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vrijdag 16 september 2016

5 Lessons Standup Comedians Can Teach You About Public Speaking



 by Steven Handel



If you want to improve your public speaking, there is no better place to look than the world of standup comedy.

A good comedian is a master of public speaking. Not only do they have to be confident and comfortable on stage, but they are expected to be humorous and entertaining as well. As Jerry Seinfeld once said, “No one is more judged in civilized society than a standup comedian. Every 12 seconds you’re rated.”
Standup comedy is one of the most difficult professions to be successful at. They have to face tremendous amounts of failure and embarrassment before they can get to where they are. And there is nothing more humiliating than “bombing” in front of an audience, where every joke lands flat and everyone is left staring at you blankly as you try to squeeze out a few laughs.
In the new book Do You Talk Funny? 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker, David Nihill enters the world of standup comedy and discovers key lessons that anyone can use to improve their public speaking.
Whether you’re giving a public presentation to a business, school, or government organization, there is a lot you can learn from standup comedy. And learning these skills can really take your speaking ability to the next level.
Unlike a comedian, most public speakers aren’t expected to be very funny or entertaining. But even adding just a little bit of humor to your presentation will make you stand out from the crowd and become more memorable.




Here are a few key lessons we can learn from standup comedians on how to improve our public speaking abilities.

Master the art of story-telling
People rarely remember information unless it is presented in the form of a story.
You can list all of the facts, statistics, and bits of wisdom you’d like, but it’s probably going to go in one ear and out the other. People crave narratives to make sense of their world. We don’t just want information given to us in clear bullet-points, we want that information to convey a story with a beginning, middle, and end.
While there are comedians who specialize in one-liners and witticisms (Bo Burnham, Anthony Jeselnik), often the best comedians are story-tellers (Louis C.K., Aziz Ansari, Doug Stanhope). They begin their jokes by describing a situation. Then they reveal a conflict with the protagonist (often themselves). And they end by presenting a resolution or final twist.
Story-telling is important in any domain where you want to grab an audience’s attention. A teacher may have a bunch of facts that they want their students to remember, but by adding a story to their presentation they can make their material much more sticky and memorable (see How to Plant Powerful Ideas in People’s Minds That Actually Take Root for more on this).
While you may not think of yourself as a natural story-teller, this is something that can definitely be learned with practice. David Nihill gives great tips in his book on how he became a better story-teller, and I’ll be sharing some of those with you right now.

Draw from your own personal experiences
When trying to create a story, you don’t need to start from scratch or recreate an entire universe. Start with what you know best – your own personal experiences.
Most of our memories are already structured in the form of a narrative. There’s a setting, a protagonist (you!), a conflict, and an ending.
One great piece of advice is to start a document on your computer and make a list of memorable stories. These could be centered around a specific presentation you want to give (stories of breakups or stories of failing at a goal), or just stories you think will be interesting or entertaining to share with your audience.
Start by making a list with the general idea behind each story (“That one time a girl threw her drink at me”). Then you can go back to this list and elaborate more on each memory when you have the time (“I was at college at this local bar…all my friends had hooked up with a girl and I was the odd man out…I saw this gorgeous girl dancing and decided to approach her…”).
Having a “story collection” can be very helpful if you are a public speaker. If you don’t already have one, you should start one now. You might have a lot of awesome stories that you don’t know how to integrate into your presentation, but by starting your collection now you will have a wealth of stories on the back-burner, ready for use when you need them.
The best part about focusing on your own personal experiences is that you know your stories will be unique. Also, no one will know your stories better than you so they are typically way easier to remember and share than if you were to try and create an entertaining story out of thin air.
It’s often said that to be a great story-teller, you need to have lived a little. If you’re having trouble thinking of any interesting memories from your past, it may be time to do some adventure-seeking and start creating new stories in your life.
Try new things, go to new places, and meet new people – often the stories will start writing themselves. These are great ways to start building a better “story collection” in your life.

In Do You Talk Funny? 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker, David Nihill enters the comedy world for a whole year to help overcome his fear of public speaking. The book shares his experiences as “Irish Dave” and the various lessons he picked up from standup comedians. Each chapter includes practical advice and exercises to help you improve your own skills in communication, presentation, and public speaking.


