ideas are just better then, ”Lwin said.

The study also shows that 51 percent of students admit to losing at least an hour of productivity a day to social media and internet distraction. About 44 percent of those polled were worried about the overall quality of their work decreasing due to procrastination caused by the internet.

Freshman computer science major Michael Wang believed that findings were underreported and categorically a terrible habit.

“If I could change one thing about myself, it would be that,” Wang said. “At this point, I think telling someone to stop procrastinating is about the same as telling someone to stop being depressed. That’s just not how it works.”

However, Wang did not view the internet or social media as solely culpable for his procrastination habits.

“Social media is definitely the easiest, most convenient form of procrastination. But if it wasn’t that, it would be something else. I once taught myself how to do a handstand,” Wang said.

Yulexa Bradford, a freshman psychology major, disagreed with the study’s conclusions completely.

“I don’t see the internet as the directly the cause of procrastination. A lot of it is just wanting to enjoy oneself,” Bradford said.

Bradford identifies herself as a procrastinator, but does not see it as an overall detriment to her studies and instead inherent to many individuals’ work styles.

“If I need to do something, I’m going to do it – there’s no pull from procrastination stopping me,” Bradford said.

SOURCE

16:00:00 - By Vincent 0

Social Media, FOMO and the Perfect Storm for the Quarter-Life Crisis

By Rebecca Strong

“Your twenties are the best time in your life. You have nothing to worry about yet.” — my delusional uncle, December 2010.

For some, it hits right after they’re handed a college diploma. Set free in the “real world,” they feel lost — overwhelmed by their options and flailing around trying to figure out what to do with their degrees (all while dealing with a pile of debt). For others, the panic sweeps in a slow burn and sets in later. They watch as one by one, their friends get engaged or achieve professional success, leaving them feeling unsure of the decisions they’ve made, the path they’ve taken and ultimately, perhaps a bit inadequate.

While the term may have only been coined in recent years, it’s become increasingly clear that the quarter-life crisis is a very real thing. The phenomenon, which can occur anytime between one’s early 20s and early 30s, is characterized by disappointments, insecurities, loneliness and depression. And a study published in the International Journal of Behavioral Development found that 39 percent of men and 49 percent of women reported feeling such a crisis in their twenties. Furthermore, according to a survey conducted by Gumtree.com, 86 percent of young people admitted feeling under pressure to succeed in their relationships, finances and jobs before hitting 30, 32 percent felt under pressure to marry and have children by the age of 30, and 21 percent wanted a complete career change.

At a British Psychological Society meeting, researchers broke down the quarter-life crisis into five key phases based on their studies of various individuals who’d experienced one:

• Phase 1: A feeling of being locked in by your life choices — whether a job, relationship, or both — as though you have been living your life on autopilot.
• Phase 2: A rising sense of “I’ve got to get out” and that change is possible.
• Phase 3: Quitting whatever is making you feel trapped and embarking on a “time out” period where you try out new experiences to figure out who you want to be.
• Phase 4: A period of rebuilding your life.
• Phase 5: Developing and cementing new commitments that better reflect your interests and aspirations.

Of course the trigger — and trajectory — for these crises is slightly different for every individual. But on the whole, it’s a remarkably similar experience, and in some ways, seems to have become a sort of rite of passage. In fact, I’m hard pressed to think of a single friend who I haven’t witnessed experience some form of this phenomenon already. Some of us are still treading through it, just trying to stay above water. Some have made it through unscathed to the other side.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how different the life of a 20-something is now than it was 30 or 40 years ago, for our parents. Sure, some of that has to do with the economy/job market, changing social pressures, shifting gender roles, etc. But a lot of it has to do with technology. More specifically, it has to do with social media.

Log onto Facebook in your 20s and you’re bound to see someone flashing their engagement ring. Check LinkedIn and you can’t escape noticing your old colleague just got promoted. Scroll through Instagram and you might come across your college roomie vacationing with his or her S.O. at some chic resort in St. Bart’s. Social media fuels our hunger for fantasy, and we can lose ourselves in it. But we’re only seeing a carefully crafted slice of someone’s life — which they’ve probably slapped a filter on — and it can make us feel like we’re falling short when the fact is, we’re not seeing the whole picture.

In short, many of us are suffering from permanent fear of missing out. “FOMO,” which was added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2013, refers to the feeling of “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere.” And certainly, for someone on the brink of — or in the throes of — a quarter life crisis, being constantly confronted with others’ successes on social media will only fuel this.

So even though our parents may have been plagued by the fear that somewhere, someone is having a better time, thanks to social networks, we millennials have at our fingertips what we consider proof that someone has a better job, a better car, a better relationship, is making more money, etc. No surprise here: A 2014 study in the Journal of Behavioral Addictions found a correlation between higher social media usage and depression/anxiety. Furthermore, research by Psychology Today reveals that key themes in relation to the negative consequences of FOMO include self-identity problems, loneliness, negative self-image, feelings of personal inadequacy, disconnection and jealousy. Sound familiar? They’re almost identical to the symptoms of the quarter-life crisis.

Is giving up on social media the answer? Not for everyone. Staying connected to people going through the same crises can be crucial for remembering that you’re not alone in this, and better yet, that will you will get through it. The key seems to be a shift in mindset — realizing that this phase of life is not one-size-fits-all, that the so-called life milestones ingrained in our brains by societal norms are certainly not anything to measure our happiness against.

At the core of the quarter-life crisis is the burning feeling that you need to already have achieved certain things by a certain age. Newsflash: you define your own success and happiness. And more importantly, the success and happiness of others that you think you’re witnessing on social channels isn’t necessarily a reflection of their reality. You don’t know the incessant arguments those newlyweds are already having — and they certainly wouldn’t tweet about them. You don’t know that your former fraternity brother who just posted on Facebook about his high-paying job is secretly miserable because he’s working 14-hour days. You don’t know what dreams the young, smiling mom with her Instagrams of the seemingly perfect family gave up on to have kids a little sooner than she was ready for. In other words, those people you think have it “all figured out”? They don’t know what the hell they’re doing either. It’s just that people choose only to highlight the most glamorous snippets of their lives on these sites.

So instead of wasting time comparing yourself to others, spend it figuring out what’s meaningful to you. What makes you tick. What kind of change you want to see in the world. And remember this: synonyms for the word “crisis” include a turning point, a crossroads. It may not feel like it, but this painful phase is the beginning of something great: taking your life back.

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11:00:00 - By Vincent 0