Why Criticism Can Be More like Poison than Medicine
by Michael Hyatt
When I think
of key leadership qualities, decisiveness is always high on the list. The
ability to quickly size up a situation and act is essential.
But sometimes we can be too fast. And that’s especially true
when it comes to criticism.
Every day in America between five hundred and a thousand people die because of medical errors. Unless carefully
administered at the right dose, medicine is just another word for poison.
It’s the
same way with criticism.
Avoiding a Bad Diagnosis
Identifying
what’s wrong with a situation—including the attitude and actions of the people
involved—is absolutely necessary in business and the rest of our lives. But if
we’re too quick, we risk misjudging and harming those people. I’ve certainly
done it. I’ve also been on the receiving end.
When I launched my mastermind group, for
instance, I caught flak for the price. Some complained it was exclusionary.
Others said I was greedy. When I posted an image of the men in the group, some
griped about gender and race.
I could see
where these people were coming from, but they missed the boat.
As leaders,
we always face criticism. We dish it out too. Some of it is helpful, and some
of it is not. Like medicine, it all depends on administration and dose. But
here’s the problem: If we’re quick to judge, we’re upping the odds that we’ll
misdiagnose and seriously hurt someone.
With that in mind, there are at least three reasons we should be slow to judge.
1. We Sometimes Don’t Have the Full Story
How often do
we judge before we have all the facts? I see it all the time. Something hits us
the wrong way, and we jump to criticize. News, commentary, and social media accelerate
this reaction till it’s almost reflexive for some of us.
But do we
know all the relevant details? Even more problematic, do we know the
motivations behind what’s happened?
Judging on
incomplete information is counterproductive—and sometimes worse. Before we make
a move, we should make certain we have enough information. If circumstances
force us to move without all the details, we should be humble, open to
correction, and ready to change our opinion.
2. We Often Project Our Own Issues
We all have
hangups, faults, and pet peeves. And because we’re so familiar with our own
issues, we tend to notice them everywhere we turn, even—especially—in others.
As C.S. Lewis said about pride, “The more
we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.” And it’s not just
pride. Most failings are like that.
When we
don’t have the full story, we often fill in the blanks with our own issues.
It’s unconscious, but suddenly we’ve assigned motives and condemned someone
when we are really just imagining things.
3. We Usually Regret It Later
Reason 3
flows from the first two. If we realize our misdiagnosis, regret comes next.
By jumping the gun, we might have harmed relationships that will
now have to be mended. Thankfully, there’s a simple process for making things
right when we blow it. But we
can’t be cavalier. Apologies are like car airbags—good to have but best if
never needed.
“Criticism
is like medicine. It’s poison unless carefully administered at the right dose.”
Michael Hyatt
In social
media, relationships are less involved. But that doesn’t mean that the results
of misjudging are less important. For one, we can unfairly damage someone’s
reputation.
And that
goes for us, too. If we get it wrong time and again, we’re building a
reputation as someone whose judgment is worthless.
Life and
death are in the power of the tongue, Solomon said. We can’t be too careful how
we use it.
Question: Have you ever misjudged
someone? Where did you get things wrong? You can leave a comment by
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