Test your material with friends and family
Every comedian knows that their jokes are rarely “finished” when they are telling them for the first time.
Instead, like most polished stories, it often requires a few new drafts and editing before we settle on the best way to share our material.
This is why comedians like Louis C.K., Jerry Seinfeld, and Aziz Ansari spend a lot of time sharing their new material in small clubs or at open mic nights before they present the material to a larger audience.
Sometimes they will enter a small club with just a vague idea of what they want to talk about. And once they begin “riffing” (or improvising) on that topic, they begin to find what lines get laughs and what lines they are better off getting rid of.
We can practice our own material in a similar way – even if it’s just sharing a story with friends or family. By testing your material in front of a small audience, you’ll soon discover what parts of your story connect with your audience and what parts don’t seem to work.
Like all experiments, this is going to require you becoming more comfortable with failure. You might think you have a great story on your mind, but you end up delivering it in a bad way and no one seems to care. That’s okay! Just try to take what you learned and use that to improve your story the next time you’re telling it.
Over time your stories will become more polished and refined. Eventually you reach a point where you become more comfortable telling the story because you know exactly what lines are going to kill it with your audience.
For extra credit, try filming your presentations whenever possible. This makes it much easier to reevaluate your material when you’re finished and pick apart what works and what doesn’t work.
Practice your material in small and safe ways and try to encourage honest feedback when you can. You’ll soon be ready to take your material to the big stage!


Pay attention to your delivery
You can hear the same exact joke told by two different people and have a completely different reaction to it.
Why? Because delivery matters. If someone says all the right words but doesn’t say it with the right tone or the right timing, a good joke can often turn into a bad joke.
Norm MacDonald is a master at this. Often his jokes are completely dry and sometimes even described as “anti-jokes” because they rarely follow a typical joke format. But the way he delivers his material is something that is solely unique to him and he makes it work for his personality (check out a video of his moth joke if you want to get a feel for his style of comedy).
The proper delivery is going to depend on how you present yourself, your material, and your individual personality, but it’s important to remember that your delivery will make a big difference in how well your material comes off to others.
With practice, you’ll discover the best way to deliver your stories. For example, once you know that a particular line is a strong one, you can heighten that line by taking an extra pause before you deliver it (to add suspense and tension before the final release).
You never want to take the punchlines of your story and breeze through them as if they are just another detail. By emphasizing those lines, you not only make them stronger but you also give a cue to your audience that this is the line where you expect a reaction. And they will be more likely to respond to it.
Of course it’s often difficult to monitor your delivery while you’re performing. This again is why it’s important to encourage feedback from others or to record your presentation so you can pay more attention to these subtle details later on.


Start strong and finish even stronger
Now that you have a bunch of good material to share, the next big question is how to organize it.
While Do You Talk Funny? has countless tips and advice on how to fine-tune your public speaking, one of the key pieces I want to focus on is to “start strong and finish even stronger.”
Psychology research shows that people are often programmed to remember the beginning and end of their experiences. The middle parts often become more of a blur.
For example, when psychologists ask individuals to remember a long list of words, they discover that participants are most likely to remember the words at the beginning and end of the list vs. words listed in the middle.
This is just one example of how our memories are biased toward the beginning and end of an experience.
With this in mind, a good public speaker wants to start their presentation strong to make a positive first impression and grip their audience’s attention. But they also want to end their presentation even stronger to leave a lasting impact and give their audience a positive note to remember them afterwards.
In the case of a comedian, David Nihill recommends that you use your second best joke at the very beginning and your best joke at the very end. By structuring your material this way, you are more likely to leave a stronger impression.
Once you’ve created your material and tested it, you should have a good idea of what are the strongest parts of your presentation, and that’ll give you a better idea of the order you should structure it.

Conclusion
I have a lot of respect for standup comedians – it’s something I would love to dabble in to improve my own communication and presentation skills.
When I came across the book Do You Talk Funny? 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker, I knew it would be right up my alley and I had to check it out. David Nihill does a really great job taking lessons from the world of standup comedy and showing you how to apply them to any type of public speaking. I highly recommend it!

