5 Golden Tips On How To Deal With Anger

By Harleena Singh 

Anger is not bad, but it’s the way we deal with it that really matters. While we all know how to get angry, we should also know how to deal with anger to avoid troubles in life.

One of the earlier posts on this blog tells you about the reasons why you get angry, while there’s another one with an interesting story on what harm can anger do to you and your life.

Now, even after being aware of all these facts, most of you still get angry – don’t you?

Well, don’t worry, because as I stated earlier, getting angry is not that much of a problem if you know the right ways to deal with it.

It happens with everybody, including myself – that sometimes you just can’t help but get angry. And that’s okay, though it’s better if you can avoid doing so or get angry within limits.

However, something that you should certainly do is to help yourself on learning how to control your anger.

Anger is an emotion, and as with any other emotion, it’s alright to go through it in constructive ways.

Whenever you feel the anger, know that you can release or deal with it in various positive ways.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ~ Gautama Buddha

Tips on How to Deal with Anger

There are many tips and techniques for controlling anger. Nevertheless, here are some of the ways that I use to control anger and find them quite effective.

Basically, you need to try and achieve these objectives whenever you get angry:

• Gain time so that you don’t react instantly
• Control the thoughts in your mind and changes in your body due to anger
• Release your anger in ways that are not harmful

Do you also use any of these anger management techniques? If not, then probably you can learn and practice them in your life.

“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” ~ Thomas Paine

1. Remove Yourself

Pull yourself away from the person or situation that angers you.

If someone or something makes you angry – you need to try to remove yourself temporarily from that situation or go away from that person.

If not that, then try ways so that the other person goes away and you can have time to deal with your anger.

Yes, take a timeout because that will reduce the chances of you giving back an instant reaction, which is often uncontrolled, unreasonable, and hurtful.

It’s not running away – but being wise, because it’s unlikely that you’ll deal with the person or situation in the best manner when you’re angry.

You can even sleep and later talk about what angered you when you wake up with a refreshed mind.

Anger Management Tip: Take a walk in the garden or listen to soothing music to distract your attention. By doing this or picking up any hobby you like, you can shift the focus on other things to let the “anger triggering” situation pass by.

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.” ~ Thomas Jefferson

2. Breathe Fully

It’s not always possible for you to physically get away from the person or situation that angers you. In such a case, you can exercise controlled and deep breathing.

The trick is not to get involved in the anger trigger moment, and just breathe deep. It helps – try it out! 

Your breathing fastens with the rise in your blood pressure as you get angry, and one way of dealing with anger is to control your breathing.

Practice diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing to inhale and exhale air using the diaphragm and abdomen so that you breathe fully and slowly.

This helps you maintain your cool and your blood pressure, besides reducing stress and increasing stamina.

Another trick is to slowly count up to 10 and synchronize your breathing with it, and keep doing so until you feel that your breathing is normal or stabilized.

Anger Management Tip: Breathe consciously by paying attention on each aspect of breathing, right from the time you inhale to exhale. This practice is a part of mindful meditation, which helps to control your mind and not let it get involved in the commotion.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.” ~ Bible

3. Exercise Physically

When you’re angry, you’re full of negative energy. If you cannot control and eliminate this feeling with understanding, you need to release it in a healthy way that doesn’t harm others.

One of the easiest ways to deal with anger is to engage yourself in physical activities. These include sweating out activities like walking, skipping, jogging, running, swimming, playing some sport, and even gyming!

Exercising reduces your stress hormones and pumps the feel good Neuro-chemicals in your brain, which calms you down and elevates your mood.

Aerobic exercises and yoga can also help you lessen your anger and stress levels.

Anger is related to stress and anxiety, so you can use stress balls or a boxing bag to punch out your negative emotions if you feel that your anger is on the verge of eruption.

Anger Management Tip: If you can’t exercise, then try progressive muscle relaxation while sitting or standing by contracting and relaxing the muscles of the body from neck to toes. This helps reduce the stress in the body, and ultimately lessens your anger.

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” ~ Confucius

4. Think Rationally

You should think of the consequences when you get angry. What would be the end-result of your act of anger? Is it really worth the damage it will cause?

You can’t always act on the spur of the moment.

You’ve to be responsible and think about how or what you say or do, as that will affect you or the other person. Things like health, relationships, business, career and family need to be considered.

Try to be logical and analyze the root cause of the problem that led to the anger instead of flowing away in the stream of negative emotions.

Accept your angry feelings and adapt, adjust, compromise, negotiate, and talk about the trigger situations and its causes.

Resolve the problem amicably and intelligently, and let your head overrule your heart while dealing with anger.

Anger Management Tip: Use “I” statements in place of “You”, which place the blame on the person at the receiving end. Be calm and express your anger in decent words. Use non-confrontational language to clarify the facts with an intention to solve the problem.

“Whenever anger comes up, take out a mirror and look at yourself. When you are angry, you are not very beautiful.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

5. Express Creatively

You can release your negative feeling through many creative ways.

You could deal with anger by writing or express your feelings – either on paper, or if you have a blog, even through blogging.

Maintaining a daily journal is a healthy way of keeping anger and stress at bay, and not letting them affect you.

You could even use dance and music as a form of catharsis. You can diffuse and make the situation lighter by using your sense of humor, but never use sarcasm as it can make matters worse.

Talk about your feelings of anger with your best friend or family member. Getting to know different perspective might help change your mind and mood.

If you feel like your anger is about to erupt, then take a newspaper and tear it into pieces, or if you’re alone – just scream and let off the steam! You’ll feel light and easy. 

Anger Management Tip: Practice visualization from wherever you are by closing your eyes and imagining yourself in a place where you feel happy and peaceful. Force a smile on your face and you’ll feel calm and relaxed.

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Keep your cool to confront anger

Remember that nothing good comes out of anger, and it only makes things worse.

Always be assertive and look out for possible solutions instead of being aggressive and finding reasons for confrontation.

But if you’re angry, then don’t drink it down – don’t suppress it forcibly because there might be chances of it erupting later like a volcano.

The best way to eliminate and deal with anger is to apologize, forgive and let go, and engage yourself in positive self-talk.

Don’t hold any grudges, instead try to be understanding. You should try to emphasize by getting into the other person’s mind and understand their perspective to assess the reasons for the anger.

Once the tension in the environment has calmed down, then sit and talk out matters. Always think before you speak because words once spoken cannot be taken back.

But remember to not talk about your anger when you’re rushed, tired, or before your sleep time.

However, if you fail to control your anger using all the tricks in the bag, then you should see a mental health professional or a therapist for more guidelines.

Don’t suffer from anger. Instead, be smart and learn how to deal with it in the right way.

Here’s a short video that will show you how to control your anger in your daily life.

How to Control Your Anger ~ Howcast ~ YouTube Video

Did you notice that “Anger” is just one alphabet short of “Danger” (D-anger)? So, I hope now that you know how to control your anger, you’ll keep yourself out of danger. 

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~ Elizabeth Kenny

Over to You –

What do you do when you get angry? Is controlling anger easy for you? Share your tips on how to deal with anger in the comments.

SOURCE