SOURCE
22:00:00 - By Vincent 0

donderdag 15 september 2016

Presentation tip to make you a star

Presentation? Do This



Tell the people in the room what you expect from them.
There are at least 3 common reasons why you give a presentation:
1. To educate in order for people to make a decision
2. To prompt action or implementation
3. To educate for the sake of knowledge
Emerson-2
You need to tell them at the beginning what you're doing and what they have to do. Without giving them a "mental assignment," people don't have a context in which to process the information. If they don't know what's expected of them, human nature  leads the audience into a passive mode. The burden of the presentation is entirely on you.
Do this:
1. "At the end of the meeting we'll decide on the best supply chain software for our organization. You'll  be expected to offer your rationale for the risks and benefits of each. So I expect that we'll have a lot of questions and discussion during the next hour."
2. "I'm going to lay out the steps of the product launch. Each of you will play a role in its execution. At the end of the meeting I'll ask for a commitment to a timetable from each of the managers here. As I lay out the information, be sure to speak up and discuss the pros and cons from your perspective. The deadline for the launch is 60 days from now."
3. "We've discovered a possible new opportunity as a result of R&D. My purpose is to show you what led to this so that you can understand what is evolving with the technology."
Make your audience mentally active
  • Tell them at the beginning what their role is and how to play it. 

  • They'll appreciate the direction.

  • You'll get more participation.
13:00:00 - By Vincent 0

zaterdag 27 augustus 2016

What Are Comfort Zone Challenges? The First Official Definition Ever

By Till H. Groß


  

I am not exaggerating when I say Comfort Zone Challenges changed the trajectory of my whole life.
I was about 21 when I did my first Comfort Zone Challenge, ever. Don’t get me wrong–at this point in time I was already doing well. I was earning good money with live seminars and coaching, I had given a University guest lecture, my mentors were some of the best therapists in the country, I had great friends, and a beautiful and intelligent girlfriend; but Comfort Zone Challenges took all this to another level. Now, not even two years later, I mingle with CEOs of million-dollar companies, ask future Nobel prize winners for advice, and can call some of the stars of the startup scene my close-friends. All this, while I charge more than $5000 for 30min talks, speak at international conferences, appear on national TV, get featured in newspapers, and collaborate with YouTube stars that I used to watch in awe.
Obviously behind all this is a lot of hard work, but I am very sure that my increase in courage and confidence was the defining factor that helped me to leverage my efforts. To make this clear, I believe skill is the most important thing if you want to accomplish anything in life, but courage and confidence are what leverage this skill to allow you to do extraordinary things.
Josef Penninger is about to win the Nobel Prize in medicine and ranks among the top ten scientists in the world. He happened to be my mentor during a TV show last year. When I asked him what distinguishes him from other scientists, he said: “I am very sure there are thousands of other scientists who are equally capable, but I am very courageous.” So as soon as you reach a certain level of skill, courage is the factor that takes it to the next level.
The good thing is you can train your courage and learn to become more confident!One of the most effective ways to achieve this is by doing Comfort Zone Challenges. In this article, I will explain what Comfort Zone Challenges are, where they come from, and lay the foundation for the next article where I will explain how you can use Comfort Zone Challenges to boost your courage and confidence.

Where Do Comfort Zone Challenges Come From?

It’s not clear where Comfort Zone Challenges were mentioned for the first time, but today they resemble a modern and fresh form of exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is a technique from cognitive-behavioral therapy and was first used in the 1950s as a way to cure people with specific phobias. In exposure therapy, you would expose a person to a feared stimulus (eg. a snake, a small space, crowds of people) until a desensitization would occur. Desensitization is when your body no longer responds with fear to a stimulus that before had caused a fear response.
This exposure can happen gradually, from the least fear-inducing stimulus to the most fear-inducing stimulus, which is also called systematic exposure. Alternatively, the therapist would expose the client to the scariest thing on his fear hierarchy first and thereby tackle the client’s biggest fear head on. This form of exposure is called flooding.

What happens when you are exposed to a frightening but non-dangerous (!) stimulus? Well, over time your fear decreases, and after several of these exposures the fear will vanish completely.


This concept got picked up by several self-help authors and pickup artists, termed Comfort Zone Challenges, and was advocated as a way to overcome social limitations like the fear of approaching strangers. I learned about Comfort Zone Challenges for the first time when I read Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Work Week. This is also where the now famous “Lay down on the street for 30 seconds” challenge initially comes from.

What is a Comfort Zone Challenge? The First Official Definition

There is no official definition for “Comfort Zone Challenge” on the Internet or anywhere else. So some time ago I lived up to my reputation as a budding scientist and crafted the first official definition. Therefore, I took into account what others had written about the topic and how it related to psychology, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure therapy. I also made a special effort to distinguish Comfort Zone Challenges from other courageous acts, just plain stupid things, and pranks, since the lines between these can often be blurry when there is not clear distinction. I also tried to craft the definition in such a way that it would automatically answer all the questions you guys usually ask me. Thus, I ended up with the following definition:
“A Comfort Zone Challenge is a planned action to face a fear with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence. This action includes a calculated risk of negative social evaluation but does not expose you to real danger or long-term negative consequences.”
Let’s take a closer look at this definition and especially why is it important to have such a definition.

Why the Definition is Important

A clear definition is important for several reasons. On the one hand, it allows you to be more effective in your endeavor to increase confidence; on the other hand, it protects you from getting stressed out by Comfort Zone Challenges, which is not the goal.
There are two parts of the definition that are tremendously important and understanding these can save you a lot of stress.

“A Comfort Zone Challenge is planned action…”

The first part that is very important is the fact that a Comfort Zone Challenge is always a planned action.
I recently received this email from a guy who was pretty stressed out.


Email


He started to see everything as a challenge. I have been there too. There was a time when I would sit in the subway and start thinking “What would scare the shit out of me right now,” and then I would have this mental fight as to whether I should do it or not. This is just mind fucking and stressful; there is no point going through life and trying to do as many challenges as possible, or seeing everything as a possible challenge.
In order to avoid being trapped in this mental spiral, we consider only planned actions as a Comfort Zone Challenges.
This part of the definition goes back to the roots in exposure therapy. Before every exposure, the client and therapist would plan the exposure precisely and also attempt to predict what would happen. Focusing on this can help relieve you from a lot of unnecessary stress. If you are always on the lookout for things to do that might scare you then you will only end up in a constant state of anxiousness–which is not the point of Comfort Zone Challenges. Believe me, there are so many people who start doing challenges but begin to find it hard to relax and just live their lives, because they don’t draw the distinction between Comfort Zone Challenges and random acts.
Of course, there are some badass people who do challenges all the time and consider everything a challenge, but they’re generally just intense motherfuckers. Most of us would simply end up stressed out and worse off than before.

The Basketball Metaphor

Let’s make this whole thing a bit more tangible with a little metaphor. Assume you are a basketball player. A baller lifts weights and works out to become stronger to perform better on the court. Likewise, we do Comfort Zone Challenges to become more confident and perform “better” in social situations.
When you workout you have a clear plan of what you will do, then you go to the gym and do your workout according to this plan. When you complete your last exercise, you’re done for the day. Think about it–this planned action is important. You wouldn’t walk through your daily life always looking for heavy things you could lift and then start doing curls with a couple of books or do some pull-ups at your door (though I once had this guy on my team, let’s call him Dafe, who actually did lift everything around him and was constantly in a workout mode. But that’s a different story.). It is pretty obvious that being in a constant workout mode is counterproductive. The same goes for Comfort Zone Challenges. Constantly being on the lookout for a challenge will not achieve the same results as a planned challenge; it also has a higher risk of backfiring. So instead, have a Comfort Zone Challenge routine and know when you are done, similar to a workout routine.
On to the next part of the definition:

A Comfort Zone Challenge is a planned action with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence

This part defines what is and what is not a challenge. Comfort Zone Challenges are a clear and effective tool to overcome fear and boost courage and confidence–that’s it! Due to this primary goal, there is a pretty clear line between Challenges and just plain stupid things, pranks, or real life situations.

REAL LIFE VS COMFORT ZONE CHALLENGE

Comfort Zone Challenges are a tool to prepare yourself for real life situations and should therefore be distinct from real life situations. For example, if you are at a party and you see a really interesting person whom you have always wanted to talk to but have been too afraid to approach, then this is not a Comfort Zone Challenge. This is a real life situation where your primary goal is to get to know the person – Comfort Zone Challenges prepare your for this kind of moment.

PRANK VS COMFORT ZONE CHALLENGE

Walking up to a stranger without saying anything and trying to hold the person’s hand might be uncomfortable and scare you, but when your buddy is filming it, it’s just a prank and not a Comfort Zone Challenge. The primary goal of a prank is to get a funny reaction from people, and while it is uncomfortable, it avoids the purpose of making yourself uncomfortable as a challenge.

STUPID DARES VS COMFORT ZONE CHALLENGES

Likewise, two boys who challenge each other to yell “Penis” as loud as possible, or to run naked across campus, are not attempting a challenge, but are being stupid (or funny), since the primary goal is to impress the other person and not to challenge yourselfin an uncomfortable situation.

Primary Goals

  • Comfort Zone Challenge >> become more confident and courageous
  • Real Life >> win a friend, get a date, get a point across, speak up, ask for what you want, go to a party,…
  • Prank >> get funny reactions from people
  • Dare >> impress the other person


The Basketball Metaphor

Let’s go back to our basketball player and see how this part of the definition can be explained with our workout metaphor. The difference betweens a prank, a dare and a Comfort Zone Challenge is rather clear. However the lines between Comfort Zone Challenges and real life situations might be a bit blurry from time to time so we will use the metaphor to distinguish between these two. Consider this:
Part of your workout as a basketball player might be to work on your hops; therefore, you would do a variety of different jumps with the primary goal of training the muscles in your legs to be able to jump higher. So standing in the gym consciously jumping up and down would be considered a workout because the primary goal is to train your muscles. Now, if you are on the court playing a game and you jump to grab a rebound, your primary goal is to grab the ball – so even though it is the same movement you wouldn’t call this a workout.
The same goes for Comfort Zone Challenges – you are doing them with the primary goal of becoming more confident. One of your challenges might be to approach ten strangers and ask for something, so to complete this challenge you will go to ten strangers and ask for something, like the time or directions to the nearest service station. However, if you need a tissue and therefore ask a stranger for a tissue, even though you might be scared, this is not a Comfort Zone Challenge because your primary goal is to actually get the tissue, not to challenge your comfort zone.


And the last part of the definition:

“A Comfort Zone Challenge is a planned action to face a fear with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence. This action includes a calculated risk of negative social evaluation but does not expose you to real danger or long-term negative consequences.

When doing Comfort Zone Challenges, you will face negative social evaluation, but this is the point of many challenges. Thereby, you will get accustomed to rejection or embarrassment and learn how to deal with it effectively; so some degree of negative evaluation is just part of the deal.
However, by no means should you put yourself in danger, or do things that are likely to have long-term consequences.
If your challenge is to look five strangers in the eye until the other person looks away, don’t do it with guys like this, unless you can handle it if it goes south. There is no benefit in putting yourself at unnecessary risk.
The same applies to long-term consequences. I recently received an email where a girl asked me if she should do the “Howling Like A Wolf” challenge in her library.

Email 2


My reply was of course she should not do this and the same applies for most other people. You are doing the whole Comfort Zone Challenge thing to become more social, win friends, gain confidence or to be more extroverted. Having your whole University believe you are nuts and maybe even getting expelled is not helpful in this endeavor. Because you might end up like this young fellow:
Email 3

Therefore, I would be cautious doing challenges in places that you usually spend your time or around people you see on a daily basis. This means most people shouldn’t do challenges at their work, university, or places they frequent. Unless you are already incredibly social, extroverted, or most people know you, people will probably assume you are crazy. I can do those things because I literally don’t care what the people think and I already have a reputation. I was the guy who held a lecture in his first semester and I knew a ton of people. Of course you want to stop caring what others think, but you also want to have friends, right? So rely on your own judgment as to whether you should do challenges in your everyday environment; however, I encourage you to seek neutral scenarios.
So when you start doing challenges, do it in places you don’t frequent, avoid long-term consequences, and don’t put yourself in any real danger.

Basketball Metaphor

Our basketball metaphor unfortunately doesn’t really apply here, though I will try to make it fit: If you have a game during regular season, you wouldn’t bring your dumbbells and start a workout during halftime. So the lesson here: Differentiate between training (Comfort Zone Challenges) and game time (living your normal life) and keep them separate.

Next Step

Now you have a clear idea what Comfort Zone Challenges are, and this definition will save you a lot of trouble in the long run. In the next article, you will learn how you can use Comfort Zone Challenges to boost your courage and confidence – there is a difference between the two.

Key Points:

  • “A Comfort Zone Challenge is a planned action to face a fear with the primary goal of overcoming this fear or increasing your courage and confidence. This action includes a calculated risk of negative social evaluation but does not expose you to real danger or long-term negative consequences.”
  • Planned action: don’t run around like a headless chicken trying to make a challenge out of everything.
  • Primary goal: differentiate challenges from just random acts, real-life situations, and pranks.
  • Avoid real danger and long-term negative consequences: don’t mess with the wrong people and avoid places you frequent

And now…get your first Challenge!

16:00:00 - By Vincent 0

zaterdag 20 augustus 2016

3 REASONS WE SHOULD BE SLOW TO JUDGE

Why Criticism Can Be More like Poison than Medicine



by Michael Hyatt
When I think of key leadership qualities, decisiveness is always high on the list. The ability to quickly size up a situation and act is essential.

But sometimes we can be too fast. And that’s especially true when it comes to criticism.
Every day in America between five hundred and a thousand people die because of medical errors. Unless carefully administered at the right dose, medicine is just another word for poison.
It’s the same way with criticism.

Avoiding a Bad Diagnosis

Identifying what’s wrong with a situation—including the attitude and actions of the people involved—is absolutely necessary in business and the rest of our lives. But if we’re too quick, we risk misjudging and harming those people. I’ve certainly done it. I’ve also been on the receiving end.
When I launched my mastermind group, for instance, I caught flak for the price. Some complained it was exclusionary. Others said I was greedy. When I posted an image of the men in the group, some griped about gender and race.
I could see where these people were coming from, but they missed the boat.
As leaders, we always face criticism. We dish it out too. Some of it is helpful, and some of it is not. Like medicine, it all depends on administration and dose. But here’s the problem: If we’re quick to judge, we’re upping the odds that we’ll misdiagnose and seriously hurt someone.
With that in mind, there are at least three reasons we should be slow to judge.

1. We Sometimes Don’t Have the Full Story

How often do we judge before we have all the facts? I see it all the time. Something hits us the wrong way, and we jump to criticize. News, commentary, and social media accelerate this reaction till it’s almost reflexive for some of us.
But do we know all the relevant details? Even more problematic, do we know the motivations behind what’s happened?
Judging on incomplete information is counterproductive—and sometimes worse. Before we make a move, we should make certain we have enough information. If circumstances force us to move without all the details, we should be humble, open to correction, and ready to change our opinion.

2. We Often Project Our Own Issues

We all have hangups, faults, and pet peeves. And because we’re so familiar with our own issues, we tend to notice them everywhere we turn, even—especially—in others.
As C.S. Lewis said about pride, “The more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.” And it’s not just pride. Most failings are like that.
When we don’t have the full story, we often fill in the blanks with our own issues. It’s unconscious, but suddenly we’ve assigned motives and condemned someone when we are really just imagining things.

3. We Usually Regret It Later

Reason 3 flows from the first two. If we realize our misdiagnosis, regret comes next.
By jumping the gun, we might have harmed relationships that will now have to be mended. Thankfully, there’s a simple process for making things right when we blow it. But we can’t be cavalier. Apologies are like car airbags—good to have but best if never needed.

“Criticism is like medicine. It’s poison unless carefully administered at the right dose.” Michael Hyatt

In social media, relationships are less involved. But that doesn’t mean that the results of misjudging are less important. For one, we can unfairly damage someone’s reputation.
And that goes for us, too. If we get it wrong time and again, we’re building a reputation as someone whose judgment is worthless.
Life and death are in the power of the tongue, Solomon said. We can’t be too careful how we use it.
Question: Have you ever misjudged someone? Where did you get things wrong? You can leave a comment by


17:00:00 - By Vincent 0